So, apaprently I can't be diagnosed with Asperger's anymore

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My apologies. I was having difficulty wording things (still kind of am, but it's clearing up), and what I meant was that I spell it "apaprently" vs "apparently" because when I spell it the latter way it gives me anxiety. Normally, that problem is only verbal, knowingly pronouncing things incorrectly because they feel better in my mouth when I say them. Certain phonemes are more comfortable to say, and some are actually physically painful because of how they feel. I don't know how to explain it more clearly than that, sorry. With apaprently, though, I can pronounce it the actual correct way aloud, but when I'm typing it I have to spell it apaprently. It could possibly be a psychosomatic thing, but it's still anxiety inducing and I don't want to go through the process of desensitizing myself to something again, at least not for something so trivial.

My apologies. I was having difficulty wording things (still kind of am, but it's clearing up), and what I meant was that I spell it "apaprently" vs "apparently" because when I spell it the latter way it gives me anxiety. Normally, that problem is only verbal, knowingly pronouncing things incorrectly because they feel better in my mouth when I say them. Certain phonemes are more comfortable to say, and some are actually physically painful because of how they feel. I don't know how to explain it more clearly than that, sorry. With apaprently, though, I can pronounce it the actual correct way aloud, but when I'm typing it I have to spell it apaprently. It could possibly be a psychosomatic thing, but it's still anxiety inducing and I don't want to go through the process of desensitizing myself to something again, at least not for something so trivial.

I think you are trying to act normal too much. We are not normal. So why should you act like you are.

Because, for one, I've never genuinely allowed myself to be entirely "me", so I don't really know who that is anymore, and for two, I'm mostly comfortable with it. It's not like I'm faking an entirely other person, just editing myself a bit. I'm more 'socially acceptable' this way, and thus have more friends, and hurt fewer people. For three, I've been working so hard at it for the past few years that it's become fairly easy, most of the time, though there are a few skills that I've not been able to pick up no matter how hard I've tried. Also, I'm not trying to act normal, per se, I'm still "weird", and eccentric, but I'm more aware of what might hurt someone's feelings and how to phrase things in a better way. I suppose one way to explain it would be I'm minimizing the negative behavior traits of my Asperger's and keeping the neutral and more positive ones.

Because, for one, I've never genuinely allowed myself to be entirely "me", so I don't really know who that is anymore, and for two, I'm mostly comfortable with it. It's not like I'm faking an entirely other person, just editing myself a bit. I'm more 'socially acceptable' this way, and thus have more friends, and hurt fewer people. For three, I've been working so hard at it for the past few years that it's become fairly easy, most of the time, though there are a few skills that I've not been able to pick up no matter how hard I've tried. Also, I'm not trying to act normal, per se, I'm still "weird", and eccentric, but I'm more aware of what might hurt someone's feelings and how to phrase things in a better way. I suppose one way to explain it would be I'm minimizing the negative behavior traits of my Asperger's and keeping the neutral and more positive ones.

I'm having the same problem getting a diagnosis as well. I am still trying to work on it though. Do not give up!

That is utterly fascinating and makes a TON of sense. Am I correct in assuming this is due to how women are trained and raised in society? Meaning they are raised and trained to be more emotional/open about emotions and learn a lot of social scripts anyway for lots of different situations, while it's socially acceptable/expected for men to be more withdrawn, less open, and more "rugged" denoting less training and scripts to deal with similar situations?

Some people think it's more genetic, but yes. There's an enormous amount of social guiding and providing scripts that goes on. And more socially acceptable for women to be dependent, asking for and accepting scripts.

There's a cost, though, to the high value placed on being social when you're female. To fail socially as a female elicits guidance, but also an extreme disapproval.

I think the common mistake people think about when it comes to autism spectrum disorders is that you have to have crap social skills. It's not as if they can't be learned. I didn't really learn most of what I know today socially until age 20. In middle school, I was god awful.