Why early detection is so critical

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I wish I was never diagnosed. I had suicidal thoughts at twelve because I was diagnosed. If ADHD had as much support as autism, I would have been diagnosed with ADHD instead. My mom pushed for a diagnosis because she lived with undiagnosed dyslexia, but now she realizes that she only made it through school because she was undiagnosed.

For me it would have been best to have been diagnosed as early as possible, because of my learning problems and poor social integration. Ignoring it hasn't got me anywhere.

What happens when the individual still can't fit in, should they beat themselves up over not trying hard enough to learn to act more NT? perhaps people like to assume its just an 'excuse' but maybe some of us can't 'learn' these NT type interpersonal skills I wasn't diagnosed till 23....but yeah even stuff I was able to pick up on at an intellectual level still is largely impossible for me to implement in actual interactions. So I think one should be careful about dismissing 'autism causing one not to fit in' as a mere excuse to not try harder. I just hate this whole mentality people seem to have of 'oh so you have a neurological condition...well tough don't acknowledge the difficulties it gives you or things it might prevent you from doing or you're making excuses and should try harder'. Also In therapy I remember the therapist recommending I should try to initiate interaction...well aside from the fact I simply can't bring myself to walk up to someone I don't know and start talking to them I was kind of an outcast and probably would have been rejected before I opened my mouth to say anything.

It's ironic, I sometimes get "you should try harder to put yourself out there, you do fine!"

Yes, I do fine with a kind person right there with me, cuing me what to do.

A lot of nice people underestimate what they do to support me in a social conversation.

And for our kids, good intervention is wonderful and can make them feel supported and understood and enhance their willingness and their ability to communicate. So they don't have to feel such a complete outcast.

Bad intervention makes them feel and function worse because it emphasizes what they can't do rather than building on what they can.

We aren't all the same, intervention isn't all the same. Early detection and great providers and an understanding school don't make life beautiful, we do. Or don't. I say this as someone who does not see her school years as terrible, but I know also that the reality of what it was like sounds a little horrifying. So I tell myself those were the exceptions and mostly it was difficult, many things were my fault, people tried, and it made me stronger. When I have flashbacks to things (physical and sexual attacks during the school day) that made me feel bad from entering a school building, I look for what is good and different and better about schools then when I was a child. And I know that labels help identify who is vulnerable and needs to be watched out for, because he or she cannot speak up nor run nor tell. Labels can be used to protect as well as to harm.

I know for some people, diagnosis is bad, labels are bad, schools do bad things. I've been through all of that myself and for both my children.

But if I am ever to have any existence as accepted in the world, I have to blame something besides labels and schools, or not blame at all. The things that were done to me, were done to me by people. When a blind eye was turned by adults, or other adults, that was done by people, too. When someone reached out with compassion that was done by a person as well.

It isn't the early detection that is critical, nor is that alone what has reached any of us.

It is the acceptance of our existence and reality by whoever was enough of a person themself that allows a baby, child, or adult to live and to want to live and to grow.

And it is the denial of our existence or right to exist that makes us hate ourselves and crave not to exist any longer.

yeah most of the problem is how people treat those with the label, but I think there are also identity issues to consider, for some the label might be a big and definite thing that they suddenly have to incorporate.

I agree. I would never have been without the freedom of not knowing that I enjoyed my first 31 years.


definitely!!

No. Society should accept that everybody is not NT, and that some cannot even act as NT. Besides, I learnt most of my NT acting skills in my 40s, so it is never to late. Will people that cannot learn NT skills in their 20s, and instead are labeled as autistic, ever try to learn this in their 30s or 40s? I doubt it. The label becomes an excuse for not ever being able to learn and for stop trying.

its not an excuse, i think this sort of thinking is what keeps people from seeking help. I wish I had gotten help earlier because it would have saved me tons of frustration and heartache. I plan to try my best to overcome my challenges from here on out. Im just saying its alot easier for a child to adapt and change their ways and its easier for adults to encourage and mold them into a productive citizen. At 23 I'm way behind... And the chances of me having a somewhat normal fulfilling life are decreasing everyday. This is why I wish parents with young children who are "different" would strive to help their child as best as they can.

its not an excuse, i think this sort of thinking is what keeps people from seeking help. I wish I had gotten help earlier because it would have saved me tons of frustration and heartache. I plan to try my best to overcome my challenges from here on out. Im just saying its alot easier for a child to adapt and change their ways and its easier for adults to encourage and mold them into a productive citizen. At 23 I'm way behind... And the chances of me having a somewhat normal fulfilling life are decreasing everyday. This is why I wish parents with young children who are "different" would strive to help their child as best as they can.

I'm way behind where a lot of other women in their 40's are too. I reckon I'm at the stage of someone in their late teens or early 20's.

Sometimes I do get a bit down about it but I'm proud of myself though.

Well I feel if I haven't been able to learn it at the age of 24, with plenty of time to do so not even knowing I had autism... so I don't think its going to be more likely when I turn 30 or 40. Also how would it benefit me? Its hard enough trying to come off as being in an ok or content mood when feeling like crap due to my other issues, don't think i could handle the stress of trying to act like a neurotypical. Also though how would one benefit from acting like something they're not?

In fact I am not even entirely sure what exactly a typical 24 year old neurotypical female would look like...Also though there are plenty of things I make an effort to learn and try to do, but acting neurotypical isn't exactly on my to do list, especially since its never worked.

may I ask why you feel like you are behind women your age? What is it they can do and can have that you can't?
I feel like I am behind girls my age too, but at the same time I wonder why I would have to be driving, searching for sexual partners, being independent and confident, having clothes style etc. Why is it if I don't do those things they perceive me as behind or childlike? It's a little weird there has to be that linear script on how to live.

The profound ignorance and ableism from those talking about "using it as an excuse" is pretty terrible.

Just because some of y'all turned out able to live independently without a diagnosis does not mean that the lack of a diagnosis is the reason for this, nor does it mean that a diagnosis would have prevented it.

You can attribute personal success to anything you want, but generalizing your anecdotes to statistical significance is a complete logic failure.

This is complete nonsense. Not whether or not one can learn skills (that depends on the person), but the attitude that the label leads inevitably to making excuses to not being able to learn and to stop trying. That's just moral judgment and is basically how ableist society views and treats disabled people in general. You've clearly learned that particular "NT skill" quite well.

So does this guy - who was diagnosed early - live a life of social welfare?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c6-PwVuYy2Y[/youtube]

Also, there's nothing wrong with receiving social welfare. Many people need it. Treating it as a personal failure is one of the reasons that people who are on it are judged so harshly, when the fact is that without it they wouldn't do all the things you think they should be doing, and can easily end up homeless or dead at an early age.

I think it's just the way I feel inside. Also I have only really been properly responsible for myself in the last 5 or 6 years.

I am an adult but I'm still learning too.

Early detection would be very good providing that the parents are able and willing to work with the kid to help them overcome and adapt to the difficulties they will encounter in life. They cannot be made into an NT but at least they can learn to function better in the NT world that they'll be living in. On the other hand, having the wrong parents early detection could be to the kid's detriment. By that I mean if the parents make only a token effort to work with the kid but eventually give up and relegate them to a life of mediocrity.