How often do you have meltdowns?

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I have little ones on and off. One two weeks ago where I completely annihilated the person with logic until they just quit because they realized they were looking foolish (instead of just being foolish). Before that, I was reaching maximum capacity where my processor was just overloaded by their emotional and illogical response which they were trying to mask as logic (logical, to the point questions quickly revealed it was nothing more than an NT social trick). When I was on the verge of telling my boss I was quiting because I wasn't dealing with this nonsense one second longer (it just exhausts me and I really don't care what the reason is because it's some stupid social game I could care less about anyway), the woman folded and the stress went away. But, I was reaching my limit there pretty quickly.

The biggest one I had was when I lost my father, then my closest aunt within eight months of each other. I just shut down totally. After I lost my dad, I just stopped everything, including work. All I wanted to do was write my own fiction. I didn't have enough left for anyone else, even work. It was pretty bad because two days before he died, I started a new job where they made me a manager (so it was no loss because that's all dealing with people). Anyway, I shut down. I left the manager job and the head of a consulting firm I've worked with found me my current job and helped me through part of it. They know about my need for isolation and silence. They also know how to sell my skills and not me (big help!). But, I went into another downward spiral when my aunt died. I did manage to keep work because it's a relief to me to come here and forget, but it was hard. I had zero left when I left work. I cut off all contact with everyone but my husband and I kept him pretty isolated from me.

I guess the good thing, if there is such a thing, is that I know myself. If I avoid everyone completely (that means no contact at all), I will come out of it eventually. I know it hurts people, but I just can't. There's nothing left to give when that happens to me. If I try to be around them, I will get frustrated and rip them verbally. I get nasty when I'm confronted in that state. I really just have to plug into my own head and complete silence until I recharge. This time took about a year and a half. I find doing that much better than taking pharmaceuticals. I don't like those and most of them have an opposite effect on me anyway, so they are unhelpful. Recharging is a better solution for me.

when something totally surprises me... or when things are too loud, too bright, or when microphones send out feedback from the speakers. When people touch me, poke me, prod me, pull me, or link arms with me....etc with the touching.

I don't completely freak unless I just can't deal with it all. If people touch me, I jerk away. If someone continues contact after I jerk, then I go into freakout mode. lol

there's more, but it doesn't happen all that often.. maybe once or twice a month or so...depends on the situation

~AG89~

What exactly is a meltdown? What does it feel like to have one? From what I understand, it's basically experiencing strong emotions as a result of excess stress or stimuli. If that's the case, it happens to me pretty rarely, but I had one about two weeks ago? There was this party at my dad's house and I went because my dad said it was "important to [him] and [his wife]" and I'd forgotten how badly I hate those f*****g things. There were a bunch of people there (mostly Brazilian, which means LOUD and HAPPY and DRUNK and DANCING and TALKING and YELLING, and they like to stand in close spaces, such as doorways and hallways, and have sex in the bathroom when I have to pee). Anyways, I spent most of the night in my old room, wanting to go down there, break the dj's turntables, and scream at all of them to get the f**k out of my house. Eventually I just took a walk and smoked a cigarette, came back at 2:15 and the beer was gone, so they were gone about an hour later. I was in a bad f*****g mood for like 4 days after that, then I took some 5-htp so I would probably have stayed in the bad mood for even longer.

i seem to have them more around my family.

I don't call it it a 'meltdown', but the last time I got REALLY pissed off was last year.

Depends if I've been into a agurement.