Empathy and Emotional Memory

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I totally agree with the idea that meds shouldn't be messed around with - I really wish I didn't need them, but without them I get VERY depressed, to the point of almost being psychotic . . . I've mentioned the person I like to be around who has such severe ADD and the change in him since he started taking Strattera is just amazing . . .

But I'm also very concerned about the fact that Dr.s put people on Prozac and similar meds like it is no big deal - when I took Welbutrin for two days I got more sucidal than I've ever been and literally didn't kill myself because one of the people I like to be around (the same one with the ADD, actually) happened to pick up his phone when I called him . . . when I told my psychiatrist he just said 'oh, so that isn't the right med for you . . .' like it was no big deal - I tried other meds that made me so dizzy I couldn't drive (at the time I had an 80 mile a day commute) and got a similar response . . .
Also, by the way, for you adults out there - if you have ever been on any kind of psychiatric medication and you try to get private health insurance - well, don't even try - they WILL NOT cover you no matter what you say . . .

Meds also aren't a cureall, but they put us with AS in an interesting situation - when I am on meds I feel better but am still fully capibable of getting VERY depressed and having meltdowns - they just take the edge off and make these things less likely . . . the supposed solution to this problem is to add talk therapy to the list - I see no point in talk therapy - except to maybe discuss mutual interests like criminology or something . . . usually I just end up complaining about my family and it doesn't help anything . . . I've read that this is an AS trait - that it is caused by the lack of connection with other people . . . which, basically, means that I have to deal with the fact that I'm going to be somewhat misearble for the rest of my life . . . which is a bit unpleasant . . .

Oh the up side to having nearly no sence of taste anymore is that my food bill is extremely low - really, the only thing I enjoy eating are apples and chocolate chip cookies - and there is this one kind of vegan sausage that tastes good . . . so I'm VERY cheap to feed!

I actually think that one of the really great things about my AS diagnosis is that I no longer try so hard to connect with people - sometimes that does still upset me, but now I generally say (to myself) 'Ok - I've had my two hours time to go . . .' but I know now that doesn't make me a bad person . . .

Like I got a new tattoo today (kids on the board, don't get tattoos or piercings because they are expensive and once you get one you can't stop) and for the first time the whole time I was sitting in the chair I was just thinking about how neat it was to be able to express myself this way - I wasn't thinking about what other people would think of it at all anymore because I know I can't explain myself to them at all . . . it is very liberating . . .

Also, today, someone explained to me that most people think in words, not pictures - which was a totally new concept to me . . .