I feel as if I am not present in this world

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i sincerely don't mean to hijack your post; this is more a tangenital musing. but, your post made me think that when i'm in the state you describe.. i have in recent years evolved the strategy of placing a substitute me into the world while i'm out, so to speak. of course, it requires a certain investment in the situation at hand (which is to say i must find the outcome intrinsically valuable or else i won't do it even when i should/need to), and that i'm not yet too far gone to do so.
do other people do this? do you find it helpful? or do you think it's just sort of a clumsy automatic self defense gesture, a response that comes more out of not having any other better response available?

also, i don't mean to contradict those above who have stated that this is a probable result of too little social contact, as i definitely see the truth in that in my own experience as well as my common sense. but i just want to posit from the other side, to put this out there... that overstimulation or "too much" social contact can do this to me as well as too little.

Well, I felt some emotion: Anger that my insurance administer lied about transition-related care being covered.

Even though I am feeling de-motivated today and still kinda outta it, I'm gonna try going to work. If it doesn't work, then I have FMLA to fall back on, courtesy of my therapist.

Well, I am here at work.

Well, I'm here doing work, as full of fog as my head may be. It appears, however, that a co-worker is about to leave me some of her work.

I see my therapist again tomorrow.

Well, I left after 3 hours. It was starting to crazy and my head was spinning. Inbound sales calls were queuing because a supervisor insisted on keeping his team in some meeting; I kept saying, we need to get these people back on the phones, but those calls were getting ignored. So one to the supervisor for several potential missed sales to our competitors. Then a co-worker, who so kindly agreed to stay, was handling queuing in other departments and we were having to make all sorts of changes to get help from other departments etc. I was going to take over by myself at 5 PM, but my head was already spinning. So I knew my co-worker could handle this better and I took leave of absence.

NT people tend to thrive on almost any company they can get. Of course they have their preferences, but rather some company than no company at all, it seems.

That is often not the case for people with AS. They thrive on company with people they like, and feel worse having company by somebody they do not like. So good company is better than no company, but bad company is worse than no company.

At least, that is how I feel.

I wonder, as I take so much time off from work, am I just a lazy bum?

Well, 2 weeks in for the pre-authorization. Dr. Bowers's office says they will take 30 days total to even submit the paperwork to the insurance company--they say they have a backlog. This wait is what is partially driving me mad, so I will call today to ask for status update.

Saw my therapist; he thinks I might need a medication change for signs of depression. He's sending a fax to my psychiatrist.

let us know how it goes. also if your symptoms get worse/continue but change. there are a few things that leap to mind to me but don't want to venture into guessing. dissociation was my first thought as already posted herein. however certainly not the only explanation. glad you have a professional involved, but please do keep us informed.

I'm here at work, trucking it through, doing alright (things aren't crazy like they were yesterday).

I'm by myself, but not a whole lot going on. I still have a sense of being in lala-land, however. Just waiting to finish my sentence so I can go home, take some Benadryl, and go to sleep.

With some fires to put out toward the end of the night, it's like I'm back to my usual present self! That felt good!