Noetic wrote:
There isn't a single thing in your post that ADD and social anxiety don't already explain more than sufficiently. But how you see and describe yourself and how others see you, plus how you actually act, may well be different.
WOW. Thank you everybody who took the time to respond...
Anyway,
Noetic, I think you were right! I actually went back and reviewed the different types of ADHD. I have ADD (no "H" or hyperactivity). That's more common in females. It basically fits me to a T... When I was first diagnosed with ADD, I was never told of the sub types, just that I had it and I needed to take medication. It actually shares some of the social characteristics with AS, which is why I was more confused. I've read some things saying they could possibly be related....studies looking at areas of the brain that were similar in those who had AS compared with those who had ADHD. Pretty interesting.
I'm just going to put this next part. I'm not trying to ramble, but maybe it could help someone out.
ADHD and the Acquisition of Social Skills
Social skills are generally acquired through incidental learning: watching people, copying the behavior of others, practicing, and getting feedback. Most people start this process during early childhood. Social skills are practiced and honed by "playing grown-up" and through other childhood activities. The finer points of social interactions are sharpened by observation and peer feedback.
Children with ADHD often miss these details. They may pick up bits and pieces of what is appropriate but lack an overall view of social expectations. Unfortunately, as adults, they often realize "something" is missing but are never quite sure what that "something" may be.
Social acceptance can be viewed as a spiral going up or down. Individuals who exhibit appropriate social skills are rewarded with more acceptance from those with whom they interact and are encouraged to develop even better social skills.
For those with ADHD, the spiral often goes downward. Their lack of social skills leads to peer rejection, which then limits opportunities to learn social skills, which leads to more rejection, and so on. Social punishment includes rejection, avoidance, and other, less subtle means of exhibiting one's disapproval towards another person.
It is important to note that
people do not often let the offending individual know the nature of the social violation. Pointing out that a social skill error is being committed is often considered socially inappropriate.
Thus, people are often left on their own to try to improve their social skills without understanding exactly what areas need improvement.
(It's not letting me post a link so I have to break this up:
www . help4adhd . org/en/living/relandsoc/wwk15)
This coupled with years of physical, mental, and emotional abuse is what I think defines my issues. I've been seeing a therapist for a few months now (to work on anxiety) and she was saying how I internalize the traumas of childhood, where as my sister externalizes her problems. I'm also INFP (have taken the MBTI a million times--different versions too--and always got the same result) which is a factor in my quieter personality and internalization of emotions. (My sister is an ENFP. So that explains hers.) I have also taken the Aspie Quiz and always come out as Neurotypical (I have taken it maybe 30 times over a couple years, reflecting/focusing on different periods of my life when taking each one. I.e. reflecting on middle school for one, high school for another, elementary for another, present for another, etc.). My Aspie range has actually been a range of 68-84, my Neurotypical has been in around from around 130-144.
So yeah. I guess that's it, then. Thank you to everyone for responding. I really hope this info can help someone else who is struggling with her/his internal identity.
17 Apr 2014, 8:29 pm
