Does anyone else find that they don't miss people?

Post Reply New Topic

I can miss people, but it's something I try not to do. I just prefer not to think about it. I don't like to be sad, y'know?

I really don't miss anyone. The only person I EVER missed was my father as we were very close. He and I understood each other very well. Thought alike, etc. In retrospect I think he was also on the spectrum. In fact I am quite sure of it (as sure as I can be) and my mother thinks the same. But now after 17 years not so much even him. As for anyone else, I don't miss them at all. I had my ex ask me if I ever missed her and I said "no". She looked kinda devastated. Come to think of it haven't heard from her since (not a bad thing either!)

As for pets I have lost, I miss my dogs quite a lot. It may sound strange but I have been much closer to most of my pets then I have ever been to other people. Anyone else like this?

When someone I love die I miss them terribly, even decades later I can feel it at times.


If someone I love isn't in my life for a time, then I do miss them. When my mother was away for 3 weeks I got lonely and I missed her. When I'm not in touch with loved ones for a while, I miss them. Say about 4-5 days and I will start missing them. More than a week and I start feeling lonely. It's only with loved ones though, and if the reason that they're not with me is that I am on vacation, chances are I'll be too busy to think much of them. Only once did I miss someone when I was on vacation without them, and it wasn't all the time, it was in the down time.

I can miss people. When I do it's intense. And sometimes hard to recognize or know what to do about.

YES!! aside from my husband, who I am sexually attracted to do I miss him for a different reason.

My parents and siblings are so offended and are taking it REALLY POORLY, and I myself feel extremely guilty, about the fact that I just don't miss them at all since I moved out.

They call me rude, selfish, ungrateful... All these things. Which make me feel even worse because yes, I'm grateful they did a lot for me, but I just don't feel any compulsion to show it. Not do I know when and how it is appropriate to. I hope they didn't take it so personally.

Exact same thing goes for my best friends from my hometown I moved away from. They're taking it a bit better though. I am not a touchy feely person.

a lot of people reject and abandon me in life, or simply die.

like my mom, who left, my friends who left, some died too, my Grandmother who died, my other grandmother who i never met and then died, my pets who died

miss them all, i dont like it when this change

My wife used to say that she had 'missed me all day' while she was at work and asked did I miss her? I used to say that I was thinking about work while I was at work, not home. I think that used to confuse her and probably upset her a bit too.

For me, as long as I know that that person is still going to be available in the context that they fit into in my mind then I don't miss them. That doesn't mean that I have to see them either though. For example, in recent years I've really connected with my Dad, when we talk on the phone we really seem to understand each other, especially since my diagnosis. However, I can go months without speaking to him and it doesn't bother me at all.

That said, if I tried to call him and he wasn't there or something bad happened to him, that would require me to alter my perception of the world and that would cause a feeling I equate with 'missing' someone although it's probably more like a feeling of loss than what most people call 'missing'.

I hate missing people.

That's why I try not to get close to people.

Yeah., that intensity of deeply missing them is what I think I refer to as separation anxiety because it's like I don't know what to do. It becomes confusing and can really affect my ability to function very much. I am glad it only happens with very few people. Otherwise I would be a complete and total basket case.

The same happened to me as well. My wife would ask me the question and I would respond, “No, I was thinking about work”. In most situations, I am very focused on what I am doing (and my mind does not have time to wander).



When I was young, I had a hard time making friends. The only friends I had were kids who lived on my street (basically, within 2 minutes walking distance of the house). As time went by, some of the kids moved away. And, I missed them. For several reasons. First, because I didn’t know how to make new friends (who didn’t live on my street). Second, because spending time with these kids was part of my routine. Once I learned that people could move away, I learned to not get close to people (as it disrupts that routine).

Interestingly, after thinking about it a bit, I tend to miss my routines (and those things that enable those routines) more than people. Fortunately, missing routines rarely happens. It could happen when I go out of town (as that disrupts my routines). Or, I need to show up for a family event (as that could disrupt my routines). Or, it could happen if something breaks to disrupt that routine (e.g. if my computer broke and I was no longer able to play Spider Solitaire).

One of the reasons I thought I might have some personality disorder (as opposed to a development disorder) was due to this tendency to avoid attachment with people.

This actually happens to me too. There's really only one or two people I'd miss if I haven't seen them for more than a week.
One time a month or two ago, I was going home to hang out with my best friend. Apparently she had to go to do something with her sister and didn't tell me. When I got home and saw that she wasn't there, I got frustrated, anxious, sad and confused. My mind was in a fog for a while and I just paced around the house wondering where she was and if\when she'd come back that night. I suddenly missed her very very much and couldn't wait to see her when I finally heard from her and she said she'd be back that night.

^^This!! !! So much easier not to get hurt this way. Kind of a defense mechanism I think at least for me.

Its rarely that I miss someone. I dont miss my father, my dead mother or any relatives. I've never though why this is the case.
I tend to make new friends easy, not sure how, but they always comes to me. But I do always loose them because I never contact them.

Yay, I'm glad to find this thread, I thought it was just me! I don't really miss people, for me it's like a switch that turns off when someone is gone. I just disconnect.

I have had several quite good friends that I have lost contact with, and very occasionally I remember them, but usually once someone is gone from my life I don't think about it much at all.

If my husband is away (he only ever goes away for less than a week) I don't miss him, I just enjoy having the place to myself. Maybe it would be different if he was away for a few months, but I suspect not. As long as I know he is coming back, I just get on with things in the meantime.

The only people I have ever missed have been my family, but it takes a really long time for that to kick in - it's usually two or three years before I feel it enough to go back to visit (I live overseas).

It has taken me a really long time to get over the loss of my pets though. I suppose because I have a really hard time connecting with people I am much more emotionally invested in animals.

I don't think I've ever been close enough with someone to miss them when they move away or move on

I haven't seen my parents (ages 78/83) in 6+ years even though they live 35 miles away (I hate driving)

We talk 2-3 times a year. I won't miss them when the die because I was never close to them

I don't miss my son since he left for college in Sept 2007. I haven't seen him in 6 months. But we do talk.

With my son, I like knowing what is going on in his life more than I miss his physical presence in the house.

I was married once and lived with 2 other men at various. After we broke up, I never spoke to any of them again or had any other type of contact with them.

I miss people. I tend to be stronger about it then most but I do have moments where I deeply wish certain people were still around. ex girlfriends, old friends, people in my life who have passed away, etc. Again, though, I feel like I am able to deal with these feelings better than most so there is a correlation.

I do have a GREAT deal of empathy towards others. So much that I care more about people than myself. I would be more upset knowing my grandmother had a painful death when she died of cancer than about how I personally feel about my missing her. I think its important to distinct missing someone and empathy to avoid AS people being judged wrongly by NTs. I keep reading that AS people have no empathy and as an AS person, I must say this is SOOO far from the actually truth. This thread can easily lead a NT reading it in the wrong direction of analysis, leading them to conclude AS people have no empathy. Not the case.