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Why dont you make eye contact?
Its hard to listen to what a person says and look at them at the same time 17%  17%  [ 33 ]
Its hard to listen to what a person says and look at them at the same time 20%  20%  [ 39 ]
I forget to even look at people when talking to hem . 4%  4%  [ 8 ]
I forget to even look at people when talking to hem . 7%  7%  [ 13 ]
It puts a lot of pressure on me and it causes an anxiety attack 7%  7%  [ 13 ]
It puts a lot of pressure on me and it causes an anxiety attack 9%  9%  [ 17 ]
it just doesn't feel natural 14%  14%  [ 28 ]
it just doesn't feel natural 20%  20%  [ 39 ]
I make perfect Eye Contact, not too much and not too little 1%  1%  [ 2 ]
I make perfect Eye Contact, not too much and not too little 3%  3%  [ 5 ]
Total votes : 197

Niche99
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07 May 2014, 1:46 am

It's hard for me to make eye contact because It feels unnatural and I have difficulty in recognising their emotions
my mom said that a person can tell what other people emotions are by just looking at their eyes, but I can't
so whenever I look at people, I have trouble recognising what their feelings are or what they're thinking
and sometimes it scares me not knowing, so I don't want to look at them

I can look at people in their eyes but after a second or so, I would look away and look at the ground or something behind the person

(I can only tell what their emotions are if its overwhelming e.g. eyes got big, red face, yelling, wild gestures, which could mean angry)

However, there are times when I would just stare at people for quite a long time while they're not looking at me, but once they do, I would snap out of my trance and look somewhere else



Webalina
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07 May 2014, 2:10 am

Eye contact just flat weirds me out. I don't know any other way to put it. Per another poster's comment, I can look at people's eyes if they are looking elsewhere, but it's almost impossible for me when they are looking at me as well. It must be an intimacy thing, because I don't have as big a problem with eye contact when I'm looking at someone I'm close to - a boyfriend, a good friend, my mom. Where I have the most problem is locking eyes with a man I'm sexually interested in. I just can't do it. That's probably the reason why my love life has been so spotty. They say "the eyes are the windows to the soul", and I guess I'm not letting anyone see into my soul.


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Klowglas
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07 May 2014, 3:06 am

Eye-contact has always felt extremely intimate to me, so the third option. I can't make eye contact with a person unless I really trust and love them.



Stannis
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07 May 2014, 3:28 am

-Hard to concentrate
-Hard to think about what I'm going to say.
-I don't have a lot of power over what my eyes convey. In social hierarchical relationships perception is reality, and since I often get a large adrenaline rush during social interaction, my face conveys things I don't want it to, and their facial responses just make it worse. It levels the playing field if I take away most of the facial data. It is a huge relief when you meet people who are above using social interaction as a means of establishing social hierarchies, and you don't have to bother about this nonsense. The general petty mindedness of this species relegates most of us to wasting most of our energies playing games that are more suitable for chimpanzees.



Last edited by Stannis on 07 May 2014, 6:04 am, edited 4 times in total.

KingdomOfRats
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07 May 2014, 4:10 am

cant really vote as circumstances are complex.
am able to give skitty eye contact because have not been able to see eyes ever since starting on anti pyschotics some years ago-am not sure if its because am visualy not able to see them,or if am technicaly seeing them but cannot process the visual input.


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Jacoby
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07 May 2014, 5:23 am

I dunno, probably all of the above. At this point, I don't even think about it.



Pepe
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07 May 2014, 6:38 am

I stare at people...
There was no "stare" option...
I generally control this tendency...most times...

I find people fascinating...



micfranklin
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07 May 2014, 7:45 am

Too much eye contact freaks me out a bit, though not to the point of an anxiety attack.



ImAnAspie
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07 May 2014, 8:01 am

I wish I'd never read that darn article about the importance of eye contact. I freak myself out now. It's ruined everything. Sometimes, while talking to someone, it'll pop back in my mind and then I find myself staring at them. Sometimes, their conversation will taper away and we wind up in this weird eye staring, head slightly turning, non-verbal stare and they're looking at me like I'm a freak.

Most of the time, I just look past them or at the floor or change where I'm looking from time to time, only glancing at them occasionally.

I tried looking at their forehead but that's too close for comfort for me.

Ah, who gives a damn. Most of the time, they're talking crap anyway and I've found, if you give a few responses that don't really fit into the conversation, they catch on to the fact that you're not really taking in what they're babbling on about and they end the conversation for you. Squinting intently at them also has the same effect... Combining the 2 ought to be dynamite :)


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Catarina935
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07 May 2014, 8:28 am

For me, having to look at somebody in the eye and, at the same time, listen to what they say is simply "too much information I can't process". I have to concentrate in one of the two things, or else I'm completely unable to follow a normal conversation. :roll:



micfranklin
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07 May 2014, 9:02 am

Having to look to the side or around takes a lot of stress away from me, because I feel like someone is burrowing into my soul.



Heliosphan
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07 May 2014, 11:13 am

It's incredibly uncomfortable unless I know the person well and I'm in a relaxed environment. If there are too many stressors then eye contact is just impossible.



Joe90
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07 May 2014, 11:44 am

I can naturally make normal eye contact with people if it serves a purpose, like greeting and talking to friends/family/colleagues/neighbours/etc, or when I'm at the check-out in a shop or paying a fare on the bus, etc. I have no problem with that.

But I do have major problems with making eye contact when passing strangers in the street. It just doesn't feel natural at all, and if I do make myself look at them it feels forced and then it makes me give off the wrong vibe to them. Each time I try to make friendly eye contact when passing somebody somewhere quiet or intend to smile or say hi or whatever, I get a funny look, where as I have been with others who have made eye contact with a stranger and got a friendly greeting out of it, so it must be something about my look that puts them off, and I have figured out for myself that it is probably because my eye contact with strangers isn't natural and they can sense it. The only people who do say hi or at least smile are people who seem like they have a disability, probably because they see me as a person, instead of noticing all the details of me and turning away, making me feel undignified.


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Last edited by Joe90 on 07 May 2014, 3:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.

ZenDen
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07 May 2014, 11:46 am

When people talk to me they're also using facial expressions to get their conversational point across: A slight smile, a lift of the eyebrow, etc., etc. ( I understand) can change the entire meaning (intent) of what the person is saying. For NTs, this happens fast and naturally.

But when I have to listen to what the person is verbally saying and trying to integrate this with the facial and body language clues (I don't understand) I fail almost immediately, and I'm "out" of the conversation. It's not that I can't "fake" understanding in the hopes I'll be able to catch up with the conversation, but it almost never happens successfully.

At least this is what happens to me.



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07 May 2014, 12:25 pm

I look at people's eyes ~3.85% of the time, and each look is ~180 ms in duration.


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GlennBecksTears
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07 May 2014, 12:26 pm

micfranklin wrote:
I feel like someone is burrowing into my soul.


this.


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