How are you?

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I have a stock reply which goes, "I'm fine thanks but isn't it hot/cold/windy/rainy/ etc." Whatever the weather is just substitute the appropriate prevailing conditions. That deflects the conversation away from the personal and onto the far more acceptable, but irrelevant, social niceties.

I accept this may be an issue if you live in a place where the weather is quite constant, but then I would simply say, "I'm fine thanks, but isn't it hot, what are the chances of a blizzard!?!" Now in Arizona or such like that is unlikely , but you pass it off as a joke and it gives them a chance to say, "Well if you recall a few years ago, now that was a hot one!" etc.

When people ask me "how are you" my standard reply is "marvellous".

Throws them for a loop They're not sure what to think about my response so they either stop asking me "how are you" going forward (which is good) or start asking me more precise questions going forward (which is even better) - such as: "You look happy today - are you enjoying your day?"