Adamantium wrote:
Racist and sexist jokes are not really humor they are ways of promoting racism and sexism with a little bit of social cover. Sometimes they can be a way of diffusing tension around these difficult topics but you can tell this is going on because the person who uses the nasty "joke" this way then does something to explicitly negate it.
Using the word p**** that way is like using the word fa***t to mean despicable. The basic concept that is reinforced every time someone calls someone else a p**** is that women are essentially inferior to men and it's a truly terrible thing to be like a woman. When people use fa***t or gay as a term of abuse they are agreeing with and reinforcing the proposition that homosexuals are essentially inferior and it's terrible and unacceptable to have that orientation.
It is no coincidence that the people who would use these terms that way also use the word rape to express the idea of scoring a decisive victory or suffering a humiliating defeat. The operating concept is that a key part of male superiority is to physically penetrate others. To penetrate is heroic, in that ideology, and to be penetrated is disgusting and contemptible.
The problem is not that you don't get humor but that you see things too clearly. These jokes are part of our civizations nasty supposedly hidden side. Seeing them for what they are is breaking a social convention that demands that we should either go along with the subtext of male supremacy or be quiet and pretend it is not happening.
People are often disgusting and disappointing, but they are under enormous social pressure to conform so going along with this vile stuff may not always indicate that they deeply believe it or support it.
Excellent post.
Also this:
tarantella64 wrote:
RainbowFairy, in many social circles that kind of talk is not acceptable to anyone. In general, the more well-educated women are part of the group, the less jokes involving rape or demeaning talk about women will be acceptable. The more well-educated people period are part of a group, the less you'll hear jokes involving being gay, mentally disabled, or any minority. Do exceptions exist, yeah - there are some professions that place a premium on being an as*hole, so if you're a lawyer or a finance guy, you'll still hear plenty of these things. They're intended to be abusive and aggressive.
When you complain about it, you're complaining about the liberty from respecting other people, this small violence, they've entitled themselves to, and yep, they'll be upset. It's worth speaking up anyway.
The place where I used to work had plenty of joking around, which could sometimes be a bit more verbally aggressive than I was entirely comfortable with, but it was never racist, it was never sexist, and I cannot imagine anyone there
ever using the word "rape" in that way.
This stuff you're describing is not humour, IMO. It's arseholery, and you're right to call it out (if you feel up to it).
15 May 2014, 3:52 pm
