Ever offend people when you dont mean to?

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I accidentally offend people a lot. I usually feel really bad when I do.

Aw come on, AspieOtaku, it looks like you're baiting us. Don't we all unintentionally offend others? I mean, pretty much text book?

Matter of fact, I am probably annoying you right now as you read this.

I have the uncanny ability to instantly offend a group of people just by walking in to the room. I don't have to say a word.

I tend to offend people sometimes even when I don't mean it. The worst part is when either they get angry at you or they talk s**t behind your back due to what you said. Both are terrible.

All the time.

This thread sucks.

OMG, I've experienced the EXACT SAME THING!! ! Do you have any idea why? I've been told TWO things why I offend people----actually, I think a better word, in my case, is "intimidate"----it's because I'm tall ("too tall" I've been told, as I'm 5'11", and female), and also because I have such long hair (butt-length).

In response to the original post: Yep, I offend people all-the-time----without meaning to, of course. The thing that's most interesting to me is that it seems like the very same people who'll come to me and say "Cat, we're asking you cuz we know you'll tell us straight-up" are the ones who get offended when I tell them something "straight-up" about THEMSELVES. Funny, that, huh?

Maybe you've seen this one:

Problems of an Aspie #137

"When someone seems offended by you but you don't understand why."

Happens to me more than I care to admit.

I do it all the time, even with people who KNOW that no offense was meant and it is probably a misunderstanding.

I am trying really, really hard to learn to just stop talking, to memorize the expected and acceptable responses and to not speak at all if I cannot give one of them.

Unfortunately, I have this really sweet therapist who keeps telling me that I'm not that bad and blah-blah-blah. After two years of listening to her s**t, I have developed quite an inflated opinion of myself.

Self-esteem is really not a good thing for an Aspie to have, at least not one who wants to stay married and in contact with her kids. Unfortunately, once you have learned to have some, it is really, really, really hard to unlearn it and go back to remembering that you are a developmentally disabled, socially awkward, subhuman piece of trash and must act accordingly.

Especially when the same people who get mad at you for your missteps and faux pas ALSO get mad at you for not speaking, and for being sad over how you have to see yourself, AND refuse to teach you the right way to do things until you get some self-esteem.

Have I mentioned that I really wish I had a fast, sure, tidy way to kill myself available??

There is a long weekend coming up, and my MIL is retired now. I think Hubby would not have too much trouble taking care of the kids.

All. The. Time.

This is made worse by the fact most adults are too polite to say anything about it so they usually just avoid you without me having the foggiest idea why. For example, one woman at work felt I was bordering on harassment and I had NO IDEA where she could have gotten that idea from. She just stopped talking to me out of the blue one day and I never said anything I wouldn't say to my Grandmother. Thanks to WP, I am *slightly* more aware that I unintentionally offend people. I'm sure that the 6th flake I recently got in dating in a row is no coincidence: sure they are the rude ones for doing that but I must have unintentionally offended at least one without having any idea how.

On this note, the girl I have been crushing on made me so angry I didn't even bother asking her out like I planned. I now realize that she did not intent to be offensive at all. I was at her work (they closed at 8pm but had a event for kids immediately after) and she said in a very serious tone (she was clearly having a bad day) "we are just waiting for you to leave because we can't let kids in the building when adults like you are here". She probably has NO IDEA how shocked and offended I was and if I didn't know about Asperger traits, I would have told her off when I next saw her for making such a borderline defamatory statement. Now I will give her another chance based on what I have learned especially since a coworker of hers told me she is "annoying" to work with (like I can be ). As for how often I do that, I'm not sure but I remember getting in trouble as a kid when I pointed out on a cold day that a obese woman can at least block the windchill effect. I was just pointing out science I didn't realize someone would be offended by that.

I also pissed off a large group of people by pointing out in softball to play women more shallow because they not only have less upper body strength but rarely feel the need to show off and try to hit a home run. As far as I'm concerned, they are the ones with the problem since I only stated a well known biological fact. It's no different from saying men are generally more violent than women as far as I am concerned: not always true but a reasonable generalization.