Ever Have This Interaction with Someone?

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I say the first 3 to my kid. He's 8 and a tad bit spoiled by his mom.

Hi goldfish! I think I get what you are trying to say - that it's not right that Shelden's opinion alone is being automatically considered as valid. Leonard is a human, therefor he has a right to his opinion on the matter also. (I've never seen this show, except for a few clips, but I can picture that scene).

I agree with you sort of. The problem is that their opinions are not about a subject that each of them has equal "ownership" or even equal perspective of. It's about how Shelden feels about his world changing, and how he wants to deal with that. Therefore, his perspective should be listened to. That's not to say that a good friend can't talk to him and help him see different perspectives, but the argument here is that "you are overreacting," isn't helping him see a different perspective, but is just trying to get him to stuff his feelings down his throat and act like nothing is bothering him.

As for this -


Being Autistic means that you often value different things then other people. It's not over reaction, it's different reaction.

Kids hitting is not the same thing as being upset because your home and your (I assume the comic book shop is one of his favorite places) are endangered. Totally different argument. Also, Autistic kids aren't the only ones who want to hit when they are called names.

Don't tell me I'm overreacting... you're the one who's underreacting.

Typically though, I'm in the position of being too calm/stoic on the surface. Supressed reaction...
I can "overreact" depending on the circumstance. Yes, I can be dramatic, behind the stoic demeanor is a huge amount of passion that slips out occasionally. I brainstorm solutions to my problems then take action, additionally, telling me I am "overreacting" is very counterproductive...

What looks like an overreaction isn't always.

I remember the one time I hit another child when I was growing up, it was in response to her provocative words in the moment.

But less than an hour or two earlier, she and two friends had been talking to me in what seemed to me a friendly way....until I woke up on the ground alone.

Looking back, cannot say I overreacted. Those girls probably weren't evil, but there was no adult to set a limit, I lacked the words to do so verbally, and who knows what they'd have done to me or another vulnerable child next if there was no pushback---they had either knocked me unconscious or encouraged me into something where I fell. Then disappeared leaving me unconscious on the ground. And when I returned to the group where the adults were, the one started right in verbally tormenting me. They needed push back of some kind to stop.

Not saying this kind of thing happens much, just that we should be careful assuming we know more than we do why someone acts the way they do.

Actually it is overreacting. I know it and you should realize it too.

Of course, while the feelings are on tick it feels natural and I can't imagine how else I could react because the emotions are too strong to deal with. But once the stage is over I am somehow able to deal with the thing that triggered my breakdown and I do it just fine. I am aware that my emotions in situations like this are just too strong and I am overreacting (emotions are unconscious reactions to a trigger so by creating the emotions my body is overreacting to a situation) and since I realized the pattern I am able to stand changes a little better. I still experience the emotions but I know I am overreacting and once the stage is over I will be able to deal with the situation. The knowledge prevents me from doing something stupid and actually make the meltdown pass faster because it stops the worry thoughts that appear that would otherwise would make the meltdown stronger ("What am I gonna do?", "This is the end of world!", "It is impossible!", "I can't deal with it!" - I destroy them all by a simple "Your emotions make you see the situation much worse than it really is. Stop worrying, it will be fine once you calm down. It always is.").
I know I will be able to deal with it once emotions drop down even if it seem impossible at the moment because I did it many times in the past. It is a pattern that is always true.

People saying one is overreacting directly is almost guaranteed to make things worse. If they offer help implicit in this is the message one can get through this, which is helpful. I see a huge difference though between the two. And I HATE being told I'm overreacting, too.

I react to what my understanding of a situation is. And to my ability to cope with it. No more, no less.

This is exactly what I was trying to get at; Leonard's opinion is not invalid, but it does automatically make Sheldon's invalid; his feelings and reactions are being ignored, and he's not being helped in any way. A response that took Sheldon's point of view into consideration might be something along the lines of, "I know there are a lot of big changes happening right now, and I imagine that feels very overwhelming and alarming, but I think you'll find after a while that they're not really so bad." This gives Leonard the opportunity to point out that he doesn't see the changes as catastrophic, as Sheldon does, but also permits Sheldon his current emotions.

When my mum died and I dipped into depression I was told to snap out of it as my depression was killing them. He really couldn't see what he was saying wrong.

I stopped watching it some years ago, and what you have written here is just an extra reason for no longer watching it.

On one of the most recent episodes

Up to this point I would say that Leonard is actually being supportive for his friend.



Please say that there was no laugh track playing during this scene. I would understand if the writers have let him say that Leonard thinks Sheldon is overreacting. Alto one could presume that with all those years they have lived together Leonard should know by now how Sheldon responds to these kind of situations. Not to mention that Leonard's mother is basically like Sheldon.