"We ret*ds need to stick together."

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Alot of issues here actually.

Did he make a bad choice in wording by saying "us ret*ds"?

Friggin' A!

I woulda punched him out too.

And I think he was motivated less by esprit de corp for fellow autsitics, then he was by fear of leaving his comfort zone, and by fear of the NT world.

He may be envious of your ability to mix with Nts.

Obviously its not either/or you can friends with both kinds of people.
But when it comes to investing energy into making friends- nothing wrong with focusing on NTs - at your stage of life.

It sounds like youve already "given at the office" to the cause of fellow autistics. By that I mean that youve already hung with the folks that society pigenonholed you with when you were a child. So there is nothing wrong , indeed its smarter for you, to make more NT friends. The NT world is the world you you're gonna have to survive in so why not learn to fit it with nts now? I say.

Not saying this applies to everybody. Just you.

I myself am coming at it from the opposite direction.Never knew I was on the autism spectrum until late in life a few years ago. So meeting other aspies is a new thing to me. For me its good to get somewhat involved with the autism community.

Me too.

You are not a ret*d!

Also, be friends with whoever you want.

Maybe I'm just saying it in a way that's too grandiose--I don't mean big-deal advocacy, necessarily, not like you'd make a career of it. I mean, sticking up for each other, supporting each other, helping a friend when they're in trouble. Just knowing what it's like to be autistic, ourselves, makes us better friends to other autistic people, because we have to work less to understand each other.

I agree that it's not a good idea to only be with our own kind. As much as we need other aspies to talk about aspie issues, we can only pick up normal ways (beyond what comes natural to us in different degrees) from NTs, which is just one more reason why I'm glad I was mainstreamed.
I prefer to be in touch with both aspies and NTs, but I am very aware of what everyone is. I think group before I think individual, unless I'm very close with them. Actually then too to some degree.


I disagree completely. There are plenty of people who have been/are willing to talk to me and befriend me who I don't have the slightest interest in whatsoever. I don't owe them anything, no one has the right to be in someone's life, that's privilege for the few. Life's too short to waste on people I don't want in my life. Just because I'm considered a bottom feeder doesn't mean I don't have the right to reject, and I do. There are both personality types and conditions (and heaps of other stuff on case to case basis) that would stop me from wanting anything to do with someone, and often it's just a complete lack of interest. And that's my right.

Apart from 2 friends when I was very young (1 boy, and 1 girl), I've had 2 best friends when I was a teenager, one was NT and one was autistic. I didn't actually chose any of them, it just happened that way, we got along and became best friends. My point is maybe you should just be friends with people you are happy with, whether they are NT or not.

Last edited by Shadi2 on 29 May 2014, 4:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

first off unlike probably many, the title of this didn't offend me. but i'm not saying that makes using the "R word" right.

second i agree with it as in we who fall into the being called "ret*d, spaz, weirdo" etc category need stick together to look out for each other. as the op knows i'm on mostly nt forum and anytime someone with asd or similar posts about problems with it, i always respond.