What we have in common with the LGBT community

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Yeah before I was disqualified from the military(long story: tried to join during senior year of high school, got medically disqualified and this was before I was diagnosed with ASD too) my recruiter said I could be an actor. I mean if I can fake social skills, why can't I fake something else? After all, I'm gonna be the most experienced person in the room, because I'm acting whenever I'm around strangers.

The LGBT rights movement is about 40-50 years ahead of the autistic rights movement.

Examples.
Only a small minority of LGBT want to get rid of their sexuality many Autistics want to be NT.

Most people accept that LGBT sexualities are real many people including Autistics think Autism is fake.

I agree. But I would also say that the autistic/neurodiversity rights movement is making much faster progress than the LGBT rights movement did in its early days.

The autistic/neurodiversity rights movement had its beginnings in the 1990's with the founding of Autism Network International, and then became seriously political with the founding of ASAN in 2006, only 12 years ago.

The LGBT rights movement started in Germany way back in 1897, with the founding of the Scientific Humanitarian Committee, which got wiped out in the Nazi era. The movement then started again in the U.S.A. in the 1950's with the founding of the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis, and started to become a significant political movement in around 1970, following the Stonewall Riot in 1969. Its first major victories, in the 1970's, pertained to the treatment of LGBT people by the psychiatric establishment. Its first significant legal victories did not occur until the 1980's or so.

The autistic rights movement, in alliance with the larger disability rights movement, has already had some impact on both the psychotherapeutic and special education establishments.

One major hurdle that the autistic rights movement will NOT have to contend with is significant opposition from any mainstream religious establishment. In contrast, only the most liberal forms of the major religions do not condemn homosexuality outright.

Some fringe Christian groups do believe that autism is caused by demons and try to cure it via exorcism, but that's only a small fringe as far as I can tell.

Also, according to a strict interpretation of the First Commandment, having an extremely intense interest (in anything other than God) can be considered a form of idolatry. This was actually a problem for me in my early teens, and was one of the factors that prodded me to examine my religious beliefs and then eventually give up Christianity. But I don't think most mainstream Christians would interpret the First Commandment so strictly as to condemn most special interests.

It shouldn't be too hard for a local ASAN chapter, in collaboration with local autism parents' groups, to persuade the larger local churches to offer special sensory-friendly church services with softer and more traditional music, etc. Plenty of people other than just autistics would find such services to be a refreshing change too.

It also shouldn't be too difficult for a local ASAN chapter, in collaboration with local autism parents' groups, to enlist local religious leaders as allies in educating their congregrations about autism.

Currently I would say that the autism rights movement's biggest hurdle, blocking further progress on many other fronts, is getting more of the many autism parents' groups to listen. Much progress has already been made in this regard, but there's still a long way to go. Due to social and executive functioning difficulties intrinsic to autism, the autistic rights movement is simply not going to be able to accomplish very much without plenty of help from NT allies; hence winning the support of the parents' groups is crucial.

The big obstacle to me is the fundamental disagreements as to what autism actually is.

The biggist thing the Autism Rights movement has going for it which the LBGTQA movement did not is technology/social media. It does not require as much non verbal communication skills and one can choose when and with how many people you interact with. That makes sense since autistics and NT’s with significant autistic traits invented many of these tools.

Yeah I honestly think that the internet was the best thing that ever happened for autistic people. I'm not sure how powerful they are, but anti-vaxxers do exist and spread stereotypes and myths about autism.

Just like they claim they have no choice and are a woman trapped in a man's body
We have no choice either, we have no f*****g idea how to talk to other people

Yeah pretty much. We also don't have a choice to experience sensory issues either.

You'd be surprised how many threads I've seen on an LGBT forum I'm a member of about wanting to be straight, hating themselves for being gay or bi, and so on. I've certainly been through that stage in my life, not every LGBT person dislikes themselves for being LGBT...but it is definitely quite common. Especially if they live somewhere that has the death penalty and/or jail time if they are caught or accused of being gay. There's definitely some common ground to be found.

I remember when I first joined here, I couldn't help but notice some similarities in the threads. "If you could take a pill to become straight, would you?" in comparison to "If you could take a pill and become NT, would you?". One of my most notable memories on that forum was the time where this girl wrote about how much she hated being gay, and I knew where she was coming from since I'd been there myself. I replied with my experiences and how I learnt to accept myself, and this helped her. After that she seemed to be in a somewhat better place mentally.

Whilst this is on a fairly anecdotal basis, I would say that a good portion of LGBT individuals struggle to accept themselves. It can be a difficult process, especially if you have preconceived misconceptions about what it means to be LGBT...online spaces certainly helped me. LGBT YouTubers and forums made me feel less alone in the process of trying to understand this part of my identity. The people around me less so. My teachers would make homophobic remarks, and so would the students. I didn't feel safe being honest to people, because I'd seen what could happen if you were, and I'd also experienced it at times.

On holiday I was once badly beaten, gagged on the floor when I wanted to scream for help but instead it just came out as a muffled sound as I unsuccessfully tried not to cry. All because a group of kids had overheard me coming out to a friend. They told me that what I had to say didn't matter (hence the gagging part). I was quite literally silenced, and that abuse stuck with me...admittedly it still sticks with me now to some degree. Whenever I try to come out to someone face to face I feel a sense of hesitancy, a rush of memories hit me all at once...the chants, the physical pain, how completely scared I felt...sometimes I miss my moment to come out because my throat dries up and I freeze.

I remember spilling Mocha everywhere once because I was so nervous coming out to a friend that my hands started shaking. The worst part is that it can feel as though I’ve failed myself if I bail at the last minute, I know that most people I come across will be accepting of me, but I can’t seem to fully shake the anxiety that the bullying has caused. It’s so messed up.

My University has an LGBT club, and I’ve met some of the members so far. I once commented on how for me it’s a lot easier saying (or rather typing) the words “I’m gay” for the first time to someone if you’re doing it online then it is face to face. A significant amount of members knew exactly where I was coming from with this, since most are out but despite this fact tend to find it difficult to say these words and usually dance around it a bit. Mainly due to similar anxieties.




Hmm...well, there’s definitely a good portion of people who enjoy debating the validity of certain sexualities.

Sex Ed/Biology Teacher: Gay people shouldn’t have sex. *Implies kid who asked about healthy same sex relationships in our class is gay and laughs about it*

Old friend: My aunt says that being gay is an invalid immoral choice!

Me: Guess I’ll be avoiding your aunt from now on then.

Old form tutor: Lol bisexuality isn’t real, they’re just greedy.

Me (internally): No. Just No. Stop. You are a physics teacher, please stop commenting on bisexuality when you clearly have a poor misunderstanding of it, and how about you actually teach us something instead?

Random comment on the internet: Being gay is a choice, like picking out what kind of shoes you want to wear.

Me: *Facepalms*

Someone I used to consider a friend but turned out to be a creep: I can fix you, for you see you’re not actually gay you just think you are because you’re broken.

Me (internally): ….WELP, TIME TO END THIS DISCUSSION.

I think you're a brave young woman.

I think you will go places.

Wow that was touching. And while I was never attacked for being on the spectrum, was in hardcore denial mode for years. I could've gotten my diagnosis at 14 instead of 18 if I hadn't and if society hadn't already thrown so many stereotypes and myths at me. That's why I feel the past 4 months have been a lot better for me. I've come to accept who I am instead of fighting it and it's a lot better. The way I tell people I'm autistic is actually fairly similar to how you described coming out as gay. I'm really nervous about telling people and it's a lot easier to do it over text. I'm not sure if my extended family are explicit about it, but I feel that they harbor a certain amount of prejudice about mental health in general and things which are not neuro-typical(ie- autism with me and epilepsy and bi-polar with my mom) so it's always hard to talk to them about it.

I'm gay.

Out to most these days, but I'm straight presenting. My friend Tim told me I'm the straightest gay friend he knows.. I told him I'm only gay when I'm having sex. :p Anyways, just saying it's typically not assumed that I'm gay and so being closeted about it when I want/need to is relatively easy, but the thought processes about it are similar to keeping AS stuff to myself.
I'm out (gay) to friends and family, just not at my current work - because some people are as*holes and I spent most of my free time for year defending myself against some extreme homophobe who couldn't stand working on the same site as me once he knew I was gay and I don't want to go through any of that BS again. Ever. Plus it's construction so there are a few as*holes.. it was different working at a downtown bar where there were 2 other gay guys working there etc - everyone's chill in the restaurant biz.

But I am Not out to very many at all about AS. Somewhat for similar reasons people keep closeted about sexuality.. yes, I don't need people judging me, treating me differently, thinking I'm somehow "lesser," or something. But I also keep it to myself because I don't want any accommodations. I treat my AS and keep my symptoms under control and I work, live, and play in the social world.. I want to make it on my own 2 feet, not because someone gave me a handout. Plus it all just forces me to be ever better at fitting in with people, learning, growing, improving etc. That progress might be hindered otherwise.

Thank you, Kraftie. You've always been a voice of reason to many here, as well as a kind supportive individual.

You're on your own when it comes to spiders and creepy dolls though.



If it wasn't for certain misconceptions/myths, I probably would've accepted that I was gay earlier than I did. But instead I tried to force myself to be someone I wasn't, and I'd keep up this act because I feared what would happen if I didn't. Online spaces helped because they made it easier to put things into perspective, and they made me realise that some of what I had been told were simply myths intended to create fear rather than the truth. Now I can't help but laugh at some of the myths out there for how ridiculous they can be.




Coming out, whether as gay or otherwise, is often a process. In movies it's often presented as the one time big moment, and although it can be...usually it's gradual rather than all at once. Also, congratulations on accepting yourself, I bet that's a relief. Telling close friends and family is usually harder than telling strangers because you have a rapport built up between them, and you worry about how they'll take the news which makes you nervous and want to not do it. However, at the same time you want to know if they'll accept you if they know the entire truth about you, which is an odd feeling because you know that it's only one part of your identity yet it has so much power to change things. I've lost friends due to coming out, which was an odd experience because we got on and then all of a sudden this detail changed their entire view on me. At first this hurt, but then I realised that if such a small detail had the potential to make or break our friendship... then they were never truly friends with me in the first place. They were just friends with who they thought I was.

I think it's easier coming out as an independent adult than it is when you're a child, since you have the power to cut people out of your life more as you get older. To a certain extent anyway. Coming out isn't all bad though, it's actually made me closer to people on some occasions.

Other times it hasn't changed anything, but then there's moments where it changes everything. I think that when people act supportive at first but then turn around and act horrible it's actually more hurtful than when they tell you their feelings right from the start. So, I actually prefer it if someone replies "I'm uncomfortable being friends with a gay person" after coming out to them, rather than having them try to pretend that they are fine with it but they act off around you until they finally let their feelings known.

Completely the opposite here with regards to my sexuality (bisexual) and autism. I’m not very open about my sexuality because there’s no reason for people to know. I don’t know how to go about getting a relationship with any gender, and I don’t set off “gaydars,” and I don’t have a “gaydar” of my own, so it’s irrelevant information.

Autism, on the other hand, is often relevant information. People see that I’m weird, so they might as well know why. Plus, I like educating people on autism and all it entails, good and bad.

I'm pretty out in the open with my ASD. I don't let it define who I am; it's just a part of who I am. I suppose it's the same for the LGBT folks as well.