Are you interested in other people?

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I'm not very interested in other people, but it's not a matter of liking vs disliking them. I just find a degree of detachment and distance to be the spiritual ideal.

This is me as well. I wonder what it is, about our brain functioning, that drives this interest.

It's really difficult for me to imagine why (they find it so interesting).



She is. Thanks for remembering.



I would, if I understand the quote correctly.

It depends on the person. Sometimes they have an interesting life I want to ask questions about it because I am curious. Sometimes something interesting happened to them and it catches my curiosity when they mentioned it so I have to ask.

So, I mentioned something similar to my therapist. Who then proceeded to ask:

So, are you interested in that person as a person? In other words, do you want to get to know that person better as a human being? Or, are you only interested in learning about certain of their unique experiences?

Well... that's how they are built. It's like a sensory organ that they have, that we lack. It's all those facial micro expressions, posture thingys, tone of voice, their whole history and the whole history of the subject that's being discussed, that is going on all the time with them. It's not something we can fake either... it's not like pretending to care, or being sympathetic, or empathetic.

^I don't believe NTs are really interested in each other that way, most of the time. Maybe they are genuinely interested in some friends or family but probably not to the extent they appear to be.

I've known quite a few people who admitted they weren't really interested in people as much as they pretended to be, just wanted to get to know them to the extent they could use them for their own purposes, not in a sociopathic way or cruel way, just as a means of networking or getting to meet other people. In fact there was an NT poster here awhile back who said something like this.

Mostly not interested.When it comes to my son ,I dangle on his every word & movement.I am obsessed with watching him play his guitar,the louder the better.

This tallies with my experience, still, most people are interested in a wider circle than I am, and they especially prefer their 'circle of interest' to be contemporary rather than historical figures.

It's funny. I figured once I began reading those aforementioned biographies (on founding fathers, presidents) that I would have something interesting and compelling to talk to others about. This was before I learned about Aspergers and realized that there was a reason I wasn't connecting with people. I just figured I had nothing interesting to say. And, this would provide me with something interesting to talk about.

The strategy, of course, didn't work. For several reasons:
1. I never figured out how to bring up the topic with others (that I was actually reading these books). I am not certain why, but it seems hard to bring up topics with others.
2. The few instances I did bring it up (with the couple of people I consider friends), they changed the subject almost immediately.
3. Most importantly, my recall of the content of the books was not great (as they contained way too many details to interpret, process and remember). I would have had to read each several times (and take notes) to intelligently discuss them.

And I thought I was cynical!

I ask people a lot of questions which may seem as though I'm interested, and sometimes I am pleasantly surprised.

However, the reason I ask questions is just to take the focus off myself, so i don't have to talk about me.

It's just a little trick I learned along the way.

I know (claim to know).

The aspie brain is meant for solo-survival. You do not need other people for solo-survival, which is why the aspie is not as focused on people as NTs are.

What aspies need is the ability to survive, which requires good leadership skills.

The great analytical mind and high intelligence often seen in aspies is meant to make them good leaders. Not leaders of others, but leaders of themselves.

That is why we are naturally interested in ideas. We need ideas to survive, because we per se don't have anyone to guide us.

Last edited by qawer on 11 Jun 2014, 1:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I believe you can work out how interested you are in other people as follows.

-The extent to which you enjoy reading novels, reveals how interested you are in the inner experiences and feelings and others
-The extent to which you enjoy reading non-ficton reveals how interested you are in other people as a source of information.
-The extent to which you enjoy TV dramas reveals how interested you are in other peoples actions and lives.

I don't understand how you figure that; many, if not most, sorts of non-fiction neither require thinking about others nor do they nurture such an interest. For example, I have on the desk next to me a textbook on the philosophy of logic. I've no interest whatsoever in the author as a person and reading and understanding the text does not require me to even think about the author as a person.

Yes if I really like them. I'd rather they talked whilst I listened actually. Unfortunately people generally prefer a natterbox. I only natterbox when I get excited over something, usually something hobby related.