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Deb1970
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14 Jun 2014, 12:10 pm

I was raised by a mother that lied all the time and a father who did not lie but did think it was okay to just not tell something's. Such as, he won $300 dollars from a lottery ticket and told me he was not giving my mother any of it and he was not going to tell her he had won anything. She never asked, so by not saying anything about it he was not lying. I do lie but I'm not very good at it. People can always tell that I'm lying. For example: I tell people I don't feel well in order to get out of going places with them. A friend wanted to see a movie on a Friday night but I could not tell her I spend every Friday evening watching Mr. Bean. I guess I think I'm not really lying because if I don't watch Mr. Bean on Friday nights I kind of have a little melt down.


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Ann2011
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14 Jun 2014, 12:45 pm

I cannot outright lie - I just can't. I giggle. But I have learned to become extremely manipulative with the truth. For example there is great power in the timing of a revelation of a truth.



CockneyRebel
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14 Jun 2014, 9:14 pm

I have a very hard time lying to people.


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mr_bigmouth_502
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14 Jun 2014, 10:02 pm

Absolutely. Lying and bullshitting comes naturally to them, and it makes sense as it can be seen as sort of a survival mechanism. I was extremely honest as a kid, and I almost never lied as I failed miserably whenever I did. When I got into my teen years and became more rebellious, that's when I started lying more, and at first I was terrible at it, but through time and practice I eventually improved my technique. As much as people don't like to admit it, lying can be a useful skill to know, and like I said earlier on, it can be seen as sort of a survival mechanism.

I'm still an honest person, most of the time, but I try not to let my honesty get the better of me.



Nonperson
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14 Jun 2014, 10:18 pm

I lie very rarely - I mean, probably a few times a year, including "little white lies". I hate lying and furthermore, it just doesn't occur to me to lie when other people do (I was surprised to hear some friends of mine say how they'd been lying to my mother in law about disliking a certain food - why lie about that?)
If I don't want people to know something, I simply won't mention it. I do get the impression that most people lie more than me, simply because I'm so often surprised when I find out what stupid things they lie about.



ZenDen
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15 Jun 2014, 11:33 am

Wow, what a bunch of different replies.

When I grew up I had a hard time understanding what was going on, until
around third grade, so I guess I never learned how to lie. The term Asperger
Syndrome hadn't been coined yet, so I guess I was just considered weird and
annoying and easy to separate from his allowance.

By the time I hit third grade I understood it was "them separate from me forever"
but didn't know why, of course. It was evident to me that all (or most of the
other kids) were liars and I was determined I was not going to be like those nasty
people. So instead I worked on being honest (and of course superior)
to the "nasty ones."

I'm happy I chose the "honesty" path, even if for the wrong reasons. I guess it might
be I'm just a lousy web weaver. :lol:



Al725
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17 Jun 2014, 1:53 am

As a child, I was an honest Abe. Now that I'm grownup, I lie all the time, sometimes just to make what I'm saying sound better. I figured all NTs do this, so why shouldn't I? 8)



Daedelus1138
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17 Jun 2014, 2:58 am

I think its a myth that someone with Asperger's finds it difficult to lie.

I've always been very blunt and I personally view that as something that isn't a bad thing. I'm not particularly skillfull at lying well, that doesn't mean the inclination is any different from any other human being. I don't view most NT's as lying when they just try to be polite, because most of the time people are not genuinely interested in the opinions of others- they are looking for affirmation and validation. Someone who is skilled with communication can both be honest to themselves and at the same time, be polite towards others, in their interactions.

The thing to remember about communication is that it's an art or skill, not a science. It's impossible to communicate perfectly all the time, even for an NT- that's just the nature of communication.



droppy
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17 Jun 2014, 11:17 am

I used to be very honest once and I used to suck at lying. Then I grew up and I started lying, but just on some things. If it is about giving my true opinion about someone, or being honest if I like something or not, I never lie. I lie about situations though.
For example, when people see the cuts on my legs and ask me why I have them I reply by saying that I have bumped into something or injured myself accidentally with some pointed objects. Only two people know the real nature of my cuts.