Feeling uneasy on WP

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I feel a certain level of connection with some members of this board. I don't often PM, because I don't have much to discuss privately, so replying to one of their posts in the forum (occasionally) makes it far easier to express some kind of liking towards them, and allows me to relate to them at least superficially.

I do have a need to maintain equilibrium with viewpoints. For example, if I make a thread about the benefits of being NT, I will need to post at least somewhere the benefits of being autistic. If I have made a thread about the benefits of being NT, that is likely due to someone on the forum having posted the bad things about being NT, which caused the balancing desire to rage within me.

Visiting this site is primarily a learning experience for me. If I can't benefit from a discussion I'm not going to join it, hence why I don't like replying to threads that aren't controversial, or threads that I feel I can't make contributions to.

I open all new threads in General Discussion but only briefly read the OP of most. When a title interests me, I tend to leave it until last and reply to that thread for the same reasons listed here.

I also generally don't reply to threads with more than 3 pages.

Last edited by Norny on 23 Jun 2014, 9:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Sometimes there isn't a good answer.
Sometimes the response desired is unclear.
Sometimes there's no connection of interest for a topic.
Sometimes the repetitive nature of some questions lead to fewer responses.

Try not to take it personally, and remember quality over quantity.

As I said,very grateful.

I think getting few or no responses is the norm actually. It doesn't mean anything though. Few autistics are chatty for being chatty or polite's sake. If people have something to say about something, they might, if not, they will hardly ever post just to post.

But with a lot of people moving thru and many new threads some topics do catch people's interest. Certain threads invite response more then others as well. But certain topics, although interesting, are so regularly recycled that most have already commented and will likely not repeat themselves again.

The only reason it really bothers me is because it seems people respond to other people who've posted before and after me.

I always get anxious when checking my threads in case I've said something someone finds aversive; anger or disapproval directed at me, especially in writing, greatly distress me.

YES. ^^^

I don't think anyone has answered the OP's underlying question - namely - his post may be ignored but another concurrent post in the same thread attracts attention from other posters, therefore is this a sign he (the OP) is getting the cold shoulder?

In my experience my posts often get "selectively" ignored but this could be due to a number of reasons;
- my avatar might make people think I'm weird or unconventional
- my name "cyberdad" might be construed that I'm married with kid/s therefore unable to relate to the plight of single person living alone or with their parents
- I'm an older male so unlikely to have much to say that is of interest for younger females or males to respond to
- my posts focus on one end of the ASD spectrum that most people on WP are not likely to be classified under
- I tend to speak my mind which some people find confronting
- My posts may be (this is just a perception) overly intellectual for many here
- I have posted long paragraphs and this may be too long for those with ADHD who prefer to read shorter posts
- my style of writing may not be easy to read?
- My grammar and punctuation mistakes might irritate those of you here with OCD

Anyway I'm sure I could come up with a few hundred more, but that'll do...

I've noticed that too and I find it odd - makes me a bit uneasy! The thing I like about WP is you can have your say on any topic of interest to you and everyone else can have their say without that 'oh I so agree' and 'we have the same idea shall we get married?' crapola so common elsewhere. I like anonimity, gives me a safe feeling.

And I was just told 'f off' because...I actually don't know.

I'm still shaking and feeling unwell.

Always remember: this is only the Internet!!

Where were you told off?

Forget these people. Sometimes, they just have an axe to grind.

It's been deleted, so it shouldn't (shouldn't) really matter. Basically the poster was arguing with others and just being spiteful, so I tried to reason with them as carefully as possible and that's how they reacted in the end. I have extreme anxiety issues. It took me 10+ minutes just for my heart to stop racing.

They were pleasant/indifferent to me in the past, but I've now lost all respect for that poster. I don't respect anyone who tells someone to '____ off'. I don't think that's how you talk to a sixteen-year-old or anyone for that matter. Grown adults should know better than that.

You honestly can't know what kind of effect that has on someone. It was extremely distressing to me, as I found it quite hateful.

This is why I relate to what StarTrekker said up there.

Last edited by ReticentJaeger on 24 Jun 2014, 9:26 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nobody should curse out anybody, regardless of age.

I'm sorry that this happened to you.

You're a decent person.

I think you've moved passed this.

Where was a very young tennis player named Andrea Jaeger in the 1980s.

Nah. When this happens to me off the internet it takes me a ridiculously long time to get over it.

And I stole the name from a manga/anime character.

Have you any plans for the future yet?

I think you're a fine contributor to the Forum.

If you go to the "Philosophy, Politics, and Religion" section and post something like "Are all Republicans Doo Doo Heads?", or "Are All Liberals Pond Scum?" you will attract a lot of attention.

Why anyone would dignify a thread heading with a title like that by even reading it in the first place- I do not know. But some post threads like that. And many are dumb enough to respond.The threads of that sort usually go on for almost 20 pages.

So if you want that kind of attention then go for it.

Why you would want that kind of attention I do not know.