Frowned upon more in women!

Post Reply New Topic

Like when a guy keeps wanting to "date" a woman...no matter how many times she says no, and she is not being coy or flirtatious in saying no, just flat saying NO I don't want to.

Or in my job, see the long post I made in a new thread today, when I'm busy working and I'm not doing anything whatsoever to be inviting people to talk to me, they keep coming up to me wanting to talk to me. I'm not making eye contact with them, I'm not seeking any kind of conversation with them, a lot of times I have my back turned. And I'm not receptive to it when they start talking to me, I think it's really obvious to them that I'm busy and I'm not interested in chatting, but they persist, and some even ask me why I'm not interested or make a rude comment about it which means they do understand that I'm not. But some people just do not give up no matter what I do and I don't know what it takes to get them to leave me alone.

I recently physically began to leave a conversation, plus also said I was leaving, and also said I was a bit tired etc -- and the person who was chatting with me not only failed to wrap it up and say bye bye, but also embarked on a whole new topic!!

Trying to find and befriend other women around my age with the same special interests as mine is difficult. When I'm on YouTube watching stuff about video games, toys, or Death Battle I wonder if I'm the only female viewer or the only person over 20. If you're not interested in stereotypical female things people label you a tomboy or think you're a lesbian. Although you do tend to be forgiven for such things more than guys liking "girly stuff" only because society still sees guy stuff as being superior to all things female. But no, I'm 40 and apparently there's something incredibly wrong with you if you've never been married, don't have kids, aren't obsessed with your superficial appearance, and would rather go shopping for the latest Monster High dolls than a new pair of shoes.

I thought I read somewhere that men have it easy with looks, but have to be ''tough'', while women have more pressure with looks but it doesn't matter if we're a bit withdrawn. I've met more shy girls in my life than shy boys, and some men quite like shy girls, where as more girls prefer confidence in a man and feel like they are ''protected''.

In most societies women are expected to shave all their legs and armpits, and if we are seen out with legs and armpits covered in hair we will definitely get ridiculed. Men seem to be given the choice to shave, and won't get ridiculed if they decide to grow a beard or go around with hairy legs, and it is even socially acceptable if a man has long hair tied back in a pony-tail. But women are expected to look beautiful, and if you're young you feel compelled by your female peers to wear make-up. At least men don't have to worry about wearing make-up. I overheard a conversation the other day at work between NT women saying about how much quicker it is for a man to get ready for work in the mornings than it is for them. I nearly said ''well nobody says you've GOT to wake up an hour earlier just to sit in front of the mirror putting make-up on and styling your hair religiously'', but then I remembered it's gender pressure they give into, so I knew I'd better keep quiet. I don't wear make-up and I have a plain, easy hairstyle, but at times I do wish I was more motivated to take more of an interest in myself because sometimes I feel some girls might criticise because of not wearing make-up, or might even think I'm a lesbian or something. If I was a man I wouldn't have that worry. I would just pull on a T-shirt and jeans and trainers and know I look good. But if I was a man I bet I would be mocked by male peers if I was as wimpy as I am. I have known a few wimpy men before, and their male peers often yelled ''will you stop being such a girl about it?''

I think everyone has said most of it already.

Women have it easier in a few ways (or anyway used to; I think some of them have gone the way). It USED TO BE more acceptable for a woman to display emotion-- to giggle with happiness or to cry when upset. I think, though, that pseudo-feminism and the idea that men and women should be identical as well as (or rather than) equal have pretty much taken that away.

Certainly in my mother's day, a weeping female child elicited a measure of compassion and a weeping male child elicited scorn. In my day, a weeping female child elicited scorn-- but not as much as a weeping male child. Have we arrived at the hoped-for day when weeping male and female children are approached with equal compassion?? I guess so-- the problem is that it's an equally paltry amount. It seems nowadays, both are greeted with an equal measure of scorn. Scorn, questioning of the competency of the parents who have not yet produced a perfectly adjusted organism, and fear that they're a nascent mass killer.

Women used to be less competitive than men (at least other than during the pubescent to early adult phase of competition for mates). Less competitive sometimes translated to more likely to be tolerant of or even nurturing toward a struggling female. Not anymore-- most women now have the same attitude toward stragglers, strugglers, late bloomers, and et cetera that men do. Namely, that it's the easiest target and therefore the first thing to eliminate. Ditto anyone they are unsure about-- someone most women do not immediately understand is no longer something to be learned about and assessed. It's just a THREAT, and an unknown and therefore highly threatening one.

I don't know if male or female Aspies have it harder in general. I do believe that women tend to be harder on other women-- an AS female will have better luck finding friends among men (certainly my experience-- on a platonic level, I 'get' men better and feel more comfortable with them). And men tend to be harder on men-- most AS guys I have spoken to seem to feel more at ease socializing with women. I guess it's because any "bumps" are likely to be ascribed to acceptable gender differences, rather than deficits of personality.

That works, of course, only until SEX enters the equation. Then it's back to confusion, misunderstanding, 'improperly' filled roles, and frustration, anger, and rejection. Sometimes, even in opposite sex friendships that really are simply friendships, sex STILL enters the equation, because others choose to assume that it must be there and write it in via their assumptions.

Being an irregular polygon sucks, no matter which hole you're trying to squeeze into.

While mutual emotional support is as important in serious relationships as mutual trust, mutual respect and mutual affection, women are still expected to undertake the primary role of emotionally supporting the men in their relationships, even in the absence of any reciprocation.

The Gender Binary has been around since the beginning of man and it's still as strong as it was 30 years ago when I was nine. To expect people to fit the Gender Binary is to expect people to act their gender, whether they're transgendered or not. To expect a trans to act their birth given gender is like throwing them into hell and leaving them there.