Please share the reactions of your family and friends

Page 2 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2

webster
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 19 Aug 2007
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 167
Location: U.K

09 Jul 2014, 1:32 am

This when I first met my ex-girlfriends sister at a restaurant.

Hazel- "So what's this thing you've got then that I've heard about?"

Me- "It's called Aspergers Syndrome it's a brain thingy"

Hazel- "Oh are you sure? Because you don't look like anythings wrong with you? Maybe it's just your personality."

Me- "Ok..."


_________________
"A learned man takes the essence of knowledge from all places, just as a bumblebee
collects honey from each and every flower."


YourMajesty
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Apr 2012
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 807
Location: The forest

09 Jul 2014, 4:39 am

I can't literally recall the words as it was 6 years ago that I got diagnosed. I do remember that my mom said she suspected it for years (I was a pretty eccentric teen, too) and dad was pretty accepting, too. So were my friends.


_________________
Crazy cat lady, unfortunately without the cats.

(not a native speaker)


Tawaki
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Sep 2011
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,439
Location: occupied 313

09 Jul 2014, 6:42 am

Since I was with my husband when he told everyone. .He was 50 at the time.

His mother: flat out denial and anger, but two years later she was diagnosed.
His father: denial and anger. Just an excuse not to *man up*

Now the diagnosis is the elephant in the room. Neither of them talk about it. Their grandson was recently diagnosed. Nothing is wrong with him either. If you just had your life over to Jesus Christ, all these issues would be gone.

His sibling: denial to *that's why you are a weirdo*. He does not a a great relationship with them, as they are holding grudges about his behavior as a child (meltdowns, violent behavior towards them)

My siblings: don't ever bring that up again. It's nothing but an excuse, and let's him get away with murder.

My father: "whatever"...gotta love my dad...

Our daughter: so dad's like Spike (the kid in her class with Asperger's). The sad part is, since Spike doesn't like being around people, DD has really pulled back from the thinking dad doesn't want to be around her. (Not true).

Me: profound relief that his reactions weren't my fault or had anything to do with me.
I got the brunt of *you are making my life a living hell*, because my husband thought everyone had misophonia, meltdowns, sensory issues and I just was being a jerk.

If you don't tell me, I can't read minds. When he was diagnosed, all the maladaptive behavior was peeled away like an onion. These weren't preferences, but survival tricks. Like the misophonia or hating to eat. Never told me any of that, and I have known him for 30 years.

Anyway, the diagnosis saved our marriage, because we both went to counseling.

So yeah, getting diagnosed was a big deal.



JoelFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 May 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 599
Location: In a nerotypical world.

09 Jul 2014, 9:58 am

Here's the reactions that I've heard so far.

Father and brother: ...Ok so that's what you have? So it's not.... (insert outlandish diagnoses here)?

To the one Acquaintance I have "You couldn't have fooled me you seam like a "normal person" tho a little different at times.

My two aunts: (We're) So happy for you that you have this new diagnoses! (we're) proud that you got tested!( they kinda shoveled it on pretty heavily).

Me: "OK great I have Autism maybe I'm not as screw up as a few teachers and past childhood psychologists thought Now I can finally move on in life"


_________________
"I really wish I was less of a thinking man and more of a fool not afraid of rejection." ~ Billy Joel


Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 26,492
Location: UK

09 Jul 2014, 11:48 am

I've never actually told anyone myself that I have Asperger's, and I've never been in a position where somebody I'm related to is telling others I'm related to about it either.

But I know that my cousins were somehow told, because I remember when I was about 10 I was playing a game with one of my cousins who was about 7, where we both were a different person but our real selves were with us, if you know what I mean. Then I said ''ha, Jo is not normal!'' and my cousin said, ''yeah, Jo has got Asperger's Syndrome.'' I didn't expect her to say that, as most NT children don't know about Asperger's and Autism unless they live with someone with it, or know somebody from their class with it, but I know there was nobody in my cousin's class with it, so it was obvious that her mum must have told her about it or something. I wish she didn't though, because I was only mild so everybody didn't need to know, and it didn't really affect the way I played with my cousins, as I was a normal kid in some ways.


_________________
Female


RubyWings91
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2011
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 420
Location: USA

09 Jul 2014, 12:39 pm

The most common reaction amongst my friends when I tell them is along these lines:

Yeah, I already guessed that you had it. I have family/ friends who have it , too.

My parents, when I was diagnosed, were glad to be able to have a word for why I was different so that they could easily look up approaches to help me work with it (It had taken years for them to find the doctor who could figure out what I had and diagnose me). I don't know what my family's reaction was outside of my household, because my dad and mom were the ones who told them.



jetbuilder
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2012
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,172

09 Jul 2014, 2:30 pm

Here are a few reactions I've gotten.

Me- Someone asked me if I have Aspergers. (this is what started it all)
Best Friend- I've thought for years that you might be aspie!
Me- 8O
------------
Me- So I found out that there may be a reason I suck at socializing....
Friend- Oh?
Me- Apparently there may be a possibility that I have Aspergers syndrome...
Friend- Oh, F*** THAT! AS is a fad Dx! I know several aspies and I have to say I disagree wholeheartedly! Just because you're different doesn't mean there's something wrong with you!
-------------
Me- I'm pretty sure I'm on the autism spectrum
Friend- I know that. I've probably known longer than you....
-------------
Me- I think I might have Aspergers syndrome
Brother- What's that?
------------
Me- *explains why I think I have aspergers.
Mom- Everyone feels like that at times.
Me- (frustrated) Maybe, but not everyone have these difficulties ALL THE TIME!


_________________
Standing on the fringes of life... offers a unique perspective. But there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.
---- Stephen Chbosky
ASD Diagnosis on 7-17-14
My Tumblr: http://jetbuilder.tumblr.com/


FishStickNick
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,284
Location: Right here, silly!

11 Jul 2014, 8:50 pm

Reactions I get tend to vary wildly, from "I knew that for a while" and "You're definitely quirky" to "you're just trying to find something wrong with yourself."



Kalika
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2011
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 219

12 Jul 2014, 2:55 pm

I've never actually told anyone that I might have Aspergers, but apparently back when my sister first got the idea that is/was what's "wrong" with me, she discussed it with my mom, and they both agreed that my issues would fit with that diagnosis.



olympiadis
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jun 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,849
Location: Fairview Heights Illinois

12 Jul 2014, 4:39 pm

"I've seen people with autism and you're not like that"

"I think everyone is on the spectrum"

"I will pray for you"

"I think you're disconnected from reality"

"You must be like that guy in the Beautiful Mind movie"

"I think it's hilarious how over-diagnosed autism is"



PerfectlyDarkTails
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Mar 2012
Age: 37
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 797
Location: Wales

12 Jul 2014, 5:17 pm

Total dismissal and bewilderment at the diagnosis the first time.

You don't have it, you think you have it because you've read it up and convinced a psychologist you have it. You know exactly how to answer the tests for the best results. You've only done this to avoid getting a job and deceptively claim benefits you don't deserve.

That's despite a full written assessment and a discussion by the psychologist with my parents. I had to prove myself to an independent medical benefits tribunal to prove I have what I have. The second opinion there sealed that deal with my parents, mostly. They do think I'm clever with words and lie through my back teeth so to speak, despite my total and fullest honesty at every stage.

They don't mention it much now but currently frustrated why I don't do what is expected of a person of my age and have understandable concerns about my childish interests, sexuality, social status and whatever else that is no concern of theirs.


_________________
"When you begin to realize your own existence and break out of the social norm, then others know you have completely lost your mind." -PerfectlyDarkTails

AS 168/200, NT: 20/ 200, AQ=45 EQ=15, SQ=78, IQ=135