Do people like you LESS than you think they do?

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I do feel it's true that people like me less than I think they do, yes. Even when they actually do like me as much I think they do, even that goes down the toilet eventually, as most of my friendships and relationships get into a bad place at some point sooner or later, and die. I have a very small number of friendships and acquaintances that have actually lasted in good standing, but those were with people who seem to "get" me and are probably very similar to me on many levels ("spectrum-like" people themselves).

One friendship that went down in flames, she told me a revelation. I had thought we had a nice friendship and that nothing was wrong. Then we had our first -- and last -- falling out about something that came up; I think it was about helping me move apartments. She went crazy at me, and monologued a total rant at me, telling me what a sh***y friend I am and how difficult I am and how problematic I am. One of the things she said was "You have hurt me a hundred times."

I was clueless. I had HONESTLY thought I'd never said a bad word to this woman ever, or ever done anything to hurt her. In fact, when I met her (she was a near neighbor) I was so glad to have made a friend that I consciously was aware that I didn't want to ever say anything or do anything to lose her. I really liked her and thought I was being a nice and good friend right back at her. I truly believed I hadn't done anything to upset this person during our friendship. I had even done any favor she asked, such as coming with her on a long trip to a vet for one of her pets, when she didn't want to make the drive alone. I'd been supportive and thought I'd given back as much as she had given me as a friend. Then she comes out with "You have hurt me a hundred times."

I realized she'd been getting more and more pissed off at me just for being me, all along, while I had been completely oblivious that anything was wrong.

It's enough to make you just not want to try anymore.

.

I don't really presume that people like me that much to begin with, because I don't see how you can actually like someone if you don't know them, and hardly anyone really knows me. And most of the time I probably never really find out one way or the other, again because I don't get to know people that well.

But in general, I've found out that people like me more than I thought they did, not less. The only times I would encounter the reverse, is if a person was being very phony or two-faced towards me.

Don't know. Don't care.


The closest related thing seems to be the tendency of people to forget about me... because I never managed to rise above being a passing novelty at the fringe of their existence, to rapidly slide into irrelevancy with the passage of time.
Or at least I assume they forget because they just stopped contacting me or having anything to do with me over time.
Everyone.
All of them.


So... whatever.

I'm leaving my old attention-whoring days behind me.

I think for me it goes either way. I have had some people like me much more than I thought or expected they ever could and would and I have had people like me much less than I thought they did as well. So for me it really depends on the person. The people who do like me are extremely loyal and I am to them as well, the others are not.

I think it's that way for most people, autistic or no.

Hi Skibum!

I take it as a given that people don't like me.

They are sometimes curious for a while.
They are sometimes just polite for a while.
But they never want to hang out with me, or just spend time with me.
And when they want me to be with them (because they're lonely or upset); they want me to drive all the way into town and go to a busy place, in order to be with them there.

So back to my original statement: These days I assume that they don't, and won't, like me.