stumped2011 wrote:
It really isn't fair to not do anything but exist and be rejected for it. I've made attempts to educate my mother on Spectrum disorders (especially because I believe I'm not the only one in the family that is possibly afflicted), but she grasps on to the belief that nothing's wrong with me and that I will "grow out" of my differences (I'm in my 20's).
stumped2011 wrote:
I know that, but she just thinks I'm not trying hard enough.
stumped2011 wrote:
When I "came out" to her about having ASD, I started off by listing some common traits and DSMV diagnostic criteria. She agreed with everything and told me that that described me perfectly until I told her what it all meant. Then she was adamant that I am completely "normal", I'm just using this diagnosis to justify not changing my behavior.
stumped2011 wrote:
Though my mother is NT, I believe that she displays many "autistic-like" traits, as do all of my sisters. She knows that my sisters and I are "different" in a clinical sense, but likes to glaze over it.
I have experienced all these things, TOO, and I think there's several things involved, here....
One, I think people think it's a sign of weakness when others have a "mental" defect. If someone is physically disabled because of a spinal cord injury, for example, that's "okay" cuz they didn't cause it to happen, and there's nothing they can do to "get over it".
Two, I think it's highly probable that these people see the same "defects" in themselves, and think: "I got over it / got past it----why can't you?" I actually had a former friend of mine, say this right-out to me!
Thirdly, at the risk of opening Pandora's box....
I think it just might be some kind of racial thing. I obviously don't know the race of the people who have posted on this thread, so I can only speak for myself.....
I'm white. White people get rid of people who are not "normal" (again, "mentally", not physically, usually). I have lived-with, and around, black people my entire life----I currently live in a black neighborhood, and whenever I can get work, white people are almost always the minority. One almost never hears-of a black person being put-out of their family for being "different"----if a black person is estranged from their family, it's almost always that the person has "chosen" the estrangement. I've never seen black people on Oprah (when she was on broadcast TV) talkin'-about how their friends all left them, when they were down-sized, for instance, and lost their home. Only white people, in my experience----and, generally speaking----get rid of each other. I'm not putting anybody down for this----I got rid of my entire biological family because of the way they treated me! (I have my theory as why white and black people are like this, but that?s just too many "cans of worms", for one post.)
I have an aunt who told my adoptive mother, when I got my diagnosis, not to tell anyone. This same aunt REFUSED to acknowledge that her son died of AIDS----my theory is that she felt "what" he was (gay) reflected on her----like, she wasn't a good mother, and it "made" him gay. I lost my entire adoptive family (except for my adoptive mother----I lost her when I couldn't hold-down a job----cuz that's just TOTALLY unacceptable to most white people, being on welfare) and friends (I've only had 3 friends, my entire adult life) when I announced my diagnosis.
I live in a MAJOR metropolitan area. I'm sure there are those who have NEVER heard-of what I've described because of where they live.
29 Jul 2014, 1:26 pm
