Can people tell you are autistic?

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It's an acceptance that allows you to go around unnoticed, undetected. It enables us to blend into a crowd, be left alone when we feel like being left alone. When we are at our first internally, showing it externally only get's peoples eyes on us. And unwanted attention only makes things worse. I also absolutely DETEST people who, when hearing of my AS, go: "oh that's so brave of you to still do X and X in spit of your... disorder". I don't need people's pity in absence of real genuine understanding so I'd rather not be seen at all. I'm not a cancer patient, or mentally ret*d. I'm not slow and life isn't an every day challenge for me, just some things are.

Understanding is a noble thing to strive for, but a more realistic goal would be to strive for invisibility when we choose it. Because with invisibility comes true privacy, true peace and the ability to be left alone when you want to be left alone. At the end of the day I do not want people to act differently to me or treat me differently then any other human being, NT or AS. I am a human being and wish to be treated as such. Silence ensures me I am treated the way I want to be treated; without pity, without lowered expectations.

People surely can tell something's wrong with me. Many of them instantly take a dislike for me. But they don't seem to think it's autism or anything specific. They seem to think I'm simply a weird bad person. But I don't think their knowing about my autism would make them treat me better. It would only be another piece of gossip for them.

I really doubt it. I have limited social involvement and I've spent a lifetime learning how to be invisible and suppress most of my visible symptoms when dealing with people. I rarely hear the word 'autism' used by anyone I know, and I've never met another person who was autistic--at least not that I could tell. Everybody else seems mostly normal and able to get through life so easily. NT's take so much for granted and most of them don't take any time to consider what's different about people like us. They only know that you are different, unless you're a real pro at faking it...I'm not. I don't have the energy or the focus.

No one thinks I'm autistic. That includes psychiatrists and counselors. Most people just think I'm anxious and shy.

I consider myself as quite high functioning. I have no idea how I ?come off?. I presume, to most people, that I am simply shy, introverted, aloof, reserved, restrained, etc. At some point, if people really get to know me better (which few actually do), I imagine they will think I am a bit strange/odd based upon my interests and certain obsessive behaviors, which are typically hidden from the public (as I learned when I was young to hide this stuff, otherwise, I would be teased incessantly).

Also, I wonder if most NTs can actually recognize the signs of autism in adults, particularly those that are high functioning.


I know I tried hard to fit in, when I was younger. At the time, I didn?t know any better.

I used to try to fit in a lot too. I still do sometimes but not nearly as much as I used to do.

I could tell people I'm autistic, and most of the time they don't believe me. I think when they see an autistic person, they see a person who's severely handicapped in some way. I also have ADHD as well, so there are times when i get used to people that I can talk their ear right off. That makes people believe I'm not autistic, and my mom has to constantly remind them that I am. I hate it because I often wish my autism was more visible so they would believe me.

Outside of my family and a few relatives not so much,

Warning story to follow:

Last night I was having dinner with somebody and the restaurant have loud music playing the whole time by the time we left the person commented that the music was loud and I said yea it's loud for you but for me it's like 10x more loud and he replied by "why's that?" I told him that I have Autism and I am sensitive to loud noises and bright lights to which he said "cut it out.. you don't have Autism", "I have seen the kids with Autism they are not like you...you can talk and do stuff" So I tried telling the person that it's a spectrum disorder and it affects each one of us differently he didn't want to hear it and was kinda quick to change the conversation I showed him a summery report that I carry with me when I go to classes just in case I get called out for wearing sunglasses in class. He barked back by saying " I've never heard of this person whom did the testing....I don't believe this report you appear to be normal to me", "Maybe when you were a kid you had it but I don't see it now." I told him I went to get another physiological screening from the state for VR services they too agree that I had and still do have Autism it doesn't mean I'm dumb it means I process things differently and I tend to have restricted interests and is more introverted in nature (which is I opt out doing group activities such as trivia which I am normally invited to go to) and he followed up by saying you got to stop being introverted and start doing more stuff. I just basically said I am starting to come out of my shell somewhat with going to various restaurants and different places I've never been before it's very hard for me to do such things. his final reply was "Yea I noticed that but you got to work on that"

When I was a little girl neither I nor anyone else knew I was Autistic. They [and I ] knew that I was incredibly differrent and weird. Life was hell. later, I learned to "fake" normal. I still was not aware that I was Autistic but I did know that I deserved an Oscar for best performing artist. This went on for several decades.

Crap happened a few years back and I was no longer able to fake it. The betrayel my 'friends" felt and their 'revenge" for "deceiving' them was beyond belief. I think that the extent of their cruelty was made worse because I pretty much lost my looks, money, health, and reputation as that 'incredible wonder-woman who takes such good care of that sick little boy" all during the same period that I was no longer able to fake who I am anymore.

I am at a place where I could go back to "faking normal." It would not be as it was before because I no longer have health, looks or money, but I could pull off being a normal, sweet old lady.

I choose not to. For me,[and this is only MY personal values. I totally understand anyones need to protect themselves, as well as possible] it would be immoral. With my personal values it would be wrong of me NOT to be open , not only to share with everyone within talking distance about being Autistic, and proud of it [and of the extent of discrimination and lack of understanding many Autistics live with] but to PRESENT as my authentic self, stims and all [which I explain as I excitedly hand flap]

am low functioning autistic & have mild intelectual disability both of which cause severe challenging behavior where ever we are if theres a trigger,although dont personaly notice being different as am oblivious to environment and to other people...am very visibly autistic to others-we often have strangers come up to the support staff of mine to offer support and sometimes its to give sympathy and to say they have autistic children themselves [am always with two support staff at any one time and being held by them on both arms if walking so its obvious in that way to].
am unable to control being different,and find it pretty ignorant especialy of those severely affected by their ASD [whether HFA or LFA] that its assumed we have the ability and mental capacity to be like everyone else,it shows a lack of understanding of severe HFA/LFA,those of us with severe LF autism are completely disconnected to humanity and dont recognise/feel the impact of our behavior on ourselves or others but guilt tripping us wont make us any different.

its very ignorant that people feel the need to put shame and prejudice on autistic behaviors just because do not approve of being different to the norm,we are who we are.

^^^
this is me as well, some days are more distressing than others, mostly due to getting really tired out. I do have a lifelong activity of drawing and painting, but cannot socialize well enough to be with an interest group of any kind.

some people dont notice, others do, it all depends on how stressed i am and how observant the person is. most of the time, people dont notice it.

My guess would be that, if people were better informed about the symptoms of autism spectrum, it would be easy for them to notice it. But because they are generally ignorant about AS
(as I used to be before I found out about it), they spot something that's seems a bit odd, but don't know why it is so.

Trying to control myself to appear normal would be impossible for me, because I can't focus
my attention on self-perception while I'm interacting with people.
Social situations are too intense, confusing, distracting and I'm too stressed out to even try to gain any control over my voice or my movements.
My voice is often too loud, my face feels tense and I can't talk, listen and visually observe
the person(s) I'm interacting with simultaneously. I would have to switch very fast between, looking, feeling, thinking, talking and listening, which I cant do.
When I focus on one person, all other people fade from my field of perception completely. My hands move nervously and randomly without any relevance to the communication taking place.
Most of these details come only to my awareness much later, when I'm in a quiet place, remembering and reflecting over what took place.
My husband says he could always tell something was different about me, but didn't know what it was, only that he liked it.
And to expect that anybody who has this condition to a severe degree should hide it in order to be invisible and not "put shame on the autistic community" is simply unrealistic and totally wrong.
If anything, we should educate people and demand to be accepted the way we are, because there is nothing wrong with being different.

Obvious enough. I stare completely away from people, with occasional very quick glances at the person... Also with clear stimming at times. If someone tries to make self look at them, I quickly become upset, make a clear sound with turning as much away from people as possible. My mom explains my behavior.

I think that people can tell that there is something a little bit odd about me. I've only had a handful of friends/family actually come out and ask me if I was autistic, though.

I was asked by a manager during the very brief time I was waitressing if I had Asperger's syndrome. He thought it was odd that I didn't write people's orders down and never waitressed before. I just remember things very well and in a formulaic way. People's orders are remembered in my head as abbreviations, or acronyms. Don't know if that has to do with AS. I also hated it when the restaurant was crowded because of loud noises and I have always been easily irritable in settings where I'm in physical contact/proximity to a lot of people. I strongly dislike being asked to do something when I am clearly absorbed in another task.

My current boss thinks I have AS because I don't really make eye contact. I engage and know what she's saying to me and I converse and all, but I don't really look people in the eyes much, nor does my body language suggest I'm attuned to what they're saying at times. She didn't directly ask me this though. She asked my coworker if something was "off" with me and brought up AS.

I've also had episodes at work that are like what you all describe as "meltdowns."

Three people I live with asked me if I had something along the lines of AS because of my constantly putting my hand over my mouth and touching my hair for no reason. I also engage in "special interests" consistently and intensely, so they asked out of curiosity when I was working on multiple art projects with the same theme for a good three weeks straight.

To my family, I am just a disgusting lunatic of a person. My immediate family legally cannot contact me. The extended family doesn't hate me per se, but they think I'm odd and keep me at an arm's length.