Being Ignored

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This reminds me of when im out shopping, and standing in line to pay, and the person sitting there is like, saying hello and being nice to everyone, then when its my turn, they just dont say anything at all. That really makes me sad and confused. Not that im good at talking to strangers or doing small talk. but its just kinda hard to not feel out of place or something.

Last edited by loner1984 on 26 Oct 2014, 4:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yes it is, though it seems to be common. I once was told something along the same times, and it shocked me that people saw me that way (though I found their honesty refreshing).

I'm ignored constantly by people and it's making me angrier it seems as time goes on and more likely to lash out at people.

I'm almost at my boiling point with neurotypicals and their BS.

OP, have you considered that over 90% of people's first impressions of someone is formed from non-verbal cues? Some people creep into a room, some walk tall, and everything in between. It all broadcasts a message to others. So part of the answer is to consider what you might be doing to trigger that response. Alternatively, you can discount that and take the view that others shouldn't care about it - but people assess the messages body language gives largely on a subconscious level. We all do.

It might be helpful to have a look at the way very confident people carry themselves when they enter a room, and then try to figure out if you are giving off the opposite signals. Just holding your head up and smiling can send a message "I'm here and I'm approachable". Walking in head down with a blank face tends to send the message "ignore me, I'm an insignificant person".

If you are consistently being ignored everywhere you go, then you are probably in some way contributing to this, unconsciously. And you can decide then if you want to change anything about your habitual style. Or not.

That happens a lot to me, too. It's as if I weren't as good as other people. Some of the checkout people must be judging us somehow.

My boss once told me I'm the sort of person who can walk through a room and nobody would notice.

Sometimes, I think I must be made of glass. Feels like it.

Is there anything at all that you can think of that you might do differently to get a different response from people?

Yes, I have this happen to me, and it often makes me feel depressed.

I always eats me up inside when I think about how others get a greeting from a stranger and yet I never do. I know it is not an important part of life and I would rather not keep looking at strangers, but it's just a matter of principle. When I'm walking along with somebody else, and a stranger passes, the person I'm with just gives a quick glance at them, not a smile or even intending to greet, just a quick glance to see who they are. And 9 times out of 10 the stranger will say ''hello''. But whenever I decide to look at a stranger, and give a friendly smile or just a friendly acknowledgement, I just get a blank stare or just get ignored. It often hurts me inside. Now I don't even like passing someone in a quiet place because I now get that awkward feeling. After several times of being ignored when just smiling to someone, I feel I don't want to make an effort any more, so I just look down or look away when passing someone. But for some reason I feel awkward. I am naturally a polite, friendly person, and to have to do this, I always feel so awkward.

If somebody, anybody, gave me a smile, I would always smile back. It's just my nature. I believe in the expression ''do unto others and I'd have them done to me''. There's a very strange old man that lives in our town that most people refer him to ''the village idiot''. But he smiles and says to everybody he passes, including me, and despite the fact that he's a little strange and has a lot of learning difficulties and also has poor hygiene, I always smile and say hi back, even though I don't really know him personally. I think he's sweet and seems lonely and so saying hi to people might cheer him up or even make his day. I think that is beautiful.

Sigh. If only more people were like me. And I'm supposed to lack empathy???

About your question...

Was it at all relevant to the conversation? Had it been answered in a slightly different way?

The reason is my husband is HORRIBLE with doctors and they flat out ignore him. Usually, he'll ask something off the wall, and doctors have one mission--->dump the facts and get the hell out.

This last time, my husband asked a question, it wasn't really related to my issue, and the doctor just talked over him. My husband also does this big information dump lead up, which doubly aggravates my doctors. I can rephrase my husband's question and get an answer.

Talking to doctors is like talking into a mobile phone with three minutes of battery remaining. You almost have to talk in meme form to get answer.

Not all are like that, but surgeons are the worse.

Hope your mom is doing better. ♡

Around my friends, I sometimes feel ignored. I wish that conversations, at least casual ones, weren't so chaotic.

I feel this way about my siblings too. Sometimes, they just want to be alone. They still love me though.

Happens to me all the time in social situations where more 2 or more other people are present.

If I even try to talk I get interrupted every time, and the few times I tried raising my voice people just stopped and stared at me like I was crazy for a couple seconds before going back to conversing among themselves.

Now after the first interruption I usually just give up and mutter "I don't know why I even bother trying to talk to people".

I've had people forget I was in their car, until I say something and they go WHOA.

I suspect it is the lack of body language, it identifies you as non human in their mind.

Yes, I can relate to being ignored. It started in my own home when I was growing up, some of my family members would just ignore what I had to say. It still happens today, sometimes I go in a store and the people totally ignore me as if I was invisible or something, when really it is their job to ask if there is something they can help me with but they don't. In such a situation I don't like to speak up so I would just get my husband to approach them instead. I wonder why aspies tend to get overlooked by others? If we are just sitting or standing there like everyone else, why would someone not just treat everyone the same? People are strange.

Oh, I can so relate to this... Especially as a child I used to talk to animals and spend time with them instead, because they actually saw me! I never understood what was wrong with me, I tried to change and be likable and so on until I just stopped talking in my teens.

My strategy now is to intimidate people, to be overly friendly and overly polite, always say hello, thank you and goodbye. My posture is very straight and I dress elegantly - all to kind of rub it in. To "give back" for those years of being invisible. And if somebody dares laugh at me, or tries to not acknowledge me, I have my "ice-queen" look, a wry smile and a lifted eye brow, which really looks like I know all and you know nothing. Of course this has given me a reputation of being an ice-cold beeeyatch in some places, but what do I care. At least they see me

Wow - you do that too? I do that! I did it at the coffee shop where I used to work.

I remember this one family who ordered at my till - every time I asked a question about their order like which soup for their combos, etc. they would interrupt me, trying to all order at the same time. I tried to ring each combo in groups as it was easier to see on the screen down at the sandwich station. Anyway I kept getting interrupted, and for stupid crap like calorie content, etc. (Do you expect me to memorize that??! !) I was getting pisseder & pisseder.

At the end they had the nerve to ask me for directions somewhere. I was barely containing myself from saying something snarky while they were ordering, but taking their order was my job - giving directions wasn't. I said something to the effect of "I kept getting interrupted while taking your order, so therefore I'm unable to help you out with that, but feel free to ask one of my co-workers" - trust me, that was the nice version of what I really wanted to say!

No. I get ignored by people who don't even know me.