If you know ur regarded 2b"weird", why dont change

Post Reply New Topic

The OP never came back this seems like they want to rant but not listen.

OP your question has been addressed have you no response?

Because a lot of us don't have the proper social skills to pass as normal?

OP I hope you don,t find my questions offensive.

Why did you bother joining this forum.

Why after getting a load of detailed answers have you not acknowledged any of them.

OP can you understood why some of us adopt the once bitten twice shy mentally to probing questions when we have doubts about the motivation behind such questions?

The OP could be in a differnet time zone to you. They maybe typed this, then went to bed and are still asleep.

Anything is possible but I won't be holding my breath.

- We don't always know that what we've done is weird, we only see people's responses.

- We may not always know what the normal way to act is.

- Why should we change our entire personality when it isn't hurting anyone?

- Our whole demeanour comes across as "off". Have you ever tried changing everything about your body language for just a day?

Seriously, change your personality and body language for just.one.day, then come back and tell us how it's just a matter of willpower and how you could totally function normally while doing it and how you weren't exhausted at the end of it.

Sorry, but I can't try to "act normal", that is an ignorant thing to say.

Asperger's and any other forms of Autism on the spectrum simply don't go away if you try to "act normal". Also, I don't consider myself weird at all.

If the simple fact that we are aware that we are doing something "weird" was enough for us to be able to change it completely and fit the "normal" stereotype, believe me, autism would not even be a problem and most people perhaps wouldn't even want a diagnosis.

It's not like this:
"Ouch, so i stim in public and people think that's weird? I'm not doing that anymore them".
"I can't understand sarcasm/body language? I'll do this from now on"
"This noises are making me feel that my brain is melting, but i will act as if nothing is happening"

It's not like that.
A lot of us want or at least have wanted once to do not have some traits/difficulties that makes us this way, you can easily find this by yourself if you search through General Autism Discussion, The Haven and Social Skills and Making Friends forums. But that's how our brain work and that's it.

I don't 'act' or ?pretend? to be anything. I just be myself, and if that comes across as ?weird? well, so be it.

I?m happy and comfortable with who I am and if someone thinks I?m weird well, that?s their opinion and opinions are like as*holes. Everybody?s got one!

Just wanna say, you guys are amazing!! !

I did not expect that there would be so many replies. And I will reply each of you later when I went home after class.

Quick clarification, I am from Asia, so yes we are in different time zones.
I did not join this forum out of pure curiosity. As a master student majoring in education, I just rearranged my career plan to focus on special education, specially on autism.

In US, people with autism get a lot of professional help, but in my country it is not the case. There isn't any forum like this for people to share.

So basically, I am here to learn from you. And so far, you are being so kind and helpful!!


Talk to you later!

"Normal" requires the ability to process information both cognitively and subconsciously.

People with autism/AS do not process the subconscious information properly. We can try and compensate with cognitive processing, but errors and lag time affects how well we do it.

"Normal" is just something you can't fake...at least not for very long.

OP is back I was wrong I hold my hands up.

I consider my self to be normal and others to be weird. They consider themselves to be normal and me to be weird. Who can say which of us is right? I'm trying to learn to tolerate this.

I can't be something I'm not. The anxiety I suffer in social situations that comes with asperger's syndrome isn't something I can just shrug off and therefore be normal. If I could, I'd of done it a long time ago.

Most of us aren't that oblivious. We know we're odd.
I'd like to point out that many of us do try to act normal. With extensive, exhausting effort, we can learn to approximate things like eye contact and body language. But we will always be a little off, and doing that will always be exhausting and uncomfortable. So we do that for some things, but the layers drop the better we know someone or the more comfortable we are with them. Often, for things like body language, we'll mask, but for something like conversation topics, we won't, because we're not going to hide and smother ourselves completely.
We can and do mask, but it's an act, an act which covers every facet of us and which will never be perfect, an act which exhausts us more every second we perform it. Is it any wonder that we don't choose to perform it every second of every day of our lives?

Besides, I like who I am when not masking. "Normal" isn't some perfect state I aim for, it's a smothering thing I'm forced to imitate to function socially. I prefer the real me.

Thanks for the advice, I will be working on that.