I HATE having Aspergers

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Oh, I just felt like I should add, my brother has a ton of talent. He can pick up languages so easily, can play any musical instrument, can sing better than most people, skipped high school and went to college at 13. His life sucks. He got screwed over by a lot of people, and while he won't admit it, I think he has depression.
Being good at something doesn't make life less miserable. People make life miserable. But they also make it worthwhile. Comparing yourself to them won't help you. I constantly compare myself to other artists, wondering why I can't be as good as them, but then I realized, I'm not them. I'm me, and if I could draw like them, I would lose something of myself. As an artist, I put myself into my work, as if I'm putting a piece of my soul into it. So my art may not be as "good" as other people's, to me, but it's mine. I'm slowly learning to like it, but it's taken a long time. When I was in 12th grade, I didn't think I was good at anything. I was always living in my brother's shadow and even though his life was miserable and people were constantly being jerks to him, he was still raised on a pedestal, people praised him while in the same breath tore him down. I envied that, for some reason. I once drove my grandma crazy by trying to get her to say anything about my art other than "oh that's cute." While she would just be amazed at how amazing my brother was and take videos. There aren't really any videos of me...
I'm still not really over that, but I realize that I wouldn't trade anything for that kind of life and I no longer envy my brother, but pity him. I'd rather play my video games, hang out with animals, and not have any attention.

Even if you are, that's not caused by AS.



Nor is that, and if it worries you, just start lifting what you CAN lift, and work your way up.

everybody thinks somebody else is weird. nobody thinks they themselves are weird. I am sure there are people you yourself consider weird. it is just one of those human nature conceits.


you are not the only one. I am a hermit because of those issues. you aren't really missing too much in terms of not having mere fair weather friends [the majority] that can't handle a little "weirdness" now and then. be who you are and say what you feel, for the people who matter won't mind, and the people who mind don't matter.


unfortunately, most humans don't learn to be properly humane until they have made decades' worth of mistakes along the way to senior citizenhood. it is the exceptional human who exceeds this mediocre performance. and you must believe that 1] there are people far less attractive than you, and 2] the ugliest people are ugly on the INSIDE.


there will always be those greater and lesser than oneself. it is all too easy to see the shiny ones up on the hill while totally ignoring the stragglers struggling up the hill behind you.


having been in the military, I can vouch for the fact that pushups and situps and such are a giant PITA, and I wonder what special kind of madness makes people want to knock themselves out at such. I've done enough for you and me so don't worry about doing any of that rot. and there are machines that can more excellently lift 50# and more, IOW it is more important that you make your brain do some heavy lifting which it is capable of once it finds something interesting and worth its while.


there are billions of people on earth who believe that we each made a bargain with our eternal spirits, to incarnate here on this thumpin' bumpin' world to toughen up and learn something important. you are well on your way to doing just that, but the most important thing to learn is forebearance. each of us [for the most part] has their own struggle, some of which would not be good fodder for exchanges if such could ever be made so. I'm sure you would not want my bad back and arthritis and/or schizophrenic tendencies. there are also billions of people who believe that if you cut your life short for whatever reason, that you will simply have to get back in line and do it [live your allotted lifetime] again in some other guise, possibly with less favorable circumstances. there is no escaping karma. you might as well grit your teeth and get this life lived all the way through and DONE WITH.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Dear ForTheLoveofDogs,

I know that if you are feeling this way, and already have a plan to end your life, you are serious. I know that maybe nothing I or anyone else can say will really make you feel better. But we and I have to try. I love that you love dogs. Me too! And I know how you feel. I have felt just like this many times. I have a gun, so it would be very easy for me to do. But then I think of my dog, then my family, etc. And then I know I have to go on living, or my dog might actually die too. And of course my family and a handful of other people would be upset. So I go on living. And in the meantime, good things do happen.

I am a high school teacher now. I used to be like you. I dropped out of high school; at least you are still trying. I bet you are stronger than you think.

I never had more than a couple of friends, and I still don't. But I have those and they are real, and they are enough. You have three friends then you have three people to talk to. Please talk to them. Also, I am really super proud of you for sharing this with us, so that we can show you that you really are valuable and it would be an absolute tragedy if you ended your life. I don't even know you, and I would be sad if you were gone.

You matter.

Well said, Don'thaveaname.

OP, you are using up a lot of energy invalidating yourself just now. You do matter. I hope for you that in time you will learn to use the same amount of energy validating yourself. It is possible. For now, get through the tunnel. You aren't alone anymore.

I'm so sorry to hear what your going through, and i don't know what it's like to be in your shoes, nor do i know what all of this really feels like to you, but i can imagine the pain it causes you, you deserve to be treated with the same kindness as everyone else, you deserve to be seen and heard, you deserve to be loved, you deserve so so much, just like everyone else does.
Those people who treat you badly, well the shame is on them, how they act and what they do towards you says who they are not you. I have been bullied as well when i was younger, so i can in a way imagine what your going through, and it is hard, it does affect you, but trust me just try not to let them get to you too much, things will get better i promise, prove those s**kers wrong, you are better than them, better than how they treat you!

Please don't hurt yourself or try suicide, there's so much to live for, so much you haven't yet seen or experienced in life, if you give up on life before it's really meant to be over, you'll never know what greatness you could achieve, how many lovely things you could experience. Keep trying love, don't give up. Here's a song for you, it made me think of your situation, and to me it means that there are so many people (more than you might believe yourself) that wants you to keep on living, to not give up, to find that inner strength in you all those times times get hard and get back up on your feet. Life is worth fighting for, your life is worth living, don't let anyone or anything make you believe anything different <3 big big hug too you

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WaagSr0NaEM

I was pretty much you five years ago.
I didn't kill myself, because if you do that there's no chance of things getting better, because I won't make my little sister grow up with that, because there were things I wanted to do.
You love dogs. If you can't have one, volunteer at an animal shelter. Offer dog-walking services in the neighborhood. Learn all you can about dogs. Try FooPets or one of those pet simulators, if it helps.
Friends are complicated. Perhaps you could try joining a club at school for some other interest, or joining the school play, if you're able. I find that the Robotics club, Model UN, or the cast of the play can be some of the most accepting people in the world.
For the bullying, are they few enough that you can switch classes?
If you can survive one more year, you're out of school and everything changes.
Don't kill yourself. You're too awesome.

It's great that the guy is getting such a bulwark of support

WrongPlanet IS a great site!

I hate having Asperger's too. I feel like it lets me down. I have a pretty good friendship going, and I'm good with body language and emotionally connecting and all of that, but then suddenly a quirk gets pointed out to me that I think ''oh, that is so Aspie'', and I then get cross with myself. I drove friends away at school because of my Aspieness, and I thought I had learnt from that mistake, but apparently I still haven't.

I hate obsessions. I know NTs can have obsessions, but at least they know when to stop. I get so carried away with my obsessions. I have this nagging urge to want to say something about my obsession. I don't want to give away the fact that I am obsessed, so I just kind of bring it up casually like it's just some sort of casual talk, and it's not even like my obsessions are strange either (I'm obsessed with buses). Most people talk about buses, especially if they get buses a lot like I do, and know a lot of other passengers and drivers. Often buses get brought up in small talk. But I've only got to mention a bus once, for 2 seconds, and they suddenly guess that I am Totally Obsessed. Yet I can talk about something else a lot (something I'm not obsessed with), and they talk about it a lot too and they never think that I'm obsessed. And it's not like I monologue about buses either, because I know nothing about buses mechanically, and I'm bad at memorizing routes and the times of the buses. I just have a bit of a fascination with the drivers, so I like to just sneak a peek at who's driving the bus as it goes by, and everybody makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

God I HATE Asperger's.

When I was 24 years old I actually took out a $70,000 life insurance policy with the plan that I would wait out the two year exclusion clause and then probably commit suicide and leave the money to my mother - so I would not have died in vain. But something kind of took over and I changed my mind. I certainly didn't know at that time that I had Asperger's or autism because back in those days - the 70's - nobody knew about it. But I knew I was not right for this world. But somehow or other I managed to hold on. I managed to change my mind. I managed to give life a chance and I actually found some meaning after all.

My brother, Danny committed suicide when he was 18 years and in the 12th grade old way back in 1971 - when I was only 16 going on 17. Back then nobody knew about Asperger Syndrome. But if they did - Danny would have been immediately diagnosed as an obvious Asperger person. What makes me sad - is that if he had held on a bit longer- he might have found that life had some meaning after all.

All I am saying is that to give life a chance. All of us will have unlimited time to be dead and only very limited time to be alive. Choose life. Read Albert Camus's The Myth of Sisyphus

There is but one truly serious philosophical problem, and that
is suicide. Judging whether life is or is not worth living amounts to
answering the fundamental question of philosophy.

http://www.dhspriory.org/kenny/PhilText ... yphus-.pdf

I finished 12th grade last year.

I'm not depressed (nor do I have AS), but I know how it feels when everything seems to be pushing you to the grave. If it helps you to be easier on your AS, there are countless people without it that suffer as you do.

If you ever want to discuss anything via PM I will always be happy to reply to you.