all this self-diagnosis stuff

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Even NT's, under the conditions which you mentioned, would have had a hard time in college.

I've only told two people so far (not counting therapists), my wife and my brother. I'm not sure if I told my wife so much as she discovered it alongside me as I researched it. It's helped our relationship a lot. She's more open to the possibility that I'm just thinking about things differently, whereas before she often assumed my actions implied some kind of intent behind them. She's been really supportive of the entire process for me.

My brother I just told this last weekend, and I don't think it was that helpful. He made some pretty typical comments, "you're obviously high functioning" and "you're still you". On the whole he was supportive and non-judgmental. But at the same time, I didn't fell like he "got" it. It was helpful in that it explains for him why I've been distant in our relationship lately as I've tried to work through this. He had assumed I was avoiding him. But I don't think his understanding of how I think or react to certain situations has really changed any.

Every diagnosis was invented by humans who invented a word for a group of symptoms/personality traits. It's not like the absolute truth of the universe is that if you display this or that trait you officially have autism according to the laws of Nature. The fact that Aspergers/High Functioning Autism even exists is because someone invented it. Someone looked at a group of symptoms and decided to name it Autism. Or Aspergers. Most people's perceptions tend to align completely with society so they think that it's more valid if someone with a PhD says you fit a certain number of descriptions than if you say you do. What's a PhD? A certain number of years learning about this or that and a piece of paper. That makes it more true? Either way, it's all just decision making by humans. It's real because someone said it was.
My perception to everything doesn't align with society and i see everything from outside of society so the way I see everything is always an unpopular opinion.

Forgive me for going slightly off topic by responding to GreenNonic instead of the OP but:

To GreenNonic -- who the hell are these "A lot of people" who "Seem to want to have autism"?

You're making a whole lot of assumptions based on exactly WHAT?

Seven years when I, in my forties, ran across the traits and realized it was a possibility, I can tell you right now I DID NOT WANTTO HAVE AUSTISM.

I was upset to recognize myself in the traits.

And yes, I knew it was not something else not bi polar, not schizophrenia, etc etc because I'd already attended therapy with a counselor qualified to assess for those conditions and she gave me a clean bill of health. However she was not an ASD specialist, it was the friggin 90's, I was there for depression and grief counseling as everybody in my life had just freaking died and autism was not on her radar nor mine.

This is how a LOT of my generation slipped under the radar, even to ourselves.

I did not "self diagnose," I just carried around a cold chill of suspsicion for seven damn years before I was less afraid to go find out for real.

I was right.

I was positively diagnosed.

But I'm here to say I'm sick of all these assumptions a lot of people on WP make about "WANTING" to be autistic.

Who the HELL would WANT this? I have never run into anyone, even here on WP, who appears to want this. I've run into people coming here to ponder it, to ask about it, for themselves or because of a loved one. But I've never found anyone thinking ti would be just the most neato mosquito thing to have whoopee.
For god's sake will people stop making that assumption?

All I know for myself is that when I first had a shock of recognition while looking up the condition because of a public figure who said he'd been diagnosed, I was NOT a happy camper. I took that moment harder than even the moment when I actually got my diagnosis.

Plus, you are completely trivialising the way people discover recognition that they share the traits. There's a lot of THAT on WP also. People dismissively assuming that someone just "Read a few traits, looked up stuff, jumped all over a couple of traits -- " Oh I do that too, alrighty then, I'm autistic!" -- and feel satisfied.

Where are all these people? Name them? From anything I've seen, it's something people haven't been that cavalier about at all. I certainly wasn't.

And i didn't f*****g tell anyone I was even suspecting it for seven years. That's not exactly an attitude of "OOOH I have some traits, okay then!" And even now that I have a diagnosis, I'm not telling anyone. It's not "cool" it's just what it is and it's personal, it's putting the pieces together for ME nobody else.

I'm sick of the assumptions so many cynical people on here make about those of us who [b]had to at one point come to our own suspicions in order to even GET to the next place of deciding to book an assessment.

As an adult you can't have one without first having the other. Nobody would ever go ahead and get that evaluation if they hadn't FIRST done SOME form of "i think I may have it."

Call that self diagnosis or self suspicion or whatever you want, there are certain generations like mine that had to have that "aha" moment.

And holding down a job means you can't possibly be autistic?

I want to call you every name under the sun for that one. Lost of people right here managing to work, albeit some of us had terrible spotty work histories, I did until I had to become self employed. But OH NO, I'm self employed! I CAN'T be autistic then!! ! [sarcasm]

This place leaves me depressed.

BirdInFlight I completely agree with what you wrote.

I just wish I could do something to make things better here. No one should have to feel bad about coming here.

Contrary to what others have said, autism is NOT a hip, glamorous diagnosis among the general population.

Many people believe autistics are, at best, like Rain Man. At least he has meaningful speech.

@BirdInFlight

Firstly, of course some people with autism can hold down a job and marry and have children. If nobody with autism could do that, then possibly the condition would die out as it is believed to be strongly hereditary. But I do understand the frustration and anger of those who can't do those things, as I am one of them. I'm not saying it's easy for you or anybody else who has to hold down a full-time job. Hell, even some NTs struggle with working. My 100% NT brother hates his job and would gladly not work if he didn't need to. But he doesn't have the social difficulties that autistic people do, so in that sense he probably has it much easier.

Secondly, and more controversially, I do believe there are some people (not you) who "want" to be autistic. Even I found myself "wanting" a positive diagnosis and fearing the opposite. Actually I was in two minds about it, but I think it was the larger part which wanted the 'yes' diagnosis. Why? If I suspected I had cancer or HIV, I would be delighted with a negative result. Yet nobody is delighted to get a negative diagnosis for autism: in fact the guy from my autism team told me that some people argued about it, saying "but I have this and this and that" - if that's not "wanting" a diagnosis then I don't know what is.