I cannot stop obsessing about whether or not I have it

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I do get visibly angry at loud noises, I often feel a sudden urge to attack the source. My sense of smell isn't very strong, it actually seems a bit less sensitive than normal. I never thought about it but I do kind of squirm a lot before I get comfortable, I have to keep adjusting my clothes so they aren't bunched up, move things out of my pockets etc. Certain visual stimulation is distracting and annoying, especially bright light. The sun annoys me constantly, which is why I prefer overcast days. And I hate driving at night because I can't see anything when a car in the opposite lane is passing me with their lights on. I'm not usually bothered by too much movement but there have been times when it annoyed me quite a bit, it just depends on the day I guess. I'm honestly not very picky, but any picky habits I have are related to textures. Like, I don't like smoothies unless they are totally smooth, I have a hard time eating them if there are chunks of fruit. Things like that, if textures are mixed where I don't feel they should be (or it's just a gross texture, like something that's slimy or meat that has extremely chewy bits ).

I have the book already, I just have a hard time concentrating on it (as with a lot of things). I have read a few chapters though, I remember him talking about coping methods, one of them being mimicking socially adept people, and thinking, that is exactly what I did in high school! That dispelled some of my doubt at the time, but I haven't picked the book up in a while.

My adventure was a bit different from everyone here. A psychologist suggested I have aspergers and then diagnosed me with ocd when i checked myself into a psychosis intervention program. He offered testing for autism but I declined. I was at the pshycosis intervention because i had this very strong obssesion about developing schizophrenia. I was in denile about the aspergers for several years. I assumed aspergers was a ambiguous diagnosis shy people lable themselfs with. Over the years the more I read about autism the more I went "oh yeah... thats my life story right there" especially the hyper sensory stuff and my speech problems. After a few more years of self discovery there started to be no doubt in my mind that I was autistic.

It is an AMAZING feeling to have this closure, liberation and freedom to just love and be my autistic self.

I sincerely hope you guys find it.

I dont even need or want an official diagnosis, its unquestionable.

I've been diagnosed for 5-6 months now and still obsess over it because I keep second guessing myself.

Pick it up. There's a lot of value in reading it through at least once.

Also, just wanted to point out that the simple fact that you're obsessing about it is further proof positive that you likely have it..

I've known I had it since Olympiadis explained the hive-mind and the system intelligence and how people without Asperger's don't incorporate it naturally. Instead we attempt to understand society on our own. It's like everyone else hears the music and we just try to copy how they dance.

Most of my life I've known I was different but I'd often deny how different I was. I'd tell myself, "I understand everything. They don't think I do but I do."

What I was expressing was my ability to sympathize and empathize. Essentially my existence as a thinking and feeling being. Something I felt others were skeptical about. But there have always been things I couldn't understand that seemingly everyone else did. The way I view the world is so completely different from the norm. How I feel, how I act, how I get fixated or overwhelmed... I'm not neurotypical. That doesn't make me better or worse than those who are it's just simply who I am.

Just because you are autistic that does not mean you would actually get along with other autist. In fact for me the people who treat me the most like absolute s**t is other autistics, and most of the time I belive that they are simply using me as a typical ego trip and the more intelligent once bash me down for being too abormal for there level.

I would not particulary say that NT's are any nicer but they do not show it up more agressively. They BS it better.

I never had a friend in my entire life, all they want is try to hustle me and or use me in some other way, either that is labor, sex, money and so on and those people are often other autists.