Are you ok (or ok-ish) with eye contact?

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eye contact bothers me. I found it so difficult to look someone in the eye, and then just forced myself to do it till I got used to it. once i tried looking in the eyes, and it was like opening the gates to hell. i saw malice and meanness - or thought i did, not good in reading expressios. it was awful. i now make a bit of eye contact on occasions, all i can handle.

I am reasonable with my eye contact, I work as a butcher so I have to be able to sell items and be friendly. Believe me it was a struggle to cope with 30 people all getting stroppy and trying not to jump the counter and punch one of them. Although anyhoo that's customer service for you haha.
My eye contact with close friends and family is good unless I am tired then my concentration goes. With everyone else I look at there mouth or I look at there face but never in the eyes it makes me feel iffy.
TL:DR
I look at close friends and family eyes, everyone else I pretend I do.

Yeah, I'm totally okay with eye contact. I think it's because I was taught, as a very young child, that I must do it. That, "Please" and "Thankyou", and a firm handshake are "the biggies" of my generation.

I'm okay with it, except when I get nervous or stressed. Then I'll try to isolate myself mentally from my surroundings, and I'll not look at the person I'm speaking to

Not too sure. Ever since I figured out that I have an eye contact problem I've improved dramatically- at least I'd like to think so. I don't make eye contact with anyone if they're mad at me. I don't make eye contact with people who put me on the spot in any way. I avoid eye contact with most adults especially the ones I have deep respect for. Distance from the person is a big factor. I don't mind eye contact with peers nearly as much... but I also don't respect my peers much . I've improved mostly because I've learned to look at people's mouths and noses rather than in their eyes.

I'm not very good with eye contact. I find it very tense and draining to look into people's eyes, even my close family. I also feel like people are going to see into my soul and not like what they see! It also seems, from my point of view, that people look at me funny, like they're uncomfortable around me which deters me from looking at them even more. My mum thinks that people look at me funny BECAUSE I don't make much eye contact so it's a bit of a vicious circle!

I learned very young that, while extremely uncomfortable, making and maintaining eye contact as directed was preferable to the physical discipline and yelling which would result from my failure to do so.

As an adult I am capable of making and maintaining eye contact when necessary. But I prefer not to do this with anyone except my wife; it generally causes me significant anxiety.

I'm asian (lol,not really), and I feel prolonged eyecontact as indecent.
You know the kind of people who want to keep you in agony while talking to you and never stopping fixating you, you can't get a word in or find any way to get out of this monologue. It's too easy for all kind of wrongdoers, it happened sometimes that I got followed by a fool or drunk when I looked at that person an instant .
My ex screams "look at me when I'm talking to you", and he can go on for half an hour, specially if I'm carrying something heavy. As if looking is hearing, anyway I can better talk when doing something (together).
Ok-ish in small amounts !
Little children in the shopping areas are curious, I make some eyejokes with them, but the mother never allows this escape from the motherly eye !

My eye contact is horrible. There are a few exceptions: autistic friends, siblings, and my tech supervisor.

I never feel comfortable doing it with anyone else, doctors, friends, therapists, classmates, teachers, total strangers, or even my parents. I can't bring myself to do it, nor do I doubt I ever will.

I really can't say whether I'm any good at it or not, because I have no idea what my eyes do when I'm not concentrating on them. If I have to speak or listen, it's like the 'mini-me' in my head is too busy concentrating on that to operate the tiller for my eyes. That said, deliberate eye contact is very uncomfortable for me, and I have been told that when I do make eye contact I do it 'wrong' (i.e. hold the gaze too long or too fleetingly). Personally, I think eye contact is overrated!

I don't have a problem making eye contact. I have a problem keeping it when I lose interest in what he or she is saying. I can't feign interest in a boring conversation.

not really. I do look at their face so they don't really notice this, though I still look away to speak most of the time.

I can force myself to look directly at their eyes while they're speaking but I will probably miss a lot of what they are saying. And it is almost impossible for me to maintain eye contact while speaking, especially if it's someone I don't talk to a lot or just met.

I can never look directly at peoples' eyes, but I'm mostly fine with looking at faces when other people are talking. When I'm talking, it's usually to walls, floors and ceilings; I can't concentrate on what I'm saying otherwise; eyes make me feel like my soul is being ripped out.

Does anyone unfocus their vision when making eye contact?

I could look at the eyes, if I really wanted to. But I don't. Instead, I tend to look at the mouth.

It's interesting, I mentioned this to several people (that I usually look at my mouth) and they all assumed I was trying to "lip read". That thought never crossed my mind.


This is me as well.


I 100% agree. The eyes are simply too intimate.

This all makes me wonder. Do NTs realize that we are not looking at their eyes, when we converse with them?

Yes, I do this if asked to make eye contact with people (I remember I used to have a teacher who would make me do things like meet her gaze - I don't know why, but it was horrible).