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progaspie
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17 Dec 2014, 5:02 pm

LokiofSassgard wrote:
It depends. I have learned to accept myself in some ways. I know that having autism is part of me, and I would never want to change that at all. However, I do have a hard time with my outbursts/meltdowns. These can make it even harder because it's embarrassing to be making a scene when you're 26 years old. That's the only thing I find really hard to accept.

I think you need to accept who you are and that includes the total package, which includes all the good bits, as well as the bad bits. I would never accept failure though and would be determined never to let failure defeat me. For instance, if I had a meltdown in front of other people and embarrassed myself, I would see that as failure and be determined not to let it happen again. I would never hate myself because of it though, as there's a reason for the way you behave. I would be still be determined not to let it happen again and do all I can do to behave better. Inevitably the same sort of behaviour will happen again, so at some point you just have to accept you are and work at improving your strengths to improve yourself as a person. See yourself as the half full glass, rather than the half empty glass. There are many worse off people than you.



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17 Dec 2014, 5:09 pm

btbnnyr wrote:
Yes, I accept myself, but I also try to improve myself.


This. I don't accept not trying, but I do accept that some things will be a lot harder, and will take me longer to learn.


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Campin_Cat
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17 Dec 2014, 5:12 pm

Cjmtonks wrote:
"How will I know if I've accepted it?"

Probably when you stop getting so very angry at yourself almost every minute of every day, when you feel stupid / inadequate / whatever!! That's when it happened for me----when I stopped putting myself down.



Regarding the OP: Yes, I accept myself!! One of the most important lessons my aunt ever taught me, was..... When a situation would arise in which there was nothing anyone could do anything about, she would say: "Well, what can you do about it?". The answer was "nothing"; then, she would say: "There ya go"! ! So, after it had been repeated to me, about a MILLION TIMES, I still follow this advice, to this day. When there's nothing I can do about whatever, I just tell myself to shut-up (stop whining about it / harping on it / whatever), and get on with myself!!

It comes with age----you'll get there!!



Edna3362
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17 Dec 2014, 5:27 pm

I accept myself... Mostly. But I'm badly improving for some reason. (not in terms of symptoms, but abilities and knowledge itself that I needed to break more barriers from it. I don't know what, but something is blocking me.) Or maybe I guess I'm just trying hard on myself to know thyself? I don't know.

The only part I don't accept for myself is that my words fails. XD


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ToughDiamond
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17 Dec 2014, 5:39 pm

If you just mean accepting myself:
I still have a nasty background tendency to feel unacceptable to myself. Hopefully it will ease over time if I stay alert for it and try to correct it. I've tried repressing it, but then I just made overconfident mistakes for a while. It's hard for me to see myself as normally capable and normally ethical.

I can see how anybody autistic might come to feel that way. Unless you're lucky enough to get diagnosed early in life and well prepared for society by competent specialists, I suppose you'll likely experience years of social failure and putting people off, because the coping skills take a lot of trial-and-error learn from scratch. That's not going to make self-acceptance easy. I know autistic people might not be so easily swayed by what people think, but I think being disliked gets to most of us.

In my case, my primary caregiver didn't accept me as I was, in fact I don't think I've ever known anybody who accepted me less, so I had a bad start anyway.

If you mean accepting my autism:

It saddens me when I see the disability side of it, e.g. the executive disfunction where I get stuck on too much detail. Such aspects of autism will never feel quite acceptable to me, but I'm realistic enough to realise I'm pretty much stuck with them. I always hope that I'll find good workarounds, perhaps even stumble on some mental training exercises that might (e.g.) make me more able to switch focus to the big picture. I think the balance I strike is about right. I wouldn't commit to attending a big social event without looking at it in terms of my disabilities. I've long given up any career aspirations and I don't mind not fitting into society - my partner and my few friends are enough for me.



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17 Dec 2014, 6:49 pm

I've decided that in the Year 2000 to accept everything about myself that makes me different. I've been happy ever since I've made that decision. :)


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17 Dec 2014, 6:50 pm

Going to be a great year for you :)



androbot01
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17 Dec 2014, 7:32 pm

I'm trying to accept myself, but I kinda feel like I'm just getting to know myself too.



kraftiekortie
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17 Dec 2014, 8:27 pm

I don't want to accept that I'm going to die one day.



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17 Dec 2014, 8:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don't want to accept that I'm going to die one day.


Death is natural. Why worry? I'd be more concerned if I wasn't going to die one day.



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17 Dec 2014, 8:36 pm

If there was something "beyond" this world where I could go after I die, I wouldn't mind.

I'm just claustrophobic: I don't want to be put in a situation where I can't go anywhere.



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17 Dec 2014, 8:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
If there was something "beyond" this world where I could go after I die, I wouldn't mind.

I'm just claustrophobic: I don't want to be put in a situation where I can't go anywhere.

I find my body claustrophobic. I look forward to being freed from it.



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17 Dec 2014, 9:59 pm

Edna3362 wrote:
I accept myself... Mostly. But I'm badly improving for some reason. (not in terms of symptoms, but abilities and knowledge itself that I needed to break more barriers from it. I don't know what, but something is blocking me.)


Maybe it's because you're afraid that if you learn more, you'll figure "it" out, and be "alright"----and, "alright" is scary because you haven't "done" it, before. "Safe" / "comfortable", is staying where you are.



olympiadis
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17 Dec 2014, 11:28 pm

androbot01 wrote:
I'm trying to accept myself, but I kinda feel like I'm just getting to know myself too.



Same here, but so far the answer is no.


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adriantesq
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18 Dec 2014, 1:16 am

I was born in the UK before the end of the Second World War and my parents were conscientious objectors on religious grounds, so were under 'house arrest' and had to work in registered heavy industries vital to the defense of the realm. My mother had only a week's leave from work to have me, so had to return to work 3 days after she brought me home from hospital. We lived with her maternal grandfather, who was retired and a widower, in whose care I was left six days a week, while my parents were at work and missionary evening classes as they planned to develop a missionary settlement abroad when the war came to an end. He was deaf, dumb, autistic, and very feral as his mother, who had also been deaf, dumb and autistic ran away from home when he was born, taking him with her, as she was was afraid her parents would take him away from her and bring him up as their own child. She did not run very far away from their house, but lived in the woodlands near it, as the house was part of a large landed estate, that specialized in growing exotic trees, shrubs and plants for sale to the building and landscape architecture trades of the 19th century. He had been found by his mother's younger sister, after his mother and her mother and father had died, and she had taken him into her home and treated him rightly as a nephew, and eventually married him and had children by him, as marriages between close members of the same family, was not greatly frowned upon in those days. The fact that he was deaf and dumb was probably more to do with the fact that his mother was deaf and dumb and he had not therefore got any tuition or practice in using his hearing and voice as normal people do, particularly as they were 'hiding out' in the woodlands so close to the house, so they would have needed to keep silent so as not to be discovered. But, despite that, he was a genius and learned to read and write quickly to a very high standard, and, taught all their children and their children's children to do likewise. To make up for his deafness and dumbness, he used para - normal faculties that animals and birds use, principally, telepathy and psychokinesis, which he used for teaching his familial pupils to read and write. So, to keep me entertained while my parents were at work, he taught me to read and write to a very high standard too. But he also knew some other neat metaphysical tricks, particularly remote viewing, going out of body, and putting his body and brain into near death coma. So, he taught me how to do these too, and we used them together to see and examine items of interest near and far, and to visit places near and far, and go to heaven to visit his wife, mother, and father and other ancestors, and they used to give me supplementary tutorials in their various fields of expertise and knowledge. We used to spend every morning from 6:00 am to 12:00 noon, reading and studying a children's encyclopaedia in 100 soft-backed installments as a curriculum, supplemented with daily newspapers, weekly magazines and monthly journals that he hoarded in his cottage for just such occasion and use. Then we would spend the afternoon and evening, 1:00pm to 9:00pm, in heaven with our ancestors and my tutorials. All work and no play iike this certainly made me a boring boy, but I never left the house. except for church on Sundays, so I did not have much opportunity to discover I was so odd compared to normal people. I never therefore had any other option but to accept who I was. That is how I was brought up for the first three and half years of my life.


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18 Dec 2014, 2:58 am

I don't know what to say. That is one of the most moving accounts I have ever read here.