What is it about you that people find off-putting?

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Deb1970
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22 Dec 2014, 10:38 pm

1. Rude, interrupt and speak out of turn.
2. Misunderstand others often.
3. Laugh inappropriately.
4. Selfish and self centered.
5. Uncaring.
6. Poor posture.
7. Strange, odd.
8. Limited interest.
9. Lazy Slob.
10. Over analytical.


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Campin_Cat
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23 Dec 2014, 3:58 pm

Yep, I've gotten the over-analytical one, TOO!! I've been told that I should've been a lawyer, cuz I can say ONE thing, a THOUSAND different ways. (This is when I didn't think I was being understood, so I re-worded it, and took another stab at it.) I've been told I'm lazy, too. I've been told that I'm not very humble (my guess is, it's because I'm not shy, and I say what I think, pretty much). I've been told: "Cat, people dislike you just as much for being able to say 'I was wrong', as they do, when you're right, so often" (what'm I suppose to do with THAT?? LOL).

That was, pretty much, up until / through my 30s, I would say. People haven't complained about me, much, in the last..... decade, maybe----at least, they haven't verbalized it, and I wouldn't know, any other way.



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24 Dec 2014, 1:06 pm

I guess people may find me off-putting because I'm prone to saying the wrong things at the wrong time. I'm too talkative when it's best to be calm, and too calm when it's best to be talkative.


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FireyInspiration
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24 Dec 2014, 1:12 pm

unnatural, almost robotic body language and general awkwardness



Protogenoi
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24 Dec 2014, 1:41 pm

agwood wrote:
TheSperg wrote:
Some people can tell I am basically faking and wearing a human mask of sorts, this can really creep them out and make them think I am a psycho or something. Even though I'm really nice and don't want to be myself because lack of facial expressions and flat affect tend to creep people out too. They can tell I am acting and it bothers them.

Kind of damned if you do, damned if you don't.


That's ironic, because the true psychos are the people that you trust the most. People are never able to spot them until they commit the crime.


Unless you have been trained to spot psychos.

But some psychos never actually commit a crime, up to 1/4 operate legally. But they'll all screw you over one way or another.


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Protogenoi
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24 Dec 2014, 1:48 pm

Well...

1. I look "Metal"
2. I have very little capacity for spontaneous speech. If you initiate contact, I will struggle for words... sometimes even if I know you well.

Probably a lot more to it.


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ToughDiamond
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24 Dec 2014, 3:33 pm

They didn't tell me very often, so I've not got much data. A long time ago I heard that I always looked lost at a youth club I went to, which apparently was a put-off. I did try socialising with them but I didn't have a clue, and I don't suppose my mistakes went down very well either. I learned to look less lost, but still wouldn't rate my chances of doing well socially in a room full of people, so I tend to stick to very small numbers and that works a lot better.

Best guess, I can seem aloof and don't often reciprocate social gestures. Also I don't like most mainstream interests. I was doing some good music with a friend for a few years, but we eventually stopped because I was too perfectionist and he wasn't perfectionist enough. I've also probably accidentally offended people by being too blunt.

The subject doesn't come up much these days, because I'm fairly content socially and my few friendships are stable, so I'm not really looking for anything that people could be put off from giving me.



olympiadis
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24 Dec 2014, 4:06 pm

Protogenoi wrote:
But some psychos never actually commit a crime, up to 1/4 operate legally. But they'll all screw you over one way or another.


+1
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Generally, inappropriate behavior and rejection of the hive mind (group think), but of course that can mean about anything.
Specifically, an overall "negative" attitude even if it's just neutral, or if I'm only pointing out facts or factors about something that can't be labeled "positive". An attitude that I know everything and am always right. The assumption being that I present information to them with the sense of proving that I'm better in some way than they are, thus displacing them within a hierarchal structure. That is never my intent, but is almost always read as such. It's hard for most normal people to understand any other reason why I (or anyone) would want to state information for any other purpose.

It seems that I'm expected to be deceptively competitive and emotionally reciprocal, but my just being myself totally screws that up.
I almost never respond to other people in the way that they seem to expect. It's as if they do specific things to manipulate me for a certain reaction, and it fails to work with me.
People try to "hint around" in order to drive me to some specific conclusion, and I end up reaching a completely different conclusion.

Blunted affect. Attenuated emotional responses.

It's as if you don't lend yourself easily to emotional manipulation, then people have little use for you.

I'm generally not cooperative or competitive whenever I'm expected to be or pressured to be.

I give short and honest answers to questions inappropriately. People are very put off by that.


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