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Sorry to hear about what happened, Steel Maiden. Don't punish yourself over your mother's actions.

Thank you all. I have three hours before my two friends come. I am really anxious.

I'm going to ask my care coordinator and support worker if they can talk to my mum again, as she doesn't understand the social overload she's putting me under.

I am inclined to second this. As long as it doesn't cause her to fly off the handle again, if it were me, I'd expect an apology for something like that.

My mum rarely apologises but I could try.

Friends are helping. One's autistic and the other is her understanding boyfriend. So we've been relaxing.

I feel good that you feel relaxed.

You were in the right and your mum was in the wrong. It seems that your mum overreacted. You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes I think parents have their own agendas and they don't think about how their autistic offspring are going to take it. That wouldn't happen in a perfect world, and it's not a perfect world.

Sweet Pea hugs

Why is it that as children, we assume that we have all the problems, so that when we are offended against by our parents, we take the high moral ground and expect an apology to come from our parents? My experience is that apologies are rarely forthcoming. In Steel Maiden's case, she suspects her mother is an alcoholic. Alcoholics become alcoholics for a reason. I don't know if it helps Steel Maiden's situation knowing that her mother is an alcoholic, but I think it mitigates Steel Maiden's mother's behaviour towards her daughter. If the mother was to get help for her addiction, she could perhaps become a better mother to Steel Maiden. I hope it can all be resolved because it would be nice for Steel Maiden to have a decent relationship with her mother.

Thanks.

My mum has never understood me. Even as a six year old she'd be trying to tear my hair out while I was having a meltdown, thinking that grabbing handfuls of my hair would somehow stop me.

I know it's hard to forget the past--especially when you have sensory issues, and people exacerbate them.

I'm rooting for you, Steel Maiden!

Did you have a good New Years with your friends?

Does your mother understand how much she upset you with this text? You should show her the text and explain how hurtful and confusing it was. She should know that her actions have consequences.

However if she's incapable of taking responsibility for her behaviour then it might be better to avoid conflict and learn to be less upset when someone does something like this. Try to remind yourself that she is the one with the problem here.

I have a father whom I'm no longer in contact with who would never apologise when he did or said something hurtful. He just acted like it never happened and expected everyone to just forget about it. He wasn't an alcoholic but he was bipolar so his behaviour was erratic and disturbing at times.

Understood.

My support worker reminds me to not reference to past bad experiences so that I don't dwell on them. It's easily said but not easily done.

My mum 90% cannot accept she is wrong and 10% tries to understand. She does sometimes say sorry but usually only after upsetting me to the extreme which results in me freaking out.

I will remind myself that she is the problem.

She just called me on my mobile. She was very kind (perhaps faslely kind?) but she kept me on the phone for 37 minutes, which overloaded me. After the phone call, I had to meditate and take some extra meds because talking overloads me.

I'm thinking of blocking her calls on my phone. She wouldn't find out as it would just go straight to voicemail when she calls me.

Oh come the f**k on, no it is not. Obviously something else is going wrong with her and she took it out on you, you did nothing wrong.

I agree with everyone else that it's your mom who has a problem in this case, not you. One way I try to stay calm when I have to deal with people like that is I try to re-frame it, would I get upset if my cat did this? See, my therapist (after completely failing with every other method she tried) explained that people are like cats. Sometimes my cat is in a bad mood and scratches, but rather than get upset I just walk away from him and leave him be. Of course, I tend to be better at reading my cat, but that's not anybody's fault.

I don't mean to blame you for having a meltdown, I probably would have had one too if that happened to me. I just thought the cat thing might be useful, it made a lot of sense to me.

I hope you are doing better, and I hope your mom stops making things worse for you.

Thanks. I'll talk to my support worker about perhaps another meeting with my mum.