Is there anyone here who is not obnoxious?

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I'm sometimes described as being charismatic and others sometimes expect me to the be one to "light up the room," and all that. Sometimes I feel like that, others not so much - yet I still get plenty of positive attention from others even when I'm not feeling so awesome. I suppose I'm a bit more that way to some people than I think I am myself. Hmm.

My ASD friend I've chatted with you about is quite the centre of attention at his very social service job and people (besides me) go to his work just to hang out with him.

Obnoxious usually implies somewhat of a showoff, which is not what I'd say is typical for an Aspie. I have been called an as*hole more than once though.

What part of "Social Deficits" would cause anyone to be viewed to...

?

I wouldn't associate obnoxious with being a showoff like that. I just think of obnoxious as someone who is extremely annoying. People can certainly be that way without showing off in the least bit. I've been in the presence of some aspies I find to be a bit obnoxious - that I'd never choose to spend much time around. Then there are others, like my closest friend, who I adore spending time with. It depends entirely upon their individual ASD traits & personalities. And, of course, my own personal bias - I'm going to tolerate a lot more annoying things from those I love than those I can't stand being around.

I know I am really nice-natured. I have good intentions to be friendly, caring and open-minded. I don't judge people for their differences. I care (too much) about other peoples feelings, and sometimes I'm thinking so much about others that I forget about myself. Also I'm far from blunt. Ok I like to be honest to the point where people can trust me, but I know how and when to lie to save someone's feelings, even when someone wants my honest opinion I still find it awkward. I cannot stand the feeling of upsetting people. I can get easily stressed and overwhelmed, but I don't upset other people when feeling stressed out. Instead I just yell out how I feel and may be a little erratic in my body language but I am not abusive or violent towards anybody.
About what I said about the thinking of others too much, here's an example: yesterday I went out to buy some dinner for myself and my partner and his 2 mates. I remembered what they liked, so I got them that, and then spent ages choosing a surprise treat for them which I also knew they would like. And when they came in they were very pleased to see their favourite meals for later, plus the surprises. Then my partner asked me where my dinner was. It was then that I realised I had forgotten to get myself any dinner. He offered me his meal, but I told him it's his meal. I make this mistake a lot.

Yet, wherever I go (job-wise), people start to dislike me, and treat me like I'm unimportant. I've even got picked on before just because of a few quirky personality traits what don't (or shouldn't) interfere with a casual friendship. I just hope my partner will love me forever, because my quirks do not interfere with how I emotionally connect with others. I do have a lot of empathy too.

LOL...You should have went out and got your dinner, too!

Cant recall ever being called "obnoxious".

It's a little more grey than that. I'm quiet and serious except for the occasional joke, but that makes me neither nice nor popular. Plenty of people more obnoxious than I am are better at networking and have more friends. So are plenty of less obnoxious people.

Better to be obnoxious than noxious!

I've learned to curb my special interest lecturing and to become more of a listener who takes interest in others. But I also have sneaky ways of steering group conversations in the direction of my interests. The trick is to find a "link" in someone's topic that will get people talking about a related topic that you know can be linked to one of your special interests. Unfortunately my sister often catches me red-handed when I try this.

IRL, I'm the guy that gets along with everyone and is pretty universally liked, though I wouldn't go so far as room lighting up. Online, a different aspect of my personality is emphasized, as I'm unlikely to join a conversation simply to agree with people, and so I come off as more aggressive than I actually am.

I am only obnoxious toward those I see as willfully stupid

I'm not obnoxious, but that's only my opinion. Everyone else thinks I am. So, big deal, think I care.

Looks like you have the generally accepted definition(#1), while I was going with #2:

1. highly objectionable or offensive; odious:
obnoxious behavior.

2. annoying or objectionable due to being a showoff or attracting undue attention to oneself:
an obnoxious little brat.

Some deficits are more "obnoxious" than others.

My son is very sweet and gentle and his biggest deficits fall in areas related to difficulty picking up on nonverbals and interpreting figurative language. He is also immature for his age. But because he is so laid back and eager to please, I think most people would call him sweet and kind. He does not get along with everyone, though, because...well...he's odd and some people don't do odd well. I honestly think that anyone who gives him a chance will like him though. And he is very forgiving, so everyone gets as many chances as they need/want. More than one kid who started out teasing him has ended up liking him.

My daughter, on the other hand, can be sweet and kind...until something doesn't go her way. Then she can be rigid and overbearing. She also has a tendency to view other people's intentions as negative, even when they weren't, so there are a lot more social issues with her peers. She does not get along with everyone, and I think it is because they find her bossy, unpredictable and too sensitive. Although the kids who do like her seem to like her a lot and tolerate the more negative aspects of her personality with grace.

As for me, people seem to either really like me or really hate me. This is true IRL and online.

Most often, people tell me that I'm likeable (and some even go as far as to say I'm charming. No, really!). Having said that, this is after years of analysing the behaviour of neurotypicals and adopting the traits that I like and those that strike me as being helpful within social interactions.
People I'm well acquainted often claim that I'm 'happy go lucky', eccentric and occasionally blunt, though those closest to me are more aware of the firecracker I can be when my buttons are sufficiently pushed. Oh well. You can't be on your game all of the time!

I'm more of a Sweet Pea than anything. I like to help others out and make them happy. I'm also very sensitive and kind. I also be as polite as I can, because I want the whole world to see me as the Sweet Pea that I am.