Is the thought of friendship overwhelming to you?

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Me too. Except in the early days when I was in a band, actively seeking out new musicians and gigs for my special interest, I've hardly ever initiated anything social. I still mess with music but the people I now play with do all the organising and just invite me along. Even partners, I really didn't go out on a limb very much at all, apart from one or two isolated incidents, I'd do nothing without some sign of interest or warmth from them, and I'd merely reciprocate it, though sometimes I'd increase the warmth a little, but it was nearly always my responding to a move from them. Occasionally I talk to people before they talk to me, and it's usually easier than I was expecting it to be, but it always feels difficult to make that start, and I soon run out of ideas.

Advantages: I don't have to do this risky initiating thing or take responsibility for something I'm not good at. I know I'm not imposing on anybody, it was their idea, so they're presumably interested in me, which is reassuring.
Disadvantages: Social encounters are limited by the whims of the rest of the world, and if I'm selective about the invitations I get, the numbers can become very small. It's not as passive as it looks though. If you limit your behaviour to reacting rather than being proactive, you still have a lot of choice about the nature of your reactions, and can still make pretty big waves once somebody else has broken the ground a bit.

Like if I were to want to quit a club, job, or if I wanted to drop out of college or transfer. I would feel trapped by the people that I know well in them already.

That makes sense. I am in a book club that I do not enjoy AT ALL and have no idea how to bow out of it gracefully. Let me know if you have any ideas!! ! I usually just find myself coming up with excuses as to why I can't go. None of them are Aspies hence the books they pick are trite (in my opinion). And the conversations tend to be a little shallow.

Aside from that, I hate being locked into a book especially if I have no interest whatsoever in reading it. I wish there were book clubs where you could just talk about books and share opinions and recommendations. I used to work with a couple of intellectual people awhile back who loved to read (ok....they went to Harvard but whatever). We used to talk about books all the time. I LOVED listening to them talk because they had so much knowledge and insight. This probably sounds bazaar, but sometimes I wish I was born during the time of Socrates where people just sat around and talked philosophy all day!! !

I always want friends, but when I get one I don't particularly enjoy it. I don't like having someone always being near you and watching you. Also, I feel pressured to always be interesting and funny and always be talking to that person. I often find myself getting irritable and annoyed with friends after spending too much time with them. I need my alone time.

Friends they tend to clash with special interests and routine.

At times I am too busy with my interests to even think about contacting anyone for whole months and even when I remember I don't do it because I know that if I decide to contact them they will take way too much of my time. I tend to be all or nothing. When I actually met with my friends its not just a meeting but whole day trip or a sleepover. It tires me out, messes my routine and makes me anxious for a few next days but I can't help it and try being a good friend for the long hours when we are together. And I often don't realize I'm on my limit till I get alone and suddenly collapse (not literally collapse - just realize I have no more strength to do anything else).

My lack of initiative is probably the reason why I lost mot of my friends by now. Only a single girl still contacts me out of the 5 people that were my friends in high school times. There is also still a boy but we didn't see each other for a few months already and I feel like he is slowly getting out, just like the 3 people did before.

The fun part is I don't really mind having acquaintances at school or workplaces - so I have someone to talk to during the breaks or on the way to bus stop. But I don't like anyone messing up with my free time. If I have no reason to go out from home I don't want to leave just because a friend wants to met up. Sure, we can go to watch an interestnig movie in cinema or go to a swimming pool to swim together. But not to a local bar or on a pointless walk just to talk about "how things are going".

I think I might be able to successfully keep a friend if he/she was living in the same house and we could keep similar routine. I don't mind talking during dinner or shopping because I have to spend time eating or shopping anyway. But organizing the met up and wasting free time is too much for me. Do I really have to change my routine for the sake of socializing? Why can't socializing accommodate to my routine?

BTW. What I say about friendship is also true about relationships in general. There is a boy I like in my school but I don't plan confessing to him just because I don't feel like meting him outside of school for dates. I have better stuffs to do with my free time and dates don't seem like fun at all. I prefer just to see with him at school as an acquaintance with no hope of anything more than do the whole dating thing.

I don't think they'd be called good ideas. I usually butcher my exits by just disappearing off the face of the earth by breaking all lines of connection. I've got anxiety to max.

I guess this is where my being called blunt comes in... I most likely would say, "I'm sorry but this book just isn't doing it for me, and I don't have time to read something I don't like. I think you all are great, but I'm gonna bow out."

Yes, that would win me "blunt person of the year" award. And I wonder why I don't have friends. Ugh. Just can't make myself participate in twaddle.

I, too, could go for very deep philosophical conversations. They are mentally cleansing.