When did you discover nonverbal was important?

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Probably in a class ~ can't remember which. I remember thinking "Oh, that can't be right....."

30-40 years later I still constantly forget to apply the knowledge.

Long before I discovered just how important verbal was .... it seems like I've always known nonverbal was important, so maybe infancy?

I don't always pick up on or understand the nonverbal, but I don't think I've ever been generally oblivious to nonverbal communication nor unaware of its importance.

My father had multiple books on reading body language when I was growing up. He was a policeman and most likely an Aspie. I started my formal research on facial expressions in 1996 when I was about 25 years old. I could not understand why I was so terrible at decoding facial expressions until late last year upon my formal diagnosis.

The question as to what neurocognitive 'blocks' prevent accurate facial expression decoding among Aspies and how these 'blocks' emerged during development is a mystery to me. Perhaps someone here knows of some solid neurobiological findings on this important topic?

After a few decades of annoying people and pissing people off without the slightest clue what I had said or done wrong. Also after a number of occasions of discovering that whatever social group I was in - I would find myself shocked that people were angry at me and had been for some time and I neither had any idea why or even that they were upset with me.

I would say that during my mid to late 30's I did get a little more socially astute. I did start making and holding eye contact. I did become more interactive in my dealings with people.

I've seem to have had at least a basic understanding of nonverbal language for a while now (since mid-teens). For whatever reason, as an aspie, I've never really had that much issue with things that aspies typically struggle with (verbal language, eye contact, etc). No idea why.

Great point....I NEVER thought about it until I learned about aspergers/autism etc.....so I started actually trying to think about it a year or two ago (even after I found out about aspergers I never got to that aspect until later)....and at the end of the day I said screw this crap.....I really could care less about body language. The only thing I have changed is to stand up straight. I tighten my belt up and it helps me walk more upright- I have evolved out of the neanderthal.

also there seems to be a difference in processing speed, and since most body language is transient [blink and you miss it] the inability to see quick events in detail is a crucial addlement.

IOW we types might be better at seeing stationary differences/details while they might be better at seeing moving or transient details. "differently abled."

Since I was a young kid I guess.

Mom was always explaining to me that I should be able to read my father mood because I was often bothering him when he was angry and avoiding him when he wanted my attention. I had no idea what she means but she was always right with her guesses about dads mood so I was sure there is some sort of hidden language that I have to learn. And I tried my best. I was failing a lot but eventually learned how to recognize some of the cues, following her advices. Now I can distinguish happy from angry if I focus but I still have trouble with dimmer emotions.

I read about body language when it because a fashionable subject in the 1970s, when I was in my 20s. I was hoping to enhance my social skills. I found it interesting but not really useful. I can't remember many real-life situations when I've noticed anything important through consciously observing body language, apart from very obvious things. It seemed clear from the books that it's hard to consciously alter - while you're focussing on controlling your hand signals, your feet are giving the game away. I pretty much abandoned it without realising I had any particular problem with it, until I was diagnosed many years later.

Going back to facial recognition. I heard a body language expert say that looking into someone's eyes is the first step for you to remember their face. Maybe this is why so many of us forget faces or at least partially why. I believe the eyes are mysterious and beautiful. Truly the windows to the true spirit of a person.

I have no idea. If I haven't noticed it, I haven't noticed that I haven't noticed it. I've only noticed that most people's conversations seem to go more smoothly than mine and I wonder if they're exchanging something I don't manage to convey. So I guess the answer is when I started discussing my ASD and trying to learn more about ways to deal with it, which has only been in the last couple of months.

The bit that's missing isn't the ability to recognize, it's the ability to do it in the sub-500ms framework necessary for responses to be recognized. We think, and by the time we've done that the conversation's moved on and left us behind.

I'd been through twenty years of personal development work before I managed to drop the assumption that everyone else was just like me.