How to increase my chances of success in life

Post Reply New Topic

First of don't worry I'm not upset:)
Do you realize that you are contradicting yourself? Why apologize? Is that not a reaction to an emotion or a social construct that has nothing to do with logic? Anyways it is nice to know that you are not a robot
I believe that humanity is constructed of individuals, and individuals have free will. Naturally, exercising the free will can be very difficult at times because of social demands, laws and so on.





I believe that sometimes you are not aware that you are incomplete until you find something or someone that makes you feel something that you were not capable of before.

I wasn't trying to attack you, that's why I said I'm sorry. Even though it was merely one line, I did mean it when I said I'm glad you're happy with your relationship-- I'm not trying to convince you it's wrong or bad or anything of that matter. I'm merely saying that there are deeper more complex issues at the foundation of relationships than most people think about.
Yes, I'm not a robot, I do feel emotion-- but I trust logic more than emotion. It's been my experience that I do better following logic than emotions, since emotions can be volatile and senseless at times-- it's a result of a severe eight year depression I suffered as a teenager/young adult. I find working past emotions in pursuit of logical conclusions to be more satisfying that letting emotions control my beliefs.


I would say it's a matter of semantics then. Let's say you purchase a house, assuming that's it's been well constructed and in good shape, it's a complete house and doesn't need anything else to be considered a house-- but that doesn't mean you can't put on additions, or decorate, or repaint to make it look better. My point being, you were a full human before you met your partner, he/she may have helped you make some additions, but that doesn't mean you weren't fully human before.

So you are more of a Vulcan I can understand what you are saying. But I am in a relationship, because of the person I'm with, nothing else. I understand that there are rules and it is seen as the right thing by society to find a partner, but if I had not met him I would still be alone. My “hearth“ made the decision to trust him, my brain told me to run away because I might get hurt.
I understand your need to push down your emotions and not let them run your life; I know very well what negative controlling feelings can do to one’s life. But it is a shame to forgo the good feelings out of fear for the bad ones.



In my case I think that before I met my partner, I was less human. I really believe so, it might sound strange and weak but it is how I feel. What I gained was someone that anchors me. What he gained I'm still not sure about.

Just wanted to apologize to the OP for hijacking the thread for a few posts. My recommendation is aptitude first. Find what you're good at and work on it-- it'll be a well of self-esteem to accomplish other things. If you go for the girlfriend/own place you're gonna be dealing with other people that may not necessarily have your best interests in mind. Aptitude/skills/etc-- those are things you can do without others and their judgement. That's not to say you need to put off any kind of socialization, or not pursue the other desires, but I would strongly suggest spending the bulk of your focus finding some skills you enjoy doing first.

--to Bondkatten. I respect your feelings and ideas. I may not agree with everything all the time, but that doesn't mean I don't value your perspective. After looking through the thread again, I think the majority of our debate we were talking about apples and oranges. As for vulcan, and emotional repression, it's nothing like that-- emotions very often don't feel satisfying to me, but using the logical side of my brain to challenge my own beliefs and the beliefs I encounter does. I have a love for deep thinking, not the same as the love you have for your boyfriend obviously, but still completely necessary for my "completeness".

I think so to, and please don't think that I think less of your way of life or anyone else’s, I think we all should do what makes us happy and complete (as long as we are not hurting anyone). Nobodys way or life is better; we all are what we are.

Try new things, but stick with them long enough to see results. If you don't know your aptitudes yet, you'll bump into them eventually when you're testing what's out there. If you don't stick with any of them and find solutions to the hard parts, though, it won't develop as a skill.