"You can't be an aspie you're too sociable!"

Post Reply New Topic

I don't think that introversion is necessary for an ASD, of course that depends on how introversion is defined.

Social anxiety is not what initially causes social problems for people with ASD; it just seems that they nearly always co-occur as they would with anyone who is shunned socially, and so the social anxiety itself also causes problems.

I think whether or not asperger's applies is based on functionality. And that said, I think that you are supporting the teacher's point by the post where you've said that, for instance, you know you need to talk to her, you know you need to communicate with her, you purposefully butter her up (or whatever sentence you used). These are all things that I don't think most aspies do, either because they try and fail or they don't know they're supposed to do them in the first place. Like, knowing that you have to act that way is itself knowledge that some ASD people don't even have, much less then have the proper skills to follow through.

Definitions are hard, especially when they describe people. Internal states of mind are even harder to get through. That is why so many mental health issues (please let's not bandy terms here, I'm not out to offend), issues whose basis are the functioning of the mind, are diagnosed on usually easily observable behaviour.

I think that has a lot more to do with being in college for 3 years and trying and failing to succeed. Just because it is something that a NT has recognized does not mean that I'm proving her right, because there are sooo many more factors to it. My point in this post is to express my frustration with the popular idea that there is only one definition for aspergers/autism. Just because I have learned to hide my symptoms does not mean that my symptoms do not exist. Sure im one of very few that can look a person in the eyes, but I almost never do with my glasses on and I really like the different colors in iris'. There is so much that most people don't see, and they don't realize that its just because I don't want them to see it.

I can be pretty sociable and I am an aspie.

I also fall into the social aspie category.

I can be social when I feel like it.

I care too much about my social life, and I feel depressed if I go too long without social interaction with another human. If I don't feel accepted or approved, it has a negative affect on my thoughts and performance. Like for example, I'm scared to go on a training course or get a new job, because I'd have to do it on my own and I'm more scared about what the other people will be like than what the actual work is. If nobody talks to me or are a bunch of cliquey girls who I cannot fit in with, I get depressed and feel lonely and isolated, and then it will affect how I perform my work, and I don't think I would learn properly. If I attended a training course with friendly people of all different types, I can learn much better, because feeling happy and at ease and laughing is really good for relieving stress and can help to focus. Also it's nice to have people to talk to at coffee breaks, or ask if you need help with anything, or share ideas and how you feel, etc.

A lot of Aspies cannot relate to what I've just written. Most Aspies will be like ''you're there to learn/earn money, not to make friends. If they don't talk to you then they're not worth knowing anyway, so just focus on what you've got to do.'' But really, my social performance and how well I am accepted means an awful lot to me. I am a shy person though, but I am friendly. I always smile and/or say good morning or whatever to people, and try to engage to them by making small talk. It's not in my nature to just look away from people and never attempt to get to know anybody. So I know that I make friendly moves, but I am also shy, so I shouldn't just be the responsible one of starting a friendship with a person. It takes two, and shouldn't all be blamed on the shy person. But being shy and having social anxiety does not mean you don't want friends.

Well put! This matches my experience, too.

All the comments so far just go to prove that there are way too many erroneous stereotypes applied to Aspiens, and that as a group they are as diverse as NTs.

It's with noting, however, that when it comes to doing the social, people on the spectrum go for quality, not quantity. Whereas for NTs it tends to be the opposite.