Coping Skills denied and is it right?

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Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 20, 2005
Posts: 601
Location: San Francisco
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 10:58 am    
Post subject: I am off to work now!
----------------------------------------
I will be back for another FIREY
episode of as the NT-Burns!

BACK IN A HOUR! I am off to
work and PLEASE CONTINUE
THIS DEBATE OF NT-Abuse!

Hmmmm?

Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 31, 2004
Posts: 202
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 10:35 am    
Post subject:
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Ghosthunter:

Are these people not helpful?
_________________
Jason Larsen

Tucan
Joined: Jan 27, 2005
Posts: 251
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 10:46 am    
Post subject:
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Ghosthunter I was scolded and punished for
stimming when I was a child. I just learned to
hide it. When I couldn't hide or was in a situation
where I couldn't stim, I would develope terrible
stomach aches. That was my bodys release.

Even today, 50 years later, if I am in a situation
where I know I can't stim, I develope a stomach
ache. If things become too over-whelming, I have
a major meltdown.

Stimming is a form of release. NOONE should be
forced to cede any kind of coping mechanism!

Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 01, 2005
Posts: 128
Location: Upper Midwest, USA
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 11:00 am    
Post subject:
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GH,

I admire your spirit and commitment. I was not
offended and thank you.

I am just so saddened when people don't understand.
I am trying not to judge asianmom. She loves her child
and is trying to do her best by him. If she didn't care,
she wouldn't have posted. Yet I think how much it would
hurt my son if I did that to him.

Snowy Owl
Joined: Apr 24, 2005
Posts: 155
Location: St. Louis
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 12:18 pm    
Post subject: ...
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I think Asianmom was more focused on the social
consequences of her son's stimming (this I have
noticed is a very NT thing-- and also to assume
that ASers/HFAers want to be just as social as NTs
do; I would like some socializing, but I value my time
alone more). But I think with her coming from the social
aspect being the most important, she doesn't perhaps
realize her son's poin of view. Honestly, I would go
absolutely insane if I could not stim. Sometimes I
cannot help it and the impulse is almost unbearable.
Especially when I am anxious. When I am just excited
I am better able to stop myself or to limit it. But with
anxiety, it is just too much to handle. It explodes out of
me.

Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 18, 2004
Posts: 775
Location: bristol, u.k.
Posted: Sat May 07, 2005 2:46 pm    
Post subject:
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then, as usual, education is the key.
EXPLAIN to people what AS and autism
involves. shouting at them still doesn't help
(morgvis waits for someone to tell her she's
anti-aspie, again... yawn).

From Ghosthunter....
I like this idea of explaining to her
(asianmom) about autism and it's
affects.

From Vetivert.....
i've been very actively involved in raising autism
awareness at the college at which i study and
work. and next week, they're having a whole
session on autism as part of their Awareness
Week - i wonder how many places include autism
in their "disability awareness" programmes?
(and i'm not getting into the "is AS a disability?"
thing here - it's being discussed and highlighted,
thank gods).

From Ghosthunter....
It is a strength and can have some
disabling effects, hence forth coping
skills being harnessed.

From Vetivert....
most of the population has very little idea about
autism, full stop. it isn't an NT conspiracy, it isn't
deliberate persecution of people with autism, it's
mainly ignorance. i honestly cannot think of anyone
i've told about my AS who hasn't tried to accomodate
it, or been interested in finding out more about it, and
that's on a personal AND a professional level. maybe
that's because i've been existing in an NT world AS AN
NT for over 40 years (i didn't know i had AS until last
year).

From Ghosthunter....
this area of coping skill applies to me too.
I didn't fully grasp autism until 38.75 years.
My coping skills were silent skills learned.
Ones that trial and error taught, not expressed
directly as autistic coping skills.

The child is 8 and is better to grasp these skills
by learning about why? not the what they do!
Thus education at a young age is key, not a
disability. The coping skills are better harnessed
by catching it at young age, not when you have
fell victim to aspects of our NT world around
us first.

From Verivert...
life ain't fair, people. get used to it. and then see where
you can really change things. i'd rather get results by
playing by the majority rules, than make a stand which
doesn't actually get anywhere. and it's only by making
these small changes that the rules get changed - that's
the way it is.

GH,

I admire your spirit and commitment. I was not offended and thank you.

I am just so saddened when people don't understand. I am trying not to judge asianmom. She loves her child and is trying to do her best by him. If she didn't care, she wouldn't have posted. Yet I think how much it would hurt my son if I did that to him.

BeeBee

Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 09, 2004
Posts: 393
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

I'm sorry but I feel its disturbing that her
post was analyzed in the way it was instead
of simply creating a thread based on people's
opinions on being allowed to stim and the
repercussions, not one degrading another
individuals post through analysis (Sorry GH
but overanalyzing can be just as bad as
underanalyzing things, sometimes it can get
out of hand and actually offend and hurt people
that simply want understanding not to be picked
apart like a research study lab animal.)

Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 09, 2004
Posts: 393
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

One paintbrush isn't used simply to apply one
type of paint but many and we're all different
no matter if we all share one diagnostic label
or not and to analyze things like HFA vs AS is
like putting AS on one side of the fence and
Autistic Disorder (Autism including HFA) on the
other. It places a divide between us all as 'autistics'.
This is just my feeling on things.

Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 11, 2005
Posts: 821
Location: UK
Posted: Sun May 08, 2005 9:36 am    
Post subject:
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This is an old chestnut with no easy answer.
Fact is it is us who are aspies who have the
problem and need to do something about it,
not the 99.7% of the population who aren't.
Trying to start some crusade to make the NT
unbeliever bow down before us as we pass in
the street as some seem to believe is pure
bunkum! We just have to fit in as best as.
Stimming is an involuntary necessity for many
of us (me included to an extent) that obviously
makes the task harder, but we still just have to
cope with it as best we can..... And yes, life does
stink - don't I just know it!

P.S. I'm still a little disturbed by this AS vs. HFA
that appears to be going in some quarters.... What's
the pigging difference, when all's said and done?