Irrational & Random Anger/Rage

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Campin_Cat
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25 May 2015, 1:24 pm

Norny wrote:

...but I never do anything about it. I am always too worried/CBF seeing somebody about anything because I don't want medication.

This may be the crux of the whole situation, right there----you never do anything about it, so it just festers, and rears its ugly head, every-so-often. I totally understand not wanting to take medication----but, there are alternatives..... One, being "talk therapy"; two, as someone else suggested, keeping a journal so you work-out what the problem(s) is / are.

Here's the thing..... You don't wanna seek help, but you're not succeeding in fixing yourself, yourself----if you receive help, you've got a better chance than you seem to have, right now!

I think, sometimes, that people don't choose to seek help because they're afraid they might find-out something really horrible about themselves----I have an uncle like this----but, as I stated before, your life is pretty horrible, NOW; and, with help, you've got, at least, a 50/50 chance of it getting, better----whereas, if you DON'T get help, by your own admission, you have NO chance of getting better!

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B19
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25 May 2015, 3:07 pm

Norny, may I suggest you go back to where this began and look for some triggering event that you may not have noticed at the time. Something that hooked in to some past hurt and reactivated it. Sometimes dreams through up some clues to this, or possibly you met someone new who in some way strongly reminded you at a subconscious level of a past abuser or past abusive incident, where you were either powerless, invalidated, dimished or attacked in some way. These echoes, once reactivated, can release old stored rage which has been buried, and are signs that there is some issue that you haven't fully acknowledged or resolved. Try journalling, that can often help clarify what's going on. These feelings don't actually come out of nowhere, there is always something driving them.

Feeling the rage can actually be part of the healing process; we can't resolve events that aren't fully recognised for what they are.

guzzle
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26 May 2015, 6:57 am

Norny wrote:

I'm having a random period of intense anger and feel incredibly destructive. I want to rage at somebody and I've got no idea why. I just feel like arguing the f**k out of something without caring and inflicting the frustrations I experience from others onto them. This is bad, because I don't care for innocence in the matter. It's also addictive, in that I feel far more motivated whilst angry than I do in any other state.

I'm so f*****g sick of thinking about everything that bothers me and though I'm not the smartest around I sometimes wish I was a dumbfuck, so that I could at least relax. I feel like an overclocked CPU without sufficient cooling, but I never do anything about it. I am always too worried/CBF seeing somebody about anything because I don't want medication.

It's a f****n' joke, seriously. How can everyone else just relax and be happy going about their lives. Even people I know with anxiety and depression seem more relaxed than I am - yes, based on their actions, but they do things I would/could never bring myself to currently do.

I rarely post a rant thread but I honestly couldn't care less what anybody thinks of me based on my posts. Of course I feel compelled to care, but I seem to automatically ignore that.

Christ almighty.

I watch what I eat. And drink. Make of the following what you want. Alternative medicine is not everyone's cup of tea. In this case it Chinese food therapy. Therapy being a loaded word. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinese_food_therapy

Quote:

Diet Guidelines for Liver Qi Stagnation
For there to be health the Qi of the body needs to flow smoothly throughout the
body. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM for short), the organ network that is
most affected by the stagnation of Qi is the Liver network.
Stress, irregular eating habits as well as synthetic substances (preservatives,
pharmaceuticals, and coloring agents, for example) all interfere with the Liver
network’s function of maintaining the even flow of Qi.
In general it is best to eat foods that are lightly cooked to ensure that nutrients
are preserved and are more readily digested and absorbed. General dietary
recommendations include regular eating times, eating moderate amounts and
chewing thoroughly to savor flavors. Eating while distracted or emotionally
stressed should be avoided.
Meals should consist largely of lightly cooked vegetables, roughly 40% to 60% of
your diet. About 30% of the diet should be comprised of complex carbohydrates.
Proteins should comprise only about 10% of the diet, with a focus on high quality
sources. The diet should also include plenty of fragrant and lightly spiced
dishes. Highly processed foods and well as oily and fatty foods should be avoided.
Below is a list of recommended foods. You should not limit your diet to only these
foods. Instead follow the guidelines above of the optimum ratios of
carbohydrates, vegetables and proteins, and add the recommended foods from the
list below within your meals. Where ever possible choose organically grown
foods.
Specific foods for Liver Qi Stagnation
onions, garlic, mustard greens, watercress, asparagus, taro root, cabbage,
turnip, cauliflower, broccoli, brussel sprouts, beets, jerusalem artichokes,
carrots, celery, small amounts of citrus
turmeric, basil, mint, horseradish, pepper, cardamon, cumin, fennel, dill,
ginger, small amounts of pickled vegetables.
small quantities of wine, coffee (no more than 1/day)
miso, soy sauce, rose and jasmine flowers
sprouted grains, sourdough breads, extra virgin olive oil, molasses
kumquats, tangerines, grapefruit, water chestnuts
Foods to restrict or avoid
cheese, eggs, cream, ice cream
red meats, nuts, pizzas, lard, shortening, margarine, deep fried foods
chilies, and excessively hot, spicy meals
beer and excessive intoxicants in general, raw vegetable juices, refined sugars
artificial preservatives, artificial colorings
http://www.eastmountain.ca/10liverqi.pdf

As far as frustrations caused by others sometimes they just can not be avoided ...

gaz34
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26 May 2015, 7:12 am

I was feeling this way for about a month until the last week or so but then it stopped. Now I'm back to general anxiety. It's best to just "ride it out" than give in to it I think as you can end up doing something you really regret if you don't keep your anger in check. Actually ideally it would be best to channel your rage into something more positive like kick boxing or something.

Last edited by gaz34 on 26 May 2015, 7:37 am, edited 3 times in total.

GiantHockeyFan
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26 May 2015, 7:27 am

I think I found my new avatar! :lol:

For the record, I chose my username because I am tall (nicknamed the Friendly Giant) and am a hockey fan and nothing more. I'm not as fanatical as I used to be but the username is my identity and there is no reason to change it or over think it. Ironically enough, ceiling fans were also one of my childhood obsessive interests!

Oh, and yes, I am male.

Quote:

I sometimes get upset at people, based upon what I consider "right". Basically, that people are not treating each other fairly and are taking advantage of others. While I never wanted to attack them personally, if I noticed repeated incidence of violation, I would hope that karma would ultimately catch up with them.

I would have never guessed that this was a symptom of depression.

I was surprised too but two different counselors picked up on this. Severe depression runs on both sides of the family so it really shouldn't be a total shock though. I should point out that I never would have attacked them, only that I was VERY tempted to. I can so upset when I see someone parked in front of a no parking zone it bothers me for hours on end. No wonder I would never be a cop!

Quote:

If it was depression, what was the root of depression, his side always losing (generally at least 50% of the time)? Why did it lead to aggression and almost assault?

I would say it was growing up in a home with sky high expectations and a high achieving brother made me into an obsessive perfectionist. I suppose not doing as well as my brother in life (and most of my peers) really cuts into the ego. I used to fly into a rage when I lost but not so much anymore.

anthropic_principle
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26 May 2015, 8:15 am

Im in a constant state of seething hatred and rage.. Im always miserable, and in chronic pain.. All I have is negativity.
I feel like hitting my fists through walls for the injustices ive received and for how pathetic and deprived my life is and has been, the chronic insufferable pain just boosts that.
Its gotten to a point where I want to just die and be free from it all.
I feel I will never be so much as content ever again.. My whole youth was wasted in depression and anxiety, and now I'm simply screwed and don't think I can recover from it..
Looks like I'm the one ranting now..

cavernio
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26 May 2015, 8:27 am

ADHD

http://sfhelp.org/site/intro.htm

Helps to know what you're angry about

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cavernio
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26 May 2015, 8:43 am

I get that overclocked feeling too, and all the emotions seem irrational but it turns out they aren't, they've just gone out of control, they cycle until the cycle breaks, and then depending on my mood, they seem to easily be able to cycle again.

Inertia is the best way to put it, what I am doing is what I end up doing. I'm either stuck or cycle into overdrive. Sometimes my mind is in overdrive while my body is in park, sometimes it's my body that wants to move but my mind is telling me to lie down. Sometimes there's congruence, which still isn't great because when it's 3am and I'm revved to go or it's 3pm and I've got s**t I've got to get done that I can't do, well that's a problem too.

I -need- the atmosphere around me, as given by the people around me, to function properly. I tend to get stuck in park when I'm alone. Extreme boredom leads to anger, considering my life and what I could be doing leads to anger because I lack the reliability to follow through with things or because my body gets stuck in park but the mind wants to do something.

Depression is an easy result of this, when the cycle is about something wherein I feel like I have low self-esteem, but rage is just as easy.

The psychiatrist I saw said that there are no medications to help with this, but that's just a bald-faced lie because stimulants are designed to help with this. But because anxiety is ALSO something I can experience with this crappy cycling, and because I was not hyperactive as a child when in class and was super smart as a child (so I learned the first time round and didn't have to pay attention to the rest of the lesson), I officially do not have adhd and so will not be given the drugs. Of course a cup of coffee can make my heart pound, so there's other reasons why probably not a good idea, but it's something I think you should look into.

Since my experience now is different from when I was on antidepressants the first time I tried them, they might actually help. If they cycling stops, it might be good for me, and I felt zombie-like on them when I was on them over a decade ago, but maybe that's exactly what I need now.

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cavernio
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26 May 2015, 8:46 am

I'm still waiting to start proper, regular appointments with a therapist, but I'm worried that it will not be the right thing for me, at least with the therapist I will be seeing. I do not think he has proper training to deal with my problems, which, along with this cycling thing, also includes lack of being able to convey my problems properly and is intense protection of not allowing my emotions through because when they do s**t hits the fan.

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Ban-Dodger
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26 May 2015, 4:41 pm

Putting "irrational" in front of anger/rage is a bit redundant. ANY decision made while angry or in a rage will rarely if ever be a "rational" decision. You need to watch your thoughts & do your utmost to keep negative thoughts out. I know it's not necessarily easy, especially if you always find yourself being reminded of certain thoughts or wrong-doings in the past for no apparent reason, but I've personally been there before myself, enough to the point where I could bona-fide call myself "psychotic" for about a three-year-period in my life, due to having absolute no remorse or care about whether others suffered or not (because all of humanity deserved it for as far as I was concerned).

You could always get a Wimhurst-Device, and any time you find thoughts coming into your mind that don't feel like your own, just activate the Wimhurst, applying that static-electricity to the back of your neck as a form of telling those thoughts to GTFO from your mental-processes.

Now for more reasons for everyone to stay off drugs...

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dianthus
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26 May 2015, 6:03 pm

B19 wrote:

Good advice.

Emotions have their own logic. They are always rooted in something.

starkid
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26 May 2015, 7:31 pm

guzzle wrote:

WHAT?! I clicked the link and there's no Kung Pao Tofu! :evil:

guzzle
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27 May 2015, 8:52 am

starkid wrote:

guzzle wrote:

WHAT?! I clicked the link and there's no Kung Pao Tofu! :evil:

Maybe try you local Chinese take-away

And while you stuff your face have a read at this maybe
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Antalarmin

I'd actually try it but not as a test person though :twisted:

Norny
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27 May 2015, 1:56 pm

CryosHypnoAeon wrote:

Ah, so after calling me a psychopath, on my own thread, you in a way, admit you are one. How Ironical

From the greek roots psycho: mind, and path/y(from greek "passos": pain, suffering. So in the classic sense you are a psychopath.

Yes, it is.

B19 wrote:

I try to do this but it usually ends with me automatically thinking of scenarios where I was raped as a kid or something like that, though I have no memory of anything like that. I'm honestly not sure if that's normal mind trickery or my OCD, but whatever, I ignore it.

I have a lot of bad memories, all of which contributed to my social anxiety etc. I just hate feeling helpless. I have always tried to turn my life around but it has failed miserably every single time - it's basically a repeat of my dad's life story.

Campin_Cat wrote:

Norny wrote:

...but I never do anything about it. I am always too worried/CBF seeing somebody about anything because I don't want medication.

Here's the thing..... You don't wanna seek help, but you're not succeeding in fixing yourself, yourself----if you receive help, you've got a better chance than you seem to have, right now!

I think, sometimes, that people don't choose to seek help because they're afraid they might find-out something really horrible about themselves----I have an uncle like this----but, as I stated before, your life is pretty horrible, NOW; and, with help, you've got, at least, a 50/50 chance of it getting, better----whereas, if you DON'T get help, by your own admission, you have NO chance of getting better!

Yes. I am afraid of finding out that I'm simply delusional and being blasted for just being lazy and a 'push-over' as I have been my whole life. Despite being raged at so many times I am still not used to the feeling of such invalidation.

I'm the 'part that bottlenecks a computer's performance - a pentium 4 inside a modern gaming PC' - quote my mind just now. :jester:

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B19
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27 May 2015, 5:11 pm

How long has this episode lasted for you? (These 'irrational' rage feelings?) Are they lessening now or escalating or just the same as when they began?

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