Why does everyone say "we can't diagnose you here"?

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And we don't do that. And even in the off chance someone did, these posts have been around since I joined the forum, people are always quick to offer sound, legitimate advice.

I didn't say it was actually likely, especially not if it was the only reason. I'm just saying, it could be a contributing factor to somebody's depression if they get that kind of a response from somewhere that they were hoping to get some help. Besides, my real point was that Fnord's idea was even more stupid than that. Somebody killing themselves because they were "diagnosed" on WP, and subsequently Alex and I somehow get sued because of it?

I have seen some people do that, but yeah, I haven't seen any where that's the only response. Most people try to be helpful. I probably made it seem like I think this is a bigger issue than it is, but really what it boils down to is that I just find it kind of pointless and annoying is all, and I'm wondering what makes it so necessary to say.

To avoid any problems, I might say:

"It seems possible that you might have an Autism Spectrum Disrorder....but nobody on an Internet Forum could determine this based merely on written words. One must seen, in person, on a consistent basis over a few days in order to even offer an informal determination.

"It would be best to be professionally assessed....but if this not possible, please note that you are welcome here as an equal whether you have a formal diagnosis or do not. This Site is for all those who seek to advance autism and those with autism. It would be quite okay to state that you are 'quite certain' that you have autism, absent a professional diagnosis."

"Also, ask yourself: what benefit would be derived from a professional assessment?

I agree that it can often seem an unkind thing to say, and may hurt peoples feelings.

The thing is, in order for Wrong Planet to be accepting of people on the spectrum, telling the truth even when it might hurt people's feelings shouldn't be off limits. I'm always winding up with someone mad at me or criticizing because no matter how hard I try to be nice, telling the truth, even for a desired outcome, is often unwelcome.

Maybe I am naive, but I think that, yes, Fnord saying this often seems unnecessarily unkind to me, too, but I know I do things that other people (strangely to me, I'm just trying to solve or prevent a problem) say are unnecessarily unkind, and, well, this is hopefully the one place where we can all be ourselves and tell the truth as we see it and, occasionally, find some understanding by others who feel similarly.

OP title: "Why does everyone say 'we can't diagnose you here'?"

In my opinion, it is something that individuals who were diagnosed early in their lives say (write) from a sense of entitlement (see Little Britain's "only gay in the village"). They attempt to deny to others the diagnosis that they were given before they even understood what it meant. "Oh, no! He's not gay. I am the only gay in the village." I believe that it is also a product of having something for a lifetime which others believe they can simply assume as easily as donning a new T-shirt. This is understandable, but it is unrealistic and exclusive. Sometimes, especially after the ASD community has grown to understand itself in both diagnostic and communal ways, it is possible to "spot" others with it. And, others may be able to see certain characteristics in themselves. That doesn't supplant what a professional diagnosis provides, but it is a new reality as the greater society learns more and more about it. I believe that what the individual who asks for a diagnosis means is "do you see in me what I see in myself?"

This reaction is a new normal. We can't have greater awareness without it influencing thoughts and beliefs about oneself and others. Those who resist even the discussion of a querying individual are, in my opinion, ASD Luddites. It harms no one when an individual questions characteristics in himself or herself. It harms no one to pursue or join a discussion about the questions. Research shows that self-report screening tests are useful to clinical assessments of ASD. Such tests are, therefore, useful to the individual, too, as a way to get closer to an understanding of the body of evidence that the individual considers. Nothing more. But, that can mean a lot to someone just beginning to explore the idea.

Finally, we have currently the explosion of adult diagnoses of ASD. Like myself, these adults have lived lives of survival where we could mask well enough to pass through life without much notice. It is wrong to treat them as attention-seekers or wannabees. I am more likely to recommend a younger person to seek a diagnosis than I am to recommend an older person. Younger individuals generally need diagnoses more so than older individuals. In both cases, however, screening tests can be a good start to help the individual learn more about themselves. If that results in a diagnosis, or just a learned self-awareness, then each individual benefits from the interaction.

We should be helping inquisitive new-comers, not insult them as we ignore their questions. Unfortunately, we still have a lot of Wrong Planetians who are, from an ASD perspective, "the only gays in the village." And, they will fight to keep it that way. Pathetic.

People will be offended, no matter what you say or how you say it. There is always at least one sad individual who will be offended by a concise and truthful statement, and who will post rant after rant describing what he or she thinks of the "offending" person. In the process, it is likely that the sad individual will be more offensive to more people with his or her lies and half-baked opinions than the one person who stated the one truth.

With that said, and knowing full well that someone (you know who you are, but I don't) will take offense when I say that Only appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professionals can make an official diagnosis of an ASD. Online tests can not provide an objective ASD diagnosis, either. Not even one of us here at WrongPlanet is qualified to make a valid diagnosis of an Autism Spectrum Disorder by reading a list of subjectively-perceived "symptoms" posted by a stranger.

And that's the truth!

Because we can't. There are lot of traits that mimic autism symptoms and personality and it's tough to tell because we don't know the person or about their history and we don't know how it affects them and what level they take it too and how they express it. Only a professional can tell because they are the expert and can read the DSM and know what it means. We are just being honest with ourselves instead of pretending to know what we are talking about.

"There are more things in [ASD], Horatio,
Than are dreamt of in your [diagnosis]."
--Shakespeare (De Vere)

That says it all, right there.

Four and one-half laughs for AU!

My first post here (in Dec 2012) asked a similar question (“Do I Have Aspergers, Or Simply Poor Social Skills?”). In that post, I asked the following question: “How do I discern if my social skills are "severely impaired" or just "simply poor"?

At the time, I had just learned about Asperger’s. While I didn’t realize it, I was actually looking for more information about Asperger’s and where to turn. I ended up getting two responses (one from League_Girl, thank you).

In my particular case, I would have been more than happy with the following boiler-plate response:

1. We cannot diagnose you here... (something similar to what Fnord writes)
2. Take a look at the DSM criteria (as objectivity as you can) and evaluate whether you suspect a specialist would diagnose you (which is what someone wrote)
3. The following are some resources you should research (which nobody suggested)

After that post, I spent the next four months researching Asperger’s in more depth. And, then had a professional diagnosis. I didn't post again (until after I was diagnosed).

This is what I am talking about! With some good advice, you did your own research in the lead up to a diagnosis. But, would you have considered your prep work wasted if you didn't get a diagnosis? Or, did it help you regardless of the diagnosis?

I don't mind the high volume of "am I autistic?" posts; I like being able to give people more information about the disorder, and subsequently perhaps teaching them a little about themselves. I'll often answer such posts specifically to provide the kind of connection and understanding they're looking for, because nine times out of ten, the first thing they see is Fnord essentially belittling them with his stock "only professionals can diagnose autism" quote. Yes, it may be true, but it's dismissive and frankly a little rude. If that had been the first response I'd received when I came here, I'd be reluctant to come back. I do tell people that I can't officially diagnose them, but immediately afterwards, I say, "based on what you wrote however..." and discuss how what they wrote makes it seem like they are/aren't on the spectrum. I usually also ask questions about traits they didn't mention, such as, "do you have sensory issues, do you have trouble socialising" etc. in order to give them a better understanding of what the whole disorder looks like, and to prompt more introspective thought about themselves and their symptoms. I think Fnord is being too literal by taking the question "am I autistic?" at face value without looking any deeper. The majority of people are not literally asking if anyone here can officially diagnose them, they're primarily asking if it sounds plausible that they could have some form of autism. I know this because many of the posts include the phrase, "I know no one here can officially diagnose me." This is clearly an attempt to ward off the kinds of posts that Fnord provides, and yet people ignore the fact that the OPs know they can't get a diagnosis via internet, and re-inform them of this fact anyway.

I just want somewhere I can talk (or write) and not be isolated for being different. As a result I hope we can make newcomers welcome, because the world can be pretty confusing and difficult.

Some who come and are not diagnosed will be, some won't. And even if everyone who wanted could afford and find an assessment, even if the diagnosis were black and white easy for professionals, they aren't all competent at seeing ASD, so I'm always aware that labels change, at least they can.

The process of self-discovery opened up a lot of old wounds (from my childhood through young adulthood), that I had long suppressed (repressed?, simply forgotten about?, ...).

It also opened me up to an entire world of things that I had previously not been paid attention to (including personality disorders, anxiety disorders, etc.). As my “prep work” included not only reading about Asperger’s but also about a bunch of different psychological disorders. Not surprisingly, with all the similarities in behavioral patterns, it was a bit confusing.

If I had not been diagnosed, I probably would have remained in this “limbo world” of uncertainty. As it seemed like many “things” applied. Going in to the diagnosis, I wanted someone familiar with Asperger’s to assess me. Yet, at the time, I had no idea what I would be diagnosed with (Asperger's or some combination of Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, Schizoid, General Anxiety Disorder, etc.).

I remember my brother asking me, “Why do you need a diagnosis? What will a label provide you?”. After 4 months of near-constant research (I was not employed at the time and easily spent 40-50 hours/week learning), my only thought was “closure”.

Interestingly, immediately after diagnosis, my initial thought was skepticism. And, that was the theme of my first WP post after being diagnosed. LOL.

Honestly, I am very glad I went through the entire process. It has fundamentally changed many things about how I perceive the world around me. It has also led me to accept who I am for what I am.

I also enjoy the discourse on WP. Even though we always don’t agree on things, the discussions are interesting and thought provoking.

This is exactly what I would have written. Regarding the OP topic title, there is so much that can be advised, recommended and explored by others as they go through the process. WrongPlanet.net should be the kind of place where those who are hurdling toward a diagnosis can feel welcome, and trust what those who have already gone through the experience can suggest.