Observer of life rather than a participant

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My counselor said it's really pretty much automatic for an NT. That is, they don't have to make a lot of conscious effort to interpret a social situation and then react in a way they feel is most appropriate. I believe her, but it's still so frustrating for me when I can tell that someone's switching gears on me. Even though I can accept the fact that there's probably not as much conscious manipulation going on in their heads as I'd previously thought, it still annoys me when I see it going on! I guess it's jealousy on my part, because I can't do that myself and I know my life would be much easier if I could!

I'm glad you reminded me. Another thing to add to my checklist of things I now refuse to work hard to fake interest in: "Having a conversation about the weather".
That goes in along with conversations about: "Politics", "Religion", "Fashion", "Cars", "Houses", "Insurance", "Celebrities", "Politicians", "Soaps",...

It would be my pleasure if you could group me in with those who are also an Observer of Life.

That would definitely describe me quite well.

like a fly on the wall, just looking on. a 'wrong' sense of being invisible, in some way or other.

I remember when I was on high school, I was always quiet, watching things my classmates did it. A girl noticed I was always alone, watching others and silently smiling when they made something funny, and she thought I wanted to join the group but I didn't know how.

I prefered being alone. She really tried talking to me, but I was untalkative. She wanted I joined to the group, it was hard, but I learnt to be less untalkative. Then, talking to her, I discover we have a lot in common. That girl is now my only friend (on the "real world").

That's me alright.

Wouldn't it be fantastic to be paid to go live on some alien world and observe them. I feel more comfortable in situations where I am seen as an obvious outsider, like being in a different country for example with language barriers, etc. Then there are no expectations that I should just "fit right in" with others and people are more accepting of social differences. It kind of gives me an excuse to be on my own.

Maybe it's because we tend to be more interested in analyzing and solving problems than just bs'ing or griping about nothing. I can't listen to gossipers or complainers. Remember the saying "everyone complains about the weather, but no one does anything about it?" The same is true for dishonest politicians, religious differences, untalented celebrities, etc. Yuk. I've found that the only things I enjoy discussing with most people are food and alcohol!! But then again, I usually end up hearing about their weight problems, alcoholism, food allergies, type 2 diabetes, etc.

Deep sigh. Yes I count myself among you as an eternal observer. The only time I'm not self-consciously sitting on the sidelines observing, is when I've got some alcohol on board. Then I can mingle somewhat.

Gosh. This makes the third successive post to mention alcohol. I can certainly talk about that. Nothing to say against it. I like my real ale. As it happens, I'm not being a drinker at present. I will be having a couple of pints on Wednesday, which will be th first for a month.

Also food. Food's good. I especially like whole milk, Greek yoghurt, any cheese. None of this skimmed, low fat, processed stuff for me. "Oh! I can't eat that because...", you'll not catch me saying that. Eat and enjoy. Must stop.... or I'll be forced to snack.

(Maybe I will anyway.)

Very well put, it certainly is my case.
I no longer even try to mingle, it just goes nowhere.
Funny, alcohol actually makes me more withdrawn rather than more sociable - it disinhibits my lack of interest in the usual topics of conversation. Do other aspies have the same experience?

Alcohol doesn't make me more interested in the conversations, it just makes me less irritated by them!

That's exactly how I've felt my entire life; I remember feeling the disconnect from 4-ish on (I'm 34 now). I only learned about Asperger's a few months ago, which finally helped to explain why.

It's like being stuck watching a lifelong movie or something...