ProfessorJohn wrote:
Here is a question for the Aspie men, but Aspie females can provide some great insight as well. In general, what do you think occurs more often: women are interested in us or find us attractive, and we just miss or can't read the non-verbal cues for this; or women just aren't interested in us so there are no cues to read?
Well, whether you're NT or AS, unless you're in the top 10% of attractiveness, most of the women you meet will not be interested in you. Unless they're actively looking for a partner, most people only notice the top 10% (and their own partner, if they have one).
However, if you phrase it as the proportion of women who would've been interested if you were NT but not when you're AS vs the number of women who are interested and you miss it, that's a tougher question. From my Dad's account, the latter was higher for him. But he could only tell because he's gotten a lot more socially astute since his youth, and he's got a very good memory so he remembers all those missed opportunities. (Not that he regrets them - he's happily married to my Mom.) Plus, his AS isn't that obvious until you get to know him. I've met some AS people who, even if I don't know them well at all, I can immediately peg them as developmentally disabled from their mannerisms and the sound of their voice. I could see people being turned off of being attracted to someone if they're obviously disabled like that.