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Aspie Men are Jerks

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richardbenson
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31 Mar 2007, 10:40 pm

who ever thought came up with the idea of marriage is an idiot


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Litguy
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31 Mar 2007, 10:40 pm

As a parent of two autistic kids, and, clearly enough, an undiagnosed aspie, I really resent what she says about parenting. Children would be hard pressed to be better loved and better enabled than ours, by both of us.

She is an idiot in every respect, and should find some way of making a living that she might be good at. I'm not sure what it would be.LOL.



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31 Mar 2007, 10:44 pm

SeriousGirl wrote:
Have you guys read some of the other websites where women talk about aspie men like they are brain damaged and treat them like children? No relationship is cut and dried where everything is the fault of the aspie's lack of empathy. I just don't believe it. There is a lynch mob mentality with some of the NT women that is being fueled by their marriage counselors.

Even in the book "An Asperger Marriage," by Gisela and Christopher Salter-Walker, the tone is condescending to the aspie.

It's depressing and shows how little is known about what we're really like. And you can't hide it from your spouse. You have to suffer patronizing comments, I suppose.


I guess they are tired of balming MEN for everything. That has been the HISTORIC scapegoat! NOW, they target AS!! HEY, sometimes men ARE to blame. Sometimes it IS the women, and sometimes, as with my parents, it is BOTH! I doubt AS is EVER really to blame! HECK, AS probably means men are less likely to cheat or watch sports. They'll PROBABLY be less aggressive also. That should make women HAPPY! The kind of telepathy NT women(I doubt AS women do!) expect men to have is something NO man really has! There are TONS of books written by, reviewed/read by, men to support that assertion! So how can they blame AS? As for the apparant arrogance, certain lack of concern, problem reading faces, that CAN be a problem, but it is to be EXPECTED!

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31 Mar 2007, 10:46 pm

Actually, I have fallen hard for an aspie male. A gorgeous fire engine red head! He has made me his obsession at his work when I show up (it's gang way) so he can take care of me personally and when we pass each other in our vehicles he drives circles around me (recently for a 2 hr stint) & just locks in a stare while passing me at near zero mph (otherwise at his work he can neither hardly look at me nor speak). But, our brief unspoken glances say it all....or so I thought. Thus, I made the fatal error of approaching him to hook up and he said he had a family (he did not state specifically he was married). The last time I tried to hook up with him was July 2006 and I asked him to lunch which he said, maybe sometime. Basically, we've never spoken more than a few pleasantries because our time is sooo short as he's at work. This charade has been what I've lived for and what has kept me alive from March 06-March 07. However, now he runs far fast from me or he'll pass me in multiple different vehicles I've never seen before. Any helpful hints from accomodating aspies out there. I'm crushed as I sure meant to cause this beautiful man absolutely no pain or sensory overload.
HELP.
(oh, from what I've read that woman who wrote that is quite stupid!)



richardbenson
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31 Mar 2007, 10:48 pm

people with red hair rule


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poopylungstuffing
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31 Mar 2007, 10:52 pm

oh..I have seen so many disasters between NT women and non NT men..just among my friends and within all the forums i have been involved in for years.....(i concider ADDers to be non-NT) and I concider my boyfriend to be an ADDer (even though he doesn;t believe in it)..We are both people who kinda skirt the line between AS and ADD....He is more "functional" than I am...but I got his back in many regards...
And...goodness....I have not even bothered to read the whole thread...but I sometimes think NT/non-NT relationships are a recipe for disaster unless the NT in the relationship really really understands and accepts their non-NT partner...and vice versa..
Then again...a recipe where both people are non-NT can be pretty nerve wracking too....but I would rather be with someone who understands me. I have been on the other side of the fence a couple times and it isn;t pretty.



Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 31 Mar 2007, 10:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.

lowfreq50
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31 Mar 2007, 10:57 pm

I have a great idea!

Make sure you don't marry someone rashly. Be sure you truly want to be married.

Don't marry a man who is like torture to be with. Grow up and learn to shoulder YOUR FAIR SHARE of the blame. This woman should admit that she had a choice in the matter of who she married.



poopylungstuffing
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31 Mar 2007, 10:59 pm

Better yet, don't get married.



calandale
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31 Mar 2007, 11:00 pm

NOTAFARMGAL wrote:
Actually, I have fallen hard for an aspie male. A gorgeous fire engine red head! He has made me his obsession at his work when I show up (it's gang way) so he can take care of me personally and when we pass each other in our vehicles he drives circles around me (recently for a 2 hr stint) & just locks in a stare while passing me at near zero mph (otherwise at his work he can neither hardly look at me nor speak). But, our brief unspoken glances say it all....or so I thought. Thus, I made the fatal error of approaching him to hook up and he said he had a family (he did not state specifically he was married). The last time I tried to hook up with him was July 2006 and I asked him to lunch which he said, maybe sometime. Basically, we've never spoken more than a few pleasantries because our time is sooo short as he's at work. This charade has been what I've lived for and what has kept me alive from March 06-March 07. However, now he runs far fast from me or he'll pass me in multiple different vehicles I've never seen before. Any helpful hints from accomodating aspies out there. I'm crushed as I sure meant to cause this beautiful man absolutely no pain or sensory overload.
HELP.
(oh, from what I've read that woman who wrote that is quite stupid!)


Uhm...doesn't sound like he's interested. WE do like to play sometimes, you know.



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31 Mar 2007, 11:06 pm

Yeah, it is truly a shame people can't "live in anothers skin" for a while. Men rarely claim to know much about women, and most women don't really know men. Those that claim to know most often know the least. And, OBVIOUSLY, NT people don't understand AS. Based on books, etc... I doubt NT people know NTs!

I imagine that if you had 2 AS people with complementary interests, similar sensory issues, and similar or no stims, marry, that it would be FANTASTIC! That would be my dream! One could learn from the other, give support, and not be bored. They would have the same things to watch out for, wouldn't be annoyed, etc... AND, since they would both try to be direct, they would AVOID problems many NT couples have! And HEY, any decent husband would have his wifes comfort as one of his interests. Hopefully, she would consider his.

Steve



NOTAFARMGAL
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31 Mar 2007, 11:14 pm

TO CALANDALE:

NOT INTERESTED?
LIKE TO PLAY?
FOR 1 FULL YEAR AT 1-2 HOURS PER DAY?
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH TIME, ENERGY AND GAS MONEY THAT IS OR WAS?
I'VE KEPT AN ON LINE NOVEL OF OUR ENCOUNTERS...20 CHAPTERS TO DATE...PAGES LONG!
OMG
I GUESS I HAD TO ACTUALLY SEE IT IN WRITING FROM ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE A I'VE BEEN IN DENIAL (GOSH IT KILLS ME TO SAY THAT AND THINK IT CAN OR WILL NEVER BE)
I NOW FIND MYSELF DRIVING PAST HIS WORK AND NEARLY WANT TO VOMIT - IT SO UPSETTING
NOW I REALLY AM DEVASTED
ANY OTHER OPINIONS ON THIS SUBJECT



NoCriminalIntent
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31 Mar 2007, 11:14 pm

SeriousGirl wrote:
the tone is condescending to the aspie.


And thats what bothers me to no end about most professionals, and many Typicals. That f*****g condescending, 'oh how am I, as a normal person, going to deal with this poor f****d up soul'.

It reminds me a bit of how Europeans looked at Indians upon arrival in this country. There was nothing wrong with how the Indians did things, in fact, they did things right. Then these dumb f*****g Europeans show up with their superior attitude and wow didnt that turn out good. Always trying to figure out where to stick those poor 'not quite here' Indians.


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sinsboldly
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31 Mar 2007, 11:19 pm

TheMachine1 wrote:
Hate to break it to the ladies all men are Jerks :)



DAMN! you beat me to it!


Merle



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31 Mar 2007, 11:19 pm

Gosh no wonder why some aspie men say they can't have a relationship and are unable to. Because that's how they appear to women. I wonder if AS women appear like that too? I wonder if that's how I appeared when I was with my boyfriend. He did tell me I am like those aspies on AS Partners site because I said the site scares me and it makes me wonder if I appear like that too and that's when he told me. I am also like a robot. When he hugs me, it feels like he is hugging a robot. My ex said the same to him about me on myspace. He couldn't get anything out of me, he said.



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31 Mar 2007, 11:23 pm

NOTAFARMGAL wrote:
ANY OTHER OPINIONS ON THIS SUBJECT


Please dont shout. Ive got very sensitive ears.

You need to get a grip. Then some counseling. Are you sure you're NT, cause you're obsessing like crazy.


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poopylungstuffing
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31 Mar 2007, 11:23 pm

Gad! The number of posts I have seen (on other sites)...what I am i to do about my poor messed up so and so? Blah blah blah blah ....makes my head hurt it does.