How do you react to being punished/were punished?

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It's molded me into a cold and bitter person, that's for damn sure.

I swear, you're like my alternative dimension self, so much of what you say I've been saying for years to no avail. I too don't get an endorphin rush or depletion after social interaction. People "in the know" about such matters swear I'm just "repressing" the feeling, but no, I'd have to feel something to repress it. Then the conclusion is that I just don't produce endorphins, but I do-- just usually from problem solving.

edit: condensing

Yes, repression, thought technically that may not be the correct word to use.
I call it "dissociation" which to me basically describes a mechanism the brain develops in order to filter out things before they enter into conscious thought.

Besides that, I think some of it is chemically based. That is the chemical reward mechanism either isn't there, or isn't functioning correctly.

I also get the endorphins for problem solving and various other things like intense exercise, but I don't get them for the vast majority of things that normal people seem to get them from, which I describe as anhedonia.

It taught me to listen and follow rules and that if you didn't follow them, you got in trouble and something bad would happen if you didn't listen. I always had to regret what I did that got me into trouble. But I also thought adults made rules to control everyone and to punish us just for fun to watch us suffer and that was why people made rules who were in authority. Certain punishments quit working on me of course as I got older because I got used to them. "Oh my Barbies were taken away again, doh, oh well it's only for a few days and I will just do these other things I have." I go to time out, "oh I will just think and day dream and it will be all over." I am in my room, "oh I will just read books or play with my Barbies or play a board game or do a puzzle until my mom says I can come out." I was like a typical child.

I also remember whenever I would be told to not do something, I would ask why and they wouldn't tell me why so I would do it anyway to see what would happen and I would get in trouble. I always thought why couldn't they just tell me. I didn't realize every time that there would be a consequence if I did it. But I eventually learned in my teens because I got tired of getting into trouble so I thought "I might get in trouble if I do this because they did tell me not to."

And I also thought other kids were stupid for breaking rules and complaining about a consequence. They knew the rules and broke them anyway and now they are upset and saying the teacher is mean? Just follow the fricken rules jeez, how hard is that. I was actually broken to follow the rules. My mom had trained me because of her being consistent with her rules at home and those other kids were probably never taught due to inconsistencies and their parents not following through. Then they all of a sudden had a teacher who was consistent and followed through and actually made them *gasp* follow the rules. So they were not used to that so they thought the adult was mean. I couldn't see any meanness at all and wondered how was my teacher mean, he isn't mean. That was because I was taught at home to follow them so this was no different to me at school so it was normal. I don't ever recall complaining about being in trouble unless I felt it was unfair and there was injustice. For example a kid picking on me so I break a rule and shove the kid after telling him over and over to leave me alone. I felt that was unfair or other kids being allowed to do something and nothing happens so I do it too and I get in trouble. I fought it and argued and still did what other kids did continuing trying to be normal and be treated like everyone else so punishing me didn't work and my school thought I had behavior issues. The simple solution was make everyone follow the rules jeez and punish them too whenever they break them instead of me only. That was my issue right there, the injustice. At home I was treated equal and the rules applied to all of us so my parents didn't have any problems with me and no behavior issues at home.

But I hated being punished as a child and being in trouble and having anything taken from me which is why I responded well to punishments. I also didn't like being yelled at either which is what also made me listen because I didn't want the yelling.

I had LOTS of Aspie meltdowns with my parents when I was punished cuz I usually never understood why I was being punished or thought that they didn't understand me or the situation. I don't really get punished nowadays but when I got in trouble at work I kind of just listened & was polite.

dear sweeToxic, I realise you posted this ages ago, but wht not put in my oar ..
I'm a mum, I don't do punishment at all, in any shape or form ..my more conventional friends have been known to respond to this revelation with an amazed silence and then '... what, not even time out?'. The fact is, I don't even know what time out is

My older son is autistic. I think I realised very early on that locking into any kind of conflict with him, was not the way to go. Control, isn't the way to go.

I have found I can totally rely on his own feeling of what is right, and his kindness for others, to help take him in a good direction .. but only when he is given the trust and freedom to do so. Just that it takes a great leap of faith on the part of the parents

I think this is true with any kids, but with autistic ones even more so, since other approaches seem to be so very damaging. So I think your gut feeling is right on this.

I have real problem with conflict so I'd usualy just shutdown. I do remember on several occasions my mum telling me off and being able to make her laugh to diffuse the situation. I don't get punished nowadays but if my GF is angry with me it goes 1 of 2 ways. 1. Shutdown 2. Lose the plot and drown out my GF coz I can shout louder ( don't shout anything constructive though - "Shut Up" , "Your doing my head in")

I've never responded to punishment very well. I'd always get yelled at for some of my autistic traits and behaviours. Sometimes, I got a spanking. The spankings only taught me that if someone was making me angry that it was okay to inflict pain on them. I got rid of that mindset when I was in my teens. I still don't respond to yelling because it brings back flashbacks of my upbringing. I can be very hard to deal with when I get stuff that has to do with my special interests taken away from me as my job coach and my mum found out the hard way, this year. Don't you dare take away my Schultz helmets. I got the helmet back right away.

I'm more stubborn. I don't really care if they punish me, I'll still do it.

I hardly ever got punished. But I remember one time when me and a classmate were talking in the hall, and were sent back to where we started. I actually loved that because it made me feel like a normal kid. Otherwise, most of the time I hated getting scolded and would protest vehemently.

It very much depends on my evaluation of the fairness and intent of the punishment.

Punishment that is disproportionate or arbitrary inspires unyielding rebellion and a desire for revenge. My rage in such situations can be scary.
Punishment that is proportionate and evenhanded is OK.

I can endure a lot by withdrawing into my mind.
I tend neither to forgive, nor to forget injustice and I see abuse of power as worse than ordinary misbehavior.

DinoMongoosePenguin, a Brief summary would be helpful, we really don't need the whole life story. God damn, what am I doing with my life, I just read that entire thing.

I would have meltdowns too, and then my parents would punish me more for having the meltdown - usually a spanking. My mom thinks I should spank my son when he has a meltdown from a sensory overload!

Me too what an epic post.