Why are kids with autism easy targets for bullies?

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,258
Location: Pacific Northwest

08 Sep 2015, 3:32 pm

Sweetleaf wrote:
pete106 wrote:
When someone is bullied, they sometimes become one in some way, maybe not physically, but sometimes a hurt person will seek ignorant revenge.


And sometimes they decide they don't want to treat others that way because they know how much it hurt them.


And some don't realize how much effect it does to their victims until they see them crying and then they feel bad and never do it again.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


Sweetleaf
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,907
Location: Somewhere in Colorado

08 Sep 2015, 3:46 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Sweetleaf wrote:
pete106 wrote:
When someone is bullied, they sometimes become one in some way, maybe not physically, but sometimes a hurt person will seek ignorant revenge.


And sometimes they decide they don't want to treat others that way because they know how much it hurt them.


And some don't realize how much effect it does to their victims until they see them crying and then they feel bad and never do it again.


Yes however my point was more, the bullied typically become the bullies is a flawed premise..even though sometimes people who bully might have suffered it in their past as well. Seemed what I responded to was sort of perpetuating that myth. But yes its certainly possible to do something mean/nasty feel terrible about it and never do it again to.


_________________
We won't go back.


Waterfalls
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,075

08 Sep 2015, 4:11 pm

Also, I think children, like adults on the spectrum, are sometimes misperceived as bullying others for speaking the truth and that gets very ugly, quickly, unless adults intervene.



League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,258
Location: Pacific Northwest

08 Sep 2015, 5:16 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
Also, I think children, like adults on the spectrum, are sometimes misperceived as bullying others for speaking the truth and that gets very ugly, quickly, unless adults intervene.


Yes, that is what I said before in my first post here.

When I was a kid, I bullied others to be normal and to fit in because I figured if other kids saw me do it, they would think I was good as them and cool and I also thought it was something I was supposed to do. I also suspect this would be another reason why some autistic kids would bully and then other kids see them being a bully so it makes them even more of a target because they stand out more than other kids do who bully. So therefore teachers and the principal might look at it and think the kid had it coming, if only they will treat others the way they like to be treated, they will have respect. They wouldn't look at what caused it and why they are doing it. No one looks at what causes someone to bully and why they are doing it. Instead people are trying to stop the bullying than looking at what is causing it.

One of my online friends who also has AS told me he was bullied and then the bullying stopped when he turned into a bully himself so there are some bullies out there who are also bullied victims so it's like a cycle. But he didn't make himself more of a target because he knew the social cues for it and the only reason why it didn't work with me was because I did it wrong.

Apparently there are unwritten rules about bullying, you have to do it right to be accepted still and to get the bullying to stop when you become a bully. He told me this is also why normal kids bully, peer pressure so they won't become bullied victims. That tells me something must be done then about this so kids won't be pressured to bully to avoid being a victim. This tells me not all bullies are bad people.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.


RainMom2015
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 26 Aug 2015
Posts: 31
Location: Florida

08 Sep 2015, 5:28 pm

Everyone is so on point here ! ! I also think that some kids are not raised in a loving family and they tend to take out there anger on others.. You have to teach children to be respectful, to share with others and to be kind. Sad to say but sometimes it's not even the kids fault for not knowing any better, not all Adults are cut out to be parents. The world is so cruel nowadays... :(



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,810
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

09 Sep 2015, 12:24 am

Kids are afraid of people and things that are different. Many kids are not taught respect at home. Typical kids see how vulnerable autistic kids are, so they bully them. The most vile bully in the class bullies the autistic child the most often. What sucks is if that vile bully happens to be in the regular class of victim, year after year and it never ends. That was my experience in elementary school. I was glad to get out of there and I was also secretly glad that my most vile bully got himself suspended early in the year when the two of us were in Grade 7.


_________________
The Family Enigma


Aspie202
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 18 Aug 2015
Age: 23
Posts: 390
Location: Out of my mind

09 Sep 2015, 6:56 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
Kids are afraid of people and things that are different. Many kids are not taught respect at home. Typical kids see how vulnerable autistic kids are, so they bully them. The most vile bully in the class bullies the autistic child the most often. What sucks is if that vile bully happens to be in the regular class of victim, year after year and it never ends. That was my experience in elementary school. I was glad to get out of there and I was also secretly glad that my most vile bully got himself suspended early in the year when the two of us were in Grade 7.


True, I think that some kids are afraid that aspies are raised as crazy sociopaths.


_________________
Those who try to divide others will only succeed in bringing them closer together -me


takudzwaaywok198
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 9 Sep 2015
Posts: 7

09 Sep 2015, 10:34 am

I guess it may be because bullies will most often tend to dislike "intellectual" types or whoever they think is a "beta".
I guess it is simply that, the way they function makes so that they will simply tend to want to bully the most people with aspie-ish traits.
I don't know. Some monkey stuff. It has been shown that kids choose who they bully by the smell, which they process subconsciously. Perhaps because they perceive some aspies as an "anomaly".
Must be some weird instinctual chimp thing.
What's sure is that they don't act that way out of rational tought.



iliketrees
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Mar 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,155
Location: Earth

09 Sep 2015, 10:39 am

takudzwaaywok198 wrote:
It has been shown that kids choose who they bully by the smell, which they process subconsciously.

Is this a joke? If not I want to see the source on that.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

09 Sep 2015, 10:43 am

I don't think kids pick victims based on "smell."

But, frequently, kids who "smell" happen to be the target of bullies.



Hyperborean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Jan 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 956
Location: Europe

09 Sep 2015, 2:57 pm

iliketrees wrote:
takudzwaaywok198 wrote:
It has been shown that kids choose who they bully by the smell, which they process subconsciously.

Is this a joke? If not I want to see the source on that.


Actually I don't think this is an odd theory. Animals such as dogs, horses (as well as beasts of prey) can scent when another animal or a human is afraid of them. When they smell fear, they attack. What is a bully except a form of beast of prey (of the most inferior kind)?



GiantHockeyFan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jun 2012
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,293

11 Sep 2015, 7:00 am

Hyperborean wrote:
Actually I don't think this is an odd theory. Animals such as dogs, horses (as well as beasts of prey) can scent when another animal or a human is afraid of them. When they smell fear, they attack. What is a bully except a form of beast of prey (of the most inferior kind)?

Except I was very happy and carefree BEFORE I got bullied. Sure I become a fearful wreck but who wouldn't when getting attacked by 3-8 bullies regularly.



michael517
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2013
Age: 61
Gender: Female
Posts: 535
Location: Illinois

11 Sep 2015, 8:30 am

What Ben said.

Keep in mind that if you are on the spectrum, you might not be able to "see it". I like to think of it as being in Harry Potter world, only we are the muggles and everybody else are the (social) wizards.



underwater
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 10 Sep 2015
Age: 47
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,904
Location: Hibernating

11 Sep 2015, 8:42 am

I wonder if there is a certain type of bully that has a stronger need than usual for attention from others. Some of the ones I've run into, of the more intelligent, resourceful type, seem to expect a certain amount of attention and kowtowing from others. I speculate that a lot of people pick up on this need, and supply a sufficient amount of attention, whereas your average aspie will just slide away and try to avoid eye contact, and that this is what triggers a feeling of being ignored, which these people are not able to handle.

Does anyone else have similar experiences? I may be completely wrong about this.



GodzillaWoman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2014
Age: 58
Gender: Female
Posts: 742
Location: MD, USA

11 Sep 2015, 7:41 pm

It's strange that bullying was seen as a behavior or isolated action rather than the product of some sort of psychological disorder or mental disturbance. Or at least that was the case when I was a child (in the 70s, so it's been a while). People on the spectrum have been the ones who are pathologized, when we are mostly just sitting in the corner sorting our toys or lecturing somebody on dinosaurs, not bothering anybody (unless one can't stand dinosaurs, and who hates that??).

I think educators and psychologists are finally starting to see bullying as being pathological or at least really unhealthy, rather than just a phase kids go through, especially since the Columbine massacre. They've done studies showing bullying kids to come from abusive homes (i'll look for a reference if you want). The parents bully their kids, who bully other kids who are vulnerable.


_________________
Diagnosed Bipolar II in 2012, Autism spectrum disorder (moderate) & ADHD in 2015.


League_Girl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 27,258
Location: Pacific Northwest

12 Sep 2015, 12:52 am

GodzillaWoman wrote:
It's strange that bullying was seen as a behavior or isolated action rather than the product of some sort of psychological disorder or mental disturbance. Or at least that was the case when I was a child (in the 70s, so it's been a while). People on the spectrum have been the ones who are pathologized, when we are mostly just sitting in the corner sorting our toys or lecturing somebody on dinosaurs, not bothering anybody (unless one can't stand dinosaurs, and who hates that??).

I think educators and psychologists are finally starting to see bullying as being pathological or at least really unhealthy, rather than just a phase kids go through, especially since the Columbine massacre. They've done studies showing bullying kids to come from abusive homes (i'll look for a reference if you want). The parents bully their kids, who bully other kids who are vulnerable.




I sometimes wonder if one of my best friends was abused because her mom always screamed at her and would lock her out of the house and would always leave her wandering on the block by herself when she was a toddler while her older brother would just go to a friend's house while their mom went to work. According to my mother she would be looking for love and when she got older, she turned into a bully and was no longer a sweet girl. I'd say around kindergarten she changed and became a snot because I can remember when she started to yell at me and be mean and said she didn't like me but she still came over to play.


_________________
Son: Diagnosed w/anxiety and ADHD. Also academic delayed and ASD lv 1.

Daughter: NT, no diagnoses. Possibly OCD. Is very private about herself.