Opinions on article about raising AS kids, please?

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No it doesn't, not sure where you're getting that? In fact, the poster was careful to follow up her assertions by basically saying Grandin tends to think what applied to her will apply to everyone (paraphrasing, I can't remember exactly how it was stated, but you can go back and re-read).

I have to be honest. I find your method of parsing what people said to sound different from what their overall meaning was, specifically by eliminating commentary that supports their entire meaning, to be disingenuous. So too do I feel your interjecting meaning that very obviously isn't there (as in the example above) makes little sense, at least if one is trying to be honest. I am just wondering what your motivation is that would make you attempt to misrepresent people in order to win an argument. I though all this was about understanding and improving, not winning or losing.

I just have to be honest. I am not a fan of your methods, they're designed to re-word things and then you argue against the re-wording...that's a strawman methodology. And where does that get any of us?

It's not that I don't notice them. It's that to me, they don't say what you apparently meant them to mean. Here are the parts I cut off where you say those things:



Doesn't this still say that pushing shouldn't be tried in general?



If I understand well, you mean to say that Grandin's statements shouldn't be so sweeping, right? But the fact remains that what she suggests does work for some autistic kids, so why not let the parents at least try for themselves, and see if her methods work on their own kid?



No, it's not at all similar, because then I would be making you say the exact opposite of what you actually said. This is not the case here. Here, you wrote at length about how your parents pushing you too hard badly hurt you (something I am sorry you had to endure, by the way ) as if it were related to what Grandin is saying, when it is not. Grandin, as far as she's quoted in the article, does not encourage the kind of child abuse you went through. What she calls "pushing" is not the type of extreme, abusive "crushing" you endured. But instead of recognising that, you only say that *maybe* what Grandin suggests might work for other people. But the thing is: it's not a "maybe". Reasonable, sensitive pushing DOES work for some autistic people.



Yes. My purpose is to make you and others realise that pushing doesn't mean the extreme, abusive crushing you and others endured, and that as such the merits of pushing shouldn't be judged on the results of crushing.

Here's the entire post:



"I am so sick of what X does" is generally meant to convey a strong disagreement with what X does. In this case, Grandin is giving advice to parents of autistic kids, sharing with them what worked for her, and Ettina is saying she's sick of Grandin doing that. And since at no point does Ettina mention that pushing can be a good thing for some kids, the logical conclusion in my eyes is that Ettina thinks Grandin should stop talking about it altogether.



I do not do that. This is even the very reason why I often quote the parts I answer to: so that it is clear I am actually addressing what was said, and not what I think was said.



Well, to me, it is very obvious that the post I quoted above says, "I wish Temple Grandin would shut up." Maybe it is not what the author meant, and obviously it's not how you understand it, but it is how it reads to me.



I do not do that. And I don't appreciate being accused of doing that.



Precisely! So why do you take an example of your parents crushing you, and apply it to Temple Grandin's advice of pushing autistic children, when it's a completely different thing? How does that promote understanding and improving?



If anyone is using a strawman here, it's you, not me.

hmm
i'm not a parent of an AS kid or a parent at all
but this article presents some questionable mantras, because at least to me it seemed like this this temple lady wants to push AS kids into little acceptable-AS boxes.

i think the role of parents in general is to guide but not to control, and positive guidance for kids on the spectrum is so important. but i question the importance of forcefully pushing or pulling them in a direction they didn't choose for themselves, because that can lead to feelings of emptiness/disengaged attitude/worthlessness/isolation/etc. it can also thwart their originality if they are conditioned to beat themselves into fake identities.

i also think the videogames thing is stupid. i'm not interested in videogames personally but my partner is very into that sort of thing and a lot of his social circle is built upon that, so by limiting videogames i think lots of kids' social potentials could also be limited. i think she presents some valuable questions to consider, but she portrays herself like an omniscient guide to the collective autistic mind, which just doesn't exist. i don't know anything about this woman besides what i just read in this article so my opinion may be crude, those are just my initial thoughts

I think Temple is just saying that parents should think of their autistic children as capable and push them gently in certain areas. Like getting a job as a teenager. Sometimes, parents fall into a trap of thinking their autistic children aren't capable or can't do x, y, z, based on what they have read or been told. But ackshuly their children may be able to do x, y, z if given the chance and a little push, like promoting a job or making spending money as a good thing. Sometimes, there is tendency for a kid not to know what they want or not be able to communicate what they want clearly, so if parents bring up something like getting a job or even help them get one, that could open up a really good eggsperience. I didn't know that I wanted a job when I was a teenager, but a chance came up one day, and I took it, and got good eggsperience at a young age. If my parents hadn't pushed me more to be proactive and do things when I was younger than that, maybe I would have passed up the job and not had that eggsperience.

Temple’s advice (about being pushed) apparently worked for me. My Dad pushed me quite hard. But, not in a loving way.