Treatment for Asperger's?

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Actually, about the only friends I tend to make would be coworkers. 8-( I've pretty much given up with parties. 8-( But HEY, I DO leave my home 2-5 times a day, and the hotel 1-3 times a day!

Steve

I have been working at home exclusively for years now.
My life is highly specialized, I do have a Wife who is not satisfied and wishes we could go out and do things.
However this is old news. I cannot go to a restaurant to eat dinner. It is a trauma to go and do that.
Once I am there, it can be okay if it is not too crowded, we have sufficient privacy, but I am not REALLY comfortable ever when we are out.
It is always stressfull on some level.
I managed (for my Wife) to goto Disneyland on a few occasions.
All of which were super-stressfull, I have to be zoned out the whole time, wearing sunglasses.
It's honestly an awful existence as I would love to go to new places and travel, and if the world had no people in it all would be well.
So I sit at home 24/7 x 365 with my Wife and 2 dogs as I work on the computer.
That is my life.
Am I content?
No.
But yes in a way I am.
It is a complicated issue.
I wish I could go out and do things readily.
I wish I could socialize.
But I cannot.
So how can I be content?
I suppose I am content only in that I have done this for so long, it is less painful generally than the alternative.
I still wish I could be different.
So far the benefits of being an Aspie do not outweigh the negatives over the course of my whole life.

How do I make friends? I don't really. I'm lucky I get on with most of my co-workers coz we all have something in common - a twerp for a boss! My tendency for blunt comments like "What do you mean there's a budget for new blinds but not to replace the broken server?" has earned me a strange respect. (AND a reputation as a trouble maker.)

I often wished I had people to 'hang out' with, but while it would be nice to go birdwatching with someone else, trying to 'make conversation' and be sociable would probably be a greater hassle than the pleasure of their company would be worth.

I'm in a small town, so the odds of meeting up with a similarly-minded Apsergers person is fairly slim.

I'm like that in restaurants. I think most of us are. My husband socializes quite a bit without me. He organizes things for work and plays on some sports teams. We share a lot of intersts though, so it hasn't been a real problem for us. He likes quiet and structure himself.

You sound more extroverted than I am by far. I think when I hit 11 months and two weeks, I decided I had to go back to work in an office or I would just retreat into my own world and never come back. I didn't want to do that to my husband who had his own issues at the time. So I told my boss I had to come back in.

I do like my friends when I like them around, but I have limited time with them. They know it's going to be that way. Are there groups that share your interests? Maybe if you just went long enough to meet people who share your interest, then you could just meet with those people and not go back to the group.

One big difference I've noticed between my friends and most NTs is that we never talk small talk. Ever. We typically don't even ask how each other are, talk about families, work or the weather. We just talk about our interests. They don't think it's odd at all. I think you would like those kinds of friends.

I've known about ABA for at least 15 years. It used to be called "Lovaas" therapy. I knew a woman who abused her child with it, 8 hours a day, 6 days a week, a 4 year old who have to sit and perform to get his food. They used his food for his reinforcer. That's child abuse. She shipped him off to an institution after the expected results didn't materialize.

And it didn't do a damn bit of good as the child is now a low-functioning man who can speak about 10 words.

I have a deep and abiding loathing of it.

Well, I don't know about those things. I know about the hyperactive child who learned to control their hyperactivity by "making the train run." (Generating alpha waves.)

I got confused early on. I thought we were talking about wussupman's child.

wassupman, it sounds like you have severe issues, perhaps even a phobia. If you want to start somewhere, I would suggest (even though I don't generally like them) a psychiatrist.

It seems to me that at some point you did function better, right? You managed to get married. I think somewhere along the line, something happened to cause you to regress.

How did you find out about Aspergers?

I hem and haw over doing something social like going to a holiday at a family members house an hour away.
Which I am currently contemplating.
I know the answer is really no from the beginning, but I always hope I will be able to get up the gumption to go and do it.
So far no gumption yet and it's this Sunday.

I can't even walk my dog down the block however. So I am not sure I am more extroverted.
I don't go into an office to work and literally can't do it without severe trauma and sweat.
You can go into an office and do a commute.

And yes I was saying I was Agoraphobic prior to finding out about Asperger's, so I guess it's two things in one we are discussing.
As my going out issues are truely severe and detrimental.

I was actually like this long before my Wife finally married me.
Or should I say, I finally married my Wife.
Either way, she has been with me for years through all kinds of horrible stuff.
But I have had these going out issues the whole time.
I am lucky to have had her support, not sure if I regressed so much as changed my lifestyle. I used to stay up all night and sleep all day to avoid people. However I work with people (tele-commute) who are up during the day so I had to change that.

Sounds like you have developed social anxiety disorder. Some people suggest a combination of medications and Cognitive behavior therapy CBT to treat the social fear
then you can then work on dealing with the social communications problems your having
with alot less fear clouding your thoughts.

Wassupman,

If you want to be more social and you want to interact, that's more extroverted. It doesn't mean you are social, it means you desire to be around other people. I can actually go for years with no contact with people and be completely happy. I don't really have much desire to be around them and what little I have comes and goes. I don't ever miss the sensation of being with people in general although I can miss certain people I like. I'm actually happiest alone (although I don't mind my husband around but he's been an aberration for me).

Were you like this as a child? I was and I was very happy with it. That's another very introverted thing. Introverts get more energy from themselves and find others draining.

It sounds like Machine found some help for this. Maybe that could help you.

I'm glad to hear your wife has stuck it out with you.

I was like this as a child, I was an only child.
Played alone.
Always had 1 super close best friend at the most.
Pushed, by others, occasionally to be more social, but ultimately yes I do find people draining.
People have to be super-special for me to be able to deal with them for any length of time.
But even then I need to come home to recuperate.
And never able to talk about the weather or chit-chat.
That's for sure.

Well, agoraphobia and AS are TOTALLY different. Agoraphobia is simply a FEAR of going out. The only thing that comes close in AS is the part where you MIGHT hesitate because there is no point, and something bad might happen. I, for example, consider myself to have AS, but am NOT agoraphobic. Out of about 800 plane trips, I have only talked a LITTLE to perhaps 12 people.

Steve

That's a lot Steve. I travelled for 3 weeks of the month for 2 1/2 years. I talked to one person in all that time.

Well, it IS an estimate. On average, I fly 2 planes a week, and have done that for about 8 years. As for the 12 people, that might be an exageration also. I tried to force myself, and some were doing interesting things, etc... And like 3 were cute women. Still, even a lot of cute women were met with silence. And there was one guy delayed on his trip to frankfurt, and I never even spoke a word of german, and said little more than thanks for him plugging my laptop in. And I only tried to console a woman, and remark on her beautiful accent, when I could have tried some french, etc... BTW her beautiful accent dissappeared when she spoke to me. She spent the first 10 years of her life in britain, and speaks it ONLY when under stress because the school kids here made fun of it!! !! ! Story of MY life also!

As I said, I am not agoraphobic. I'm not even afraid of talking with people. I just DON'T. I HATE a lot of small talk, etc... I am shy and... Well, I guess a lot of people here know where I am coming from. It is CRAZY! I want to sit AWAY from people, but I have to sit on a cramped plane, etc... One bright side is I can usually fly first class on the bigger planes(due to frequent flyer status).

Steve

I used to have people try to talk to me on planes but I wouldn't speak to them. I want to use that time to relax and people do not relax me. Honestly, I feel like most of them are parasites sucking out my energy. I'm not afraid of them at all, but I don't want them taking the energy I need to do the things I like. I guess that's why I ration out my time with people I do like. I still get the sensation that they are taking energy from me and giving nothing back, but at least I like the topic. I know mine is an extreme introvert reaction because introverts don't get energy from other people. I'm just skewed, but I like what I do when I'm alone so I know I won't change it. I put up with work to get the money. I put up with the drain to spend time with interesting people occasionally. I actually like my husband and he's the aberration who doesn't drain me. It's just the way I found to be and enjoy myself. I've never had any sensation of I should socialize. I guess I think it's different not crazy. It's my choice.

As for first class, it kind of freaks me out. I liked feeling closed into a tight space, even if people were around. Those seats in first class are so huge that I feel like I'm Edith Ann and my feet don't even touch the floor. It makes me uncomfortable the whole time.