Why don't most Aspies want a cure?

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It is and it isn't. Every time I "fake it," I feel like I throw a little piece of my soul away.

I have worked continuously at not being myself for 40 years, initially so I would no longer be terrorized by my school and also my family, then later, to get a job...find someone to love me...make sense on the phone...etc. It's always ME ME ME reaching out and never the NT world reaching out to me. I can tell you that gets wearing.

I have said I would take a "cure" if there were one available, but obviously that's assuming my basic personality, likes and dislikes and so on wouldn't change, and although I don't know that's not possible, I also don't know that it is. It's hypothetical anyway as I don't think anyone can "cure" how they actually, basically are and the way their brains physically are. I can't "cure" my green eyes, either. And really, the reason I'd desire a "cure" (with qualifications as stated) would simply be so that I would no longer be embarrassed, hurt (emotionally), rejected, etc. by others - not because my ASD bothers ME. Sounds and so on do bother me, but I can manage them or as a last resort, leave the area. I don't find my sensitivities, strong as they sometimes are, or even my clumsiness (so far it hasn't landed me in the hospital or anything!) or my confusion in the face of many things to look at in one small area, to be my major motivations for sometimes wishing I had just been born "normal" (per societal standards). My major motivation is simply being tired of other people's issues with my ASD...not my own. When I realize that, THAT'S when I'm ashamed of myself, and I'll bet I'm not the only one...and yes, I do often react by being, dare I say it? A hair proud of...? - my ASD. Or some of what I believe is associated with it, such as primo concentration skills.

Another reason may be (it is for me, anyway) that some of us have to bolster ourselves every single day and on some days, hourly to remind ourselves, in the face of rejection and other difficulties of navigating an NT world, that ASD isn't something to be ashamed of. There's enormous pressure from all directions to conform to an NT world or at least not stand out due to behaviors, etc. and bother the more standard NT world. I think a little of the ASD fist-pumping may be a reaction to that.

I think sometimes when ASD people say they wouldn't find a cure, it could be for reasons similar to the ones I listed above. Aside from things like sensory issues (which in some individuals can be managed), we feel it's unfair that we're considered something TO be cured. It's kind of a cruel POV. I wouldn't think of curing my son's blonde hair or his love of music, for example.

Last edited by NowhereWoman on 29 Sep 2015, 7:14 pm, edited 5 times in total.

I would like an alleviation of negative symptoms, but not a "cure" per se.

Sometimes, it would be nice to be able to discuss the latest reality program and enjoy it. But I just don't enjoy it. I'd rather watch the Prime Minister's Minutes on C-Span.

THIS^

I'm in my late fifties. If I was "cured" (i.e., brainwashed, drugged, lobotomized, or given XshockX behavioral-modification therapy), then (1) I would no longer be who I am, and (2) I would have to learn all of the social skills that I could have learned 40 years ago.

And what good would that be, now that I'm too old to go to the prom and run for student-council president?

Last edited by Fnord on 29 Sep 2015, 7:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh kraftie. C-Span is way superior to reality TV, IMO. I'll bet if you were NT, just by virtue of being a bright person you'd hate reality TV anyway, LOL. And that IS something to be proud of...

I hear you on alleviation of symptoms. The big concern here (to me) is that "curing" ASD might change the person's personality...and IMO...that would be a darned shame. So I feel as you do on this issue.

DUDE! We have almost identical tastes in TV! Just saying.

Because we'd contract the NT virus.

...So , after a " cure " ~ what would it entail ? What ~ say , would I ~ be ?????????????????????

Because we want tolerance and understanding. It's way easier and realistic than a "cure", as there are squillions of possible "causes" of autism.

Plus, as much as I hate some aspects of Aspergers, it does bring me pleasure when it allows me to breeze through some parts of life while NTs suffer. Lab-work comes to mind...

And really, the world won't function at all if everyone is the same boring NT. Someone has to be different. Might as well be us. If we're lucky, we'll be the ones selling those sh***y phones to the gullible NT masses...

All my difficulties aside, I wouldn't be the person I am today without Asperger's. To cute it would feel like getting rid of what makes me me. It's helped me develop strong interests, it's helped shape my personality

Also, I respect and understand if others want a cure, but I don't see why I should have to "change myself" just to fit in with society

And this is what I'd want. My idea of a cure isn't necessarily taking someone's soul away.

I guess I'm one of those people who think slightly different than most autistics here because I lived a NT life for a portion of my life.. I wasn't just born as the quiet or different guy who was always bullied. I had friends in grade school, went out to their homes, parties, and loved playing sports. I was also very outspoken and made people laugh..

Several years later, after developing this condition and being ostracized for so long, I have found a medication that worked wonderfully for about 2 years and it was like almost getting my life back; it masked my anxiety symptoms but then eventually I found out it wasn't only social anxiety but possibly Asperger's syndrome.

OP, I am not ill and I don't need nor want 'a cure'. Most people with Aspergers are not ill and do need nor want a cure. You may not get that, nor understand the concept of cure is offensive to me. If you want a cure for yourself, then perhaps go in search of one; maybe you could try ABA, a practice which appalls most of us here, which is claimed by its proponents/adherents to be the most 'curative therapy' (though I certainly wouldn't describe it as that). Good luck to you...

Wow, I have never heard of any "developing" autism so late in life...would you like to share your story? Or if that would be inappropriate for this thread/a hijack, PM me if you'd like? I am curious. This is just something I never heard of.

B19: IME ABA does not change the condition or change how the person feels, it only teaches the person to act differently so as to please others. Trust me, I have been adjusting my behavior for four decades. To this day it still feels false. No actual change has occurred within me, my autism or my personality. And I still have the same level of discomfort, for instance in making eye contact; it's just that I know when and how long I'm supposed to do it. But inwardly the feelings are all the same.

There are some self-regulating behaviors involved sometimes and those are helpful to the autistic person (indeed, even NT people need to self-regulate at times) but learning how to act among NTs isn't a cure for autism. Rather it creates a still-autistic person who has knowledge of how others wish him or her to act and who has learned scripts and so on that feel more appropriate and clear to the general population. This is only my experience (having had a son go through it as well, with heavy overseeing by and input from me to put the brakes on when things got insensitive and ridiculous, which they did). Perhaps other people's experiences were different and it may also depend upon the autistic person's personality as we do indeed all have our own personalities.

I don't think genetic modification of a grown adult organism is even possible nor will it be for a very long time. My problems stem from the modern business and education systems that are designed to oppress and fail people who aren't socialites. My other problems stem from depression and anxiety that ensues from my inability to fit into the above system.

All of my problems only exist because of the modern world, if it was a thousand year ago or earlier I'd be just fine.

"They're always complaining about being lonely and upset about life but say they rather be like that over a cure."

There are plenty of NTs who are depressed, lonely, etc...except well, they also enjoy meaningless stuff or get bored easily if they are alone. No, thanks. At least when I am lonely or depressed, I can always find some special interest to dive into for hours on end and actually learn something, instead of moping around the house.

Those are the same thoughts that I have regarding a cure.

I quite enjoy bieng alone and doing things by myself a lot of the time. On the other hand trying to fit in feels unnatural and very unconfortable quite often. So why would I choose what I don't like over what I like?.

A huge problem with not fitting in is financial,jobs etc. But as the cliche goes money does not buy happiness.