Feeling like you can't connect with anyone

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I don't even know what "connecting" means.

Vimes, do you have friends outside of work?

One thing is to avoid a trap - that is thinking that one can choose to be seperate as a valid option.

-- for a few people this might work, but very few

-- separation, isolation are not what we as humans are built for, and although Aspie we are still Homo Sapiens

Secondly, believe there is someone who can relate to you (Because there is. I mean really there are like 8 Billion people. Surely you can find one whom you find interesting and vice versa) It can be a friend, or a partner.

Thirdly don't make your world revolve around you and you alone. Others are interesting if you just take the time to look and observe them. Even just the simple people who inhabit the backround of life. Its easy to get stuck in your own perspective and not realize its just one of many.

The way out of self absorption is outward not inward.

I can relate to your story. 28 years old now.. i sort of gave up. I am getting a german shepherd puppy in a few months from now. Atleast they are always loyal...

I've given up, too, but to a lesser extent.

I have one really good friend. We have a connection. I'm not sure if it would've been cultivated if I even lived in the same town as her, though, but now it's there, I feel like it can survive anything. But, she's too busy living a hyperNT lifestyle to spend a lot of time with me. This saddens me, since I don't think I'll connect with anyone else like I have with her for as long as she lives.

Hi, do you have friends outside of work?

definitely

Crushed one of my careers. Totally, emphatically, no doubt about that. Couldn't follow the BS or office politics.

Got dunned by a VP once because I didn't apologize for a mistake. I asked why I had to apologize as I had already acknowledged the mistake and put aside other work to fix it. Big back and forth on that. Still didn't get it then and still don't get it now.

To me an apology is for something you knew you did wrong. "I'm sorry I broke your vase." type of thing. But, I do not feel that an apology is warranted for a miscommunication.

But, that's just me.


I know I don't. Almost all communication with the outside world is like here: Virtual.

I've always had problems discriminating the human voice. Having to participate in situations that are chaotic and a lot of people talking just make it impossible to follow things. The written word is better for me. I can take my time and process it. Then reply. No need for the 'wait' as that's already part of online/distant communications.

Not only do I feel I can't connect but I feel invisible when I do try. I've also noticed that NT's will just flat out ignore me if they don't understand what I'm saying which leads to the invisibility complex. Incidentally it happens to me on social media as well so bye bye FB. Thank Thor for my dog!

Yes, I can relate. I have friends, but I feel like I can't tell them personal things about myself. I find it hard to let people see the "real me"; I'm afraid they'd think I'm crazy or not be interested.

Yes, i agree with most everyone here. I wish i could connect, but...i cant put my finger on just what it is that creates this barrier. I suppose its just another one of autisms mysteries. What could it be though?

I want to connect because it will help me to be less lonely. I like my alone time. But lonliness is something else. I try to connect with others. And i have many friends that i like a lot. But they always seem closer to someone else.

I can't relate to having a good friend. My friends growing up have drifted from me somewhat, and i havent been able to make many friends at home since then. But at college, there are so many social opportunities for me, and i love having friends now! I just want something a little deeper. I want to share myself with other people without being afraid of them. Being afraid of them in the social anxiety sort of way, or a fear of opening up sort of way.

Maybe fear of judgement is giving me a fear of opening up. But i still dont know what creates this barrier between myself and the world. I feel trapped in myself, and no matter how i tell others how i feel or what im feeling. Theyll either not understand. Or they wont care.

But i wont give up. We get closer and closer to people the more we spend time with them (sometimes).

wow i didn't know anyone else was having that problem, i can't seem to connect with people, i mean ive always been unable to really make friends but this ones really annoying, i do have one friend though, we were sort of put together by a teaching assistant and we became friends, but yeah its hard to connect with people, i didnt know other people felt that way though.

I'm not really sure what it really means to be friends with someone.

The friends that I had in high school, either turned out not to be friends or I forced them out later (because that's what AS people do when interests don't align anymore).

I didn't develop any meaningful relationships in college. I got along with others just enough to get by with schoolwork. I didn't get to live on campus for financial reasons, which I think was a mistake. I think it would have helped me if I had lived among students.

Now I'm all alone. As in, there is no one to speak to. Some days I feel like flushing my phone down the toilet, it just makes my pants pocket heavy and pokes at my side.

Unfortunately, I've found the opposite to be true.

For me, I feel I relate to another person when we discover some aspect of our lives in common that we're both interested in, and we share our ideas, experiences and feelings on that matter, or if it's an activity of some kind, we might also try performing that activity together. During that process we enhance each other's interest in the topic by providing one another with fresh ideas about it. It doesn't happen to me in a profound way very often, I can't always find anything much to share that's of any great interest to both of us. I guess that's down to the ASD trait of having a restricted range of interests, plus my not having much contact with people anyway. So I do feel like I can't connect with anyone, to some degree, but when I think about it, I guess I don't do all that badly, just that my perfectionism will never be satisfied unless I'm relating really strongly to other people all the time, exchanging fascinating, deep ideas and having an utterly brilliant time with them. I don't suppose I'll ever be able to objectively measure how well I do compared with the average person.