Proper diagnosis-How?

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^^^I would write these problems as two items on list:

*Trouble communicating in your work interfering with your work
*Trouble dealing with increasingly unplanned + distracting aspects of work interfering with your work

You can also make these two items general, as in going from work to other aspects of life, but emphasize the impairing and interfering effects foremost.

The reason is that some psychs may not take you seriously if you present not that weird and have job and family, but if you make sure to tell about the impairments, then they have more concrete reasons to refer you or assess you.

I think your point about instantaneous demands (in the wider context of how ASD people prefer to function) is both interesting and very relevant to this discussion. Interviews and other social forms of encounter (including diagnostic interviews) are loaded with instantaneous demands. Now, additionally your area of professional expertise has become overloaded with them too, and they have become a built-in expectation. I so understand how dis-spiriting and dismaying this experience must be for you.

I must say you sound pretty aspie to me.

Asperger Syndrome people very often don't do well with instantaneous demands (this is true for me particularly). I like to turn over ideas or problems or concepts in my mind in a slow and considered fashion, from all angles, to consider counter-proposition and other alternatives, and so on. I like to think, I like the process of deliberation, of finding the best pattern in the swirl of competing alternatives. And that takes time, and for me also the absence of distraction (like noise or people chattering nearby). I like to "sleep on" ideas and see what comes up the next day out of left field; I like complexity, intellectual challenge and formulating concepts... which is completely the opposite to the rushed hustle and bustle do it faster make more profit ethos of our times and cultures. So I too am a dinosaur; I never thought I would say I miss the 'old days' yet you make me realise that there are some things I do miss.. (I am quite a bit older than you)

Here's the funny thing.When I'm working (or even when not) when I start to really think, the whole world goes away. I literally do not see or hear the world around me. It's as if I have left behind everything and just am in that moment of thought.

Now, when that happens at a work situation, and I'm focusing on the problem, it's been taken as me not focusing and just drifting off, not paying attention. Can't tell you how many times fingers and been snapped or poked to get my attention and then told to 'pay attention'. When that happens, I lose that train of thought and it's bothersome because I was actually working on the problem and usually near an approach or solution.

Had an interesting conversation with somebody I knew 40 years ago. I moved around a lot, but did manage to go to high school for the first time in one school. Well 10th - 12th. She connected with me through classmates and wanted to let me know about a reunion.

Long story short, we talk periodically. But we have talked about my inability to know when someone is hitting or flirting with me (she admitted to doing so and just thought I wasn't interested). Tonight I told her about what I've been discovering (She has an ADHD child and a nephew with Aspergers) and she told me things I did not realize from that time.

She told me she noticed even then that I did things in a very orderly manner, single minded fashion and did not react well when that order was disturbed. And, those reactions are starting bubble out now. It is getting increasingly as the coping mechanisms start to fail with those around me.

This was a revelation since I moved so much and have very few people in life that has known me for any length of time. So, a reference from any of that time is only my frame of reference. My parents are not on board with this as they do not understand that the diagnosis does not change who I am, just why I am the way I am. And, it should give them comfort.

I can't tell you how many times I got grounded. I mean for long periods of time. They never understood why it never worked. They could not understand that instead of punishment, it was a relief. While I was in my room, nothing was expected of me and no interactions.

Yes. I too can inwardly focus on a project or thought in such a concentrated way that everything else temporarily ceases to exist. Typically these times are when I am able to do my most creative thinking and problem-solving, and time perception changes for me - when I have completed whatever it is, I am often surprised to find that elapsed clock time is totally different from my perception of the time spent "in my head" even if I am writing the project simulataneously. This has also happened to me on the very rare occasion when I have painted pictures, and I seem unable to paint decent pictures unless I am in that state of flow.

HFA creativity and creativity patterns are a neglected area in terms of research, as are the profound visualing abilities some have, and that is a great pity I think. The mindset of focusing research on what we are not good at is so exclusive and entrenched that it is having terrible effects on younger aspie generations IMO. But it also affects the older ones too - we are tarred with the same negative brushes in terms of research focus.

Here's something that I found funny on the tests I took online. Some of the questions did actually make me laugh.

The question was about being able to do multiple things simultaneously. Multi-tasking.

Now, the physical actions I can't do. Heck, when I was a kid, I could walk and listen, but would have to stop to speak. I Don't know why. Took a long time to break that. Still not easy for me to do.

But, my brain always has at least three things being worked on at the same time. Many times I will be in the middle of something and from somewhere comes the answer to a previous problem that vexed me deeply.

There are other things I laughed at either in the tests or descriptions. One was "Little professor". Actually had that nickname in 3 different schools.

You might find Tony Attwood's The Complete Guide to Aspergers Syndrome illuminating. I know I did at the stage you were at. It was a revelation to me regarding things I had thought were just personal idiosyncrasies of mine. I was a little professor in childhood too, (I'm a big one now, lol) and when my NT friends don't know something that puzzles them they say "Ask her, because if anyone knows the answer to this, it will be her". I love information and have stored so much of it over a lifetime, which - coupled with my memory advantages - serves those friends quite well

I want to thank everyone who replied here and in private. I have begun to reach out to see what professionals respond. Waiting is the hardest part.

I continue to read many of the posts and it's been very informative to be here.

Thanks to everyone

You are welcome.

I gave up asking for referrals from regular publicly funded doctors here after being dismissed and ignored for years. Instead I googled "Autism" in my area, phoned a couple numbers, was directed towards this neuropsychologist who had 20 years of experience in diagnosing Autism. I saw the therapist that the neuropsychologist worked with, who did the assessment over 3 appointments for $145 each, after which she handed her results to two seperate neuropsychologists who came back with the diagnosis of Apsergers's Syndrome.

I just picked up the signed letter stating my diagnosis today for a 4th and final $145 appointment. I think the wait list to see a publicly funded psychiatrist who diagnoses adults with autism is something like 18 months or more here. So I am glad I just forked over the cash and got it over with. As for why I had not been diagnosed earlier? Well doctors ignore everything their patients say, that pretty much sums it up. I also was sent for extensive testing at the age of 5, which the psychologists failed to identify autism even though there were plenty of signs. That was almost 25 years ago, and they clearly didn't have the understanding or awareness of autism that they do now.

Noca I think part of the problem - only a part - is that people often naively seem to think that any psychologist has (or should have) the same way of practicing, the same ideas, the same interests, the same competency levels, the same education in the same subject areas, the same knowledge and that all clinical psychologists are specialists in all conditions that affect human function.

None of those perceptions of psychologists are true, yet people accord a general professional privilege of "all-knowingness" to psychologists and psychiatrists that is founded more in hope than fact.

As you wisely did - finding a specialist in autism, not a generalist in clinical psychology is the important first step. As a second, do your homework and examine the practitioner's credentials and also his/her personal perspective on autism (the net is wonderful). Just because someone is a professional psychologist doesn't mean bias is absent - some are activist supporters of outfits like Autism Speaks, for example. Ask how much experience the clinician has had with adult diagnosis and what formal learning he/she has done in relation to adult diagnosis. Do as much screening as you can prior to making an appointment for adult diagnosis purposes.
Ask how the screening will be done and what tests it involves.

Professional services are still consumer services, and you are entitled to know the kind and quality of services on offer. There is no other way that you can make informed choices. Otherwise it is likely to be a hit or miss process, and blindly making appointments hoping for the best is a risk for wasting your time, money, and can adversely affect your emotional energy and psychological well-being.

I am in the midst of the diagnostic process so far myself. I spent approximately three weeks calling and emailing every Autism related professional and group that could have knowledge or leads on a competent diagnostician within my area, and in my insurance (if possible). I found one through a local school (Rowan University), but I have yet to call them. I have an appointment with a separate therapist, however, she charges $160/hour, and that is outside of my financial grasp at this time, so I will likely have to cancel.
Once I found a couple options for diagnostics (disregarding all that disqualified me based on antiquated data such as gender, education, and speech), I scheduled an appointment with my primary care doctor for a referral in case my insurance required this (it may not, but I wanted to be prepared). I prepared by speaking with the last remaining parental figure in my life (ex-step-mother) to validate and elaborate on my childhood behaviors (she would be unable to attend or participate in the diagnostic process for a multitude of reasons).
When I saw my doctor, she granted the referral using 'social anxiety' as an excuse. She gave me a very hard time about this though. In retrospect, it seemed as if she was trying to trick me into saying that everyone was out to get me (I had explained that, since childhood, I have always stood out or been told how my behavior was just not quite appropriate or fitting in, difficulty in social situations that I could recognize when examined in retrospect etc., and that I had multiple difficulties both in social and work situations.) This made sense of her attempt to refer me for paranoid delusions. One thing my family and few friends can agree with is that I am neither paranoid nor delusional. Even when I had explained that I had been 'cleared' of psychiatric diagnoses because of a DYFS accusation, she asked why they didn't suspect ASD. I told her it was likely for the same reason I was having trouble finding a competent diagnostician: too many professionals relying on a stereotype and/or antiquated diagnostic criteria. She asked what the purpose was for my diagnosis, which, for me, is validation as well as the basis to explain why I have certain.... deficiencies... in certain scenarios. She accused me of trying to rationalize my bad behaviors. I replied that of course I was, no one wonders why a genius is smarter than everyone else (not that I was labelling myself a genius, just that people never wonder about the cause of someone being exceptional). The appointment continued in about as wonderful as it seems. Regardless of my explanations she tended to attack my motivations and my beliefs, but in the end I received what I asked for, so I count it as a success. It has been a very conflicted success, but a success nonetheless.

I have yet to call the psychiatrist with Rowan, as I have been processing my appointment (Thursday of last week). However, I am generaly prepared for this appointment. I have the list of my scores from all of the applicable online tests/screening tools as well as the rationale for the fluctuation of the scores.

This, for me, has been approximately 18 months of research just in the applicability of ASD to me. I am now taking a break as it tends to rule my life, which becomes disruptive for my husband and daughter.

I hope you can glean some assistance from this, but if not, then take my sympathy and commiseration. This can be a very frustrating and stressful process.

Yeah, if I wanted some electrical work done on my house I wouldn't go with someone who "sorta did electrical sometimes as a hobby on the side", I would go with someone who that's ALL they did, day-in, day-out. Same approach I used, I didn't just go seek out any ordinary Jo Blow psychologist or doctor, I've had enough experiences being ignored and misunderstood by those people. When I saw the therapist she even said right off the bat that your ordinary family doctor or psychiatrist doesn't know jack about autism whatsoever, and I couldn't agree more.

I wonder how many of the ignorant group ever take the truly professional course of saying from the outset, "I would be wasting your time and money as I have no professional knowledge nor competency in that area". It really would be interesting to know. Given that clinicians are in business, on their own behalf or as employees, you have to wonder whether the profit motive would or wouldn't over-ride the client service ethic - you would hope the client's needs were prioritised, though from several years of reading feedback on WP, I have serious doubts.

To extend your analogy, I wouldn't consult an ENT specialist for help with diabetes, and if I did, and the ENT spec attempted to treat me for my diabetes, (except in emergency), he/she would probably be found guilty of a professional malpractice. It's a pity IMO that this same standard doesn't apply to mental health/neurology diagnostic fields.

Also, I think many psychologists and psychiatrists tend to over-rate their level of competency even in their specialities, partly because clients who give negative feedback are usually invalidated automatically.

I feel in my case, that the profit motive, or over-regulation, played a role.

1) The person I saw definitely saw the referral saying "Asperger's evaluation." To wait until the end to tell me that "They only treat and diagnose children." was a waste of my time, my insurance and really tainted my view of things at the moment.

2) "Suggesting" that I get 'treated' by her partner (who did not take any insurance) was just not right.

Still reaching out anywhere I can to get a diagnosis. I've made contact....how long should I wait before I contact these people again?

I gave it a week after an email and a phone call unless they specified a specific amount of time. Then I waited that amount of buainess days and called again.
But I have been called stubborn, persistant, and obnoxious.

That was extremely exploitative and unprofessional, IMO. That's a very clear example of how clinicians can serve their own needs, not the client's.