20 Nov 2015, 11:38 pm
20 Nov 2015, 11:49 pm
zkydz wrote:
Quill wrote:
That's tough. Maybe you talk to your girlfriend and see what she would like you to do if you assume your tone can't be changed. Talk about it before it happens in a conversation and she gets upset. For example, maybe she can stop you and tell you how your tone sounds as soon as she hears something off about it, and you can explain whether you actually mean to sound aggressive or you just mean to sound neutral (if possible, adjust it a little bit). Make it just a little pause in the conversation. Then maybe you could clear things up before your tone becomes an issue and ruins the conversation you're trying to have.
Actually, that was before in past relationships. What's funny is that my wife is the first person to actually adapt to me a bit. It actually also helps that we are still overcoming language barriers, so that makes us try a bit more. But, she is organizing her approach to things in ways that I can understand. She actually breaks things into organized chunks of data that I can digest. She will let me complete a thought. She knows I have difficulty if I don't get it all out. Or, if interrupted, have to start over again.
It has made things much smoother. So, in a way, having someone that works with me helps a lot. But, the other problem is the sensory overload as she is completely outgoing and busy. She can watch TV or youtube, knit or crochet and have a conversation all at the same time. Sometimes not perfectly, but she can do it. Thank goodness she is also independent and doesn't mind if I stay home while she goes and does things on her own. That makes it easier as many times, she is going to do things with her culture....food, language, all sorts of things.
And, I get precious downtime.
That's great! Glad you're no longer dealing with tone problems!
Yeah, I don't understand how some people can multitask so well -- I'm doing good if I can switch back and forth between two different websites on my tabs without losing my place!
21 Nov 2015, 4:48 am
Quill wrote:
That's great! Glad you're no longer dealing with tone problems!
If you want to know the truth, it's not just the wife. This carries over into other areas of my life though.Professionally, in communications of all kinds really.
I just used the wife as an example of how, when someone does work with you, things can be different. Good luck getting the job to do that though. There, I'm just still viewed as 'difficult' in some situations, and insightful in others. Basically, 'difficult' when in basic communications or socially oriented things. Insightful when it comes to my methods of achieving goals in my area of study.
